Why do most alcoholics fail at staying sober?

[Dallas]

Why do most alcoholics fail at staying sober?

The number one reason is: They try to stay sober on their own -- alone -- and without help, and without a program of recovery.

Why do so many AA's fail at maintaining sobriety? Similar reason as #1: They may start out well. They start feeling good. Life looks good and things are starting to get better. So, once again, the alcoholic is saying to self: "I can do this!" instead of "WE can do this!"

As a real alcoholic -- my #1 defect is: I want to do everything alone -- on my own, and I want to do it my way -- on the highway. "I don't need your help and I don't need your silly Steps!" LOL.

So, if I were to rephrase my answer above -- in accordance with the 12 Step Program of Recover -- I believe the number one reason, that an alcoholic, after a sufficient time of being sober -- returns to drinking again, because: They forgot the First Step -- or, they never really completely took a First Step -- so that they could continue practicing the First Step DAILY!

If we ask the AA re-tread "why did you start drinking again?" Most of the time -- they will answer "Oh. I stopped going to meetings." (As IF going to meetings would keep them sober).

They still haven't learned "what it is" that keeps them sober -- and most often, it's NOT in the going to meetings that keeps them sober -- however, it is suggested that they do continue regular attending regular meetings.

According to the book, alcoholics anonymous, (the big book) The first paragraph of Chapter 7, is an indicator of what the book's authors agreed -- was the BEST way to insure staying sober. If you don't know what that is -- I'd suggest that you read the book.

Best wishes and Happy Sobriety!

Dallas B.

[Toast]

The only sober alcoholics in the world are in AA

[P Scribby]

This is exactly why I am a re-tread. I have never fully given myself to the program. I have tried being self-reliant in recovery (after the initial fear and remorse wore off and I got some sober time). It's amazing to me that people with many years of sobriety manage to maintain their sense of urgency about avoiding alcohol and working the program. But I have been told -- and I plan to follow this advice this time -- that the answers are in the Steps and in the meetings. I hear people (including addictions counselors) say that people stay sober without AA, and many take some aspects of AA but leave the rest. Being selective about what I wanted to follow has not worked for me.

[Dallas]

Welcome to the forum. Thanks for sharing! Your sharing and participation is greatly appreciated!
Dallas

[sunlight]

My experience has been that there is a loss of our primary purpose: to stay sober and help other alcoholics achieve sobriety.

The reasons for this are as varied as each individual. I've seen many stop doing what they did in the beginning, or start isolating. Some stop taking daily inventory and their defects roar up again. Others neglect prayer & meditation or working with others. And I've talked to those who just don't care anymore. (????)

Each day, no matter what else I have going on, my primary purpose is to stay sober and help others do the same. Numero uno. Main focus. Don't EVEN try to divert me!

It's been working for 9 years, just celebrated another milestone! Staying sober has a lot of variety and ways to accomplish this each day. It never gets boring or stale. But I have to work at it!

Nothing means more to me than sobriety. I want to keep it that way!

[Dallas]

Great to hear from you Sunlight! Congrats on your Big 9 !!!!

My experience has been that there is a loss of our primary purpose: to stay sober and help other alcoholics achieve sobriety.

I totally agree w/ you! My observations is exactly the same. I see it in three parts:

1. Singleness of Purpose, and
2. Primary Purpose
3. Simplicity.

The solution to it, for me is: The Big Book. Get in the book. Stick with the book. Stay in the book.
Read the black ink on the white pages -- and avoid adding colors or grey matter to the text.

Again, GREAT to hear from you!!!! (You've been missed).

Dallas

[Pebbles]

Through my personal experience(I've been in the program for 4 years) I had a hard time finding a sponsor who had worked the steps with a sponsor who had worked the steps with a sponsor, out of the big book. I kept looking and looking for someone who had worked the steps completely and thoroughly, and had that spiritual awakening that step 12 talks about. Thank God I never took a drink in those 4 years. I was in a dry drunk for most of it, because I was never able to completely and thoroughly go through the steps the way they were meant to be done.
That is a sad fact in the area where I live. There's many people who "think" that they are working the program, when they really aren't. The meetings are usually about the problems, instead of the solutions, and newcomers go to those meetings and hear stuff that isn't recovery related.
Thank God that my sponsor and I came into contact with each other...that person really did save my life, and now I have that fire burning inside of me, and I am very excited to be able to share with others what my experience was and is.
Today I have the solution-I had that spiritual awakening that step 12 talks about. And I really really like the life I have today, and I want to keep it. The most common solution for us alcoholics, is to grab up a newcomer, and go to work. When all else fails, work with another alcoholic will keep me sober.