Step 10 & 11 - Growing in Understanding & Effectiven

[Dallas]

Yes. You're not alone.

I still struggle with having to keep my lid on.
I want to let it rip -- and too often, I let it rip.
Then, I want to just go and hide and let things cool off
but I guess I've formed a pattern now, of knowing I had better
make amends as soon as I can and try harder on
not letting it rip.

Steps 10 & 11: Growing in Understanding & Effectiveness.

What that means for me is: Developing structure, discipline, and trying like heck to grow in maturity.

Lack of maturity -- and not being able to act maturely for long periods of time -- has always been my weakness as far back as I can remember.

I could probably sum up all my defects of character, not as Ego, but as "Childish-ness."

The big baby. LOL.

However, it's refreshing to me -- to see that I have made some progress.
Maybe it's tiny and incremental -- but, at least, it's still progress.

My sponsor tells me "That's all we can do. Strive to make a little more progress today than we did yesterday.
And, when we fail at it -- pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off -- and get back on the road again."

[Toast]

Thank Dallas,

Childishness can be a biggie for me as well. When all my attention is focused on me I’m not in a good place, guess that’s why AA tells us to work with others, gets us out of ourselves.

I remember showing my sponsor pictures on my newborn granddaughter with her mom and grandma standing alongside. My sponsor said’ that’s a great picture John, and you know the best thing about it, your not in it! So just keep it that way, stay out the picture and everything will be OK!’

Be well

[Dallas]

Our sponsors must have been classmates in the same Sponsor School, John! LOL.
We got lucky!!!

Over the years I've often reflected and tried to find the answer to: "What is it about AA, that actually makes it work so well? The Steps? God? The Fellowship? All the little actions that we take? Helping others? Etc."

I've become convinced that ALL of it -- together -- serves one purpose that we need the most.
It keeps our mind off of ourselves.

When I'm not thinking about ME -- Life gets really good! I seem to have minor problems, ordinary problems, and nothing to complain about. Then, when I discover that I've been thinking about ME -- suddenly, I become aware that my Life has come apart at the seams and everything sucks! LOL.

It all boils down to that one magic ingredient -- One alcoholic, talking with another alcoholic, with the purpose of recovery and sobriety foremost in their minds. So simple. So complete. And, nothing profound or complex about it at all.