- HELP ME UNDERSTAND..........

HELP ME UNDERSTAND..........




Personal experiences with a Higher Power of your own understanding.

Postby Dallas » Thu Sep 09, 2010 11:18 pm

Thanks for sharing! I appreciate you!
Dallas
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4781
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Postby Jim W » Fri Nov 19, 2010 4:24 pm

God,
Please help me to set aside everything I think I know
About myself,
About alcoholism,
About these steps,
And especially about God (or spiritual matters)

For an open mind and a new experience
With myself,
With alcoholism,
With these steps,
And especially with God.
Jim W
 
Posts: 119
Joined: Tue May 30, 2006 12:27 pm
Location: Everett, WA

Postby Pebbles » Fri Nov 26, 2010 4:07 pm

It's easier to believe, than it is to not believe......
Pebbles
 
Posts: 71
Joined: Fri Nov 12, 2010 1:24 am
Location: Idaho

Postby Pebbles » Fri Nov 26, 2010 4:08 pm

And....God might run me out of the program, but whiskey will run me right back in...... :wink:
Pebbles
 
Posts: 71
Joined: Fri Nov 12, 2010 1:24 am
Location: Idaho

Postby Toddy » Fri Nov 26, 2010 4:36 pm

68 DAYS of acttion packed aurrenderhas turned my pree AA self intto a Sober Todd, miracle enough for me
Toddy
 
Posts: 74
Joined: Tue Oct 05, 2010 7:36 am
Location: Pennsylvania

Postby Dallas » Fri Nov 26, 2010 7:27 pm

:wink: Congrats Todd! Keep coming back!
Dallas
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4781
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Re: HELP ME UNDERSTAND..........

Postby DANNYBOY35 » Thu Sep 27, 2012 12:43 pm

DEAR BRIAN
I WAS REALLY TOUCHED AND 100% CAN EMPATHIZE WITH YOUR CURRENT DILEMA TO THE AGE OLD QUESTION! SO I WILL TRY TO SHARE MY KNOWLEDGE AND WISDOM THAT HAS TAKEN A LOT OF SOUL SEARCHING AND MANY ARGUMENTS.... "INTERNALLY" AND WITH OTHERS TO HELP ME COME TO A DECISION!!
SO ITS ONLY FAIR THAT I TALK A LITTLE ABOUT MY PAST/ HISTORY WITH ADDICTION AND WITHOUT SOUNDING LIKE A COMPLETE NUT/ OR BIBLE BASHER ETC ETC LOL!
MY FATHER AND MOTHER WERE BOTH LIFELONG CO-DEP ALCOHOLICS! LIFE WAS HARD, BUT OTHERS HAD IT HARDER! MY MOTHER WAS A DEVOUT CATHOLIC AND GREW UP IN A CONVENT! SHE CAME TO MARGATE FOR A DAY TRIP AND NEVER WENT HOME!
MY DAD WAS A "MOD".... JACK THE LAD..YOU SEE AND HE HAD NEVER SEEN A WOMAN LIKE MUM IN KENT B4! 6FT LONG DARK HAIR, CONFIDENT, VERY VERY BEAUTIFUL AND MY MOTHER OVERHEARD THE MEN FIGHTING AS TO WHO WAS GOING TO DATE HER!? WELL MY MOTHER WAS FURIOUS AND PUNCHED MY DAD SQUARE IN THE FACE...... THE REST IS HISTORY/ LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT I GUESS!!? LOL. I HOPE THAT WHAT I TELL YOU NOW DOES NOT BURDON YOU AS I MUST MOVE ON SWIFTLY BRIAN.....!
SO MUM FOUND AA WHEN SHE HIT ROCK BOTTOM AND REGAINED HER FAITH AND IT WORKED FOR HER! AS FOR DAD IT WAS NEVER HIS CUP OF TEA! SO THEY SPLIT ALTHOUGH SOULMATES AND WOULD NEVER FIND LOVE AGAIN ALTHOUGH NO MATTER WHAT, THEY WOULD ALWAYS RECONCILE THERE DIFFERENCES AND AGREE TO DISAGREE!
SADLY DAD ALTHOUGH MAINLY SOBER WOULD HAVE A ONCE/ TWICE WEEKLY SLIP AND MUM WOULD LOOK AFTER HIM ON HIS COMEDOWN! UNFORTUNATELY IT WAS TOO MUCH STRAIN ON HIS BODY AND HE DIED 2YRS AGO FROM A SUDDEN HEART ATTACK WHILE BLIND DRUNK AND MY MOTHER WHITNESSED IT ALL, SHORTLY AFTER BURYING HER DEAREST SISTER TO LUNG CANCER ONLY MONTHS PREVIOUS!!
SADLY MY MOTHER LOST HER FAITH AND WITH IT THE OCCASIONAL DRINK! NUMB THE PAIN, LOOK FOR ANSWERS, SEE A SIGN.............. AND SADLY LAST YEAR SHE TOOK HER OWN LIFE AFTER BATTLING HER INNER DEMONS AND SACRIFICING EVERYTHING, A TRUE ANGEL TO ALL..... IT WAS ALL KIND A WORTHLESS TO HER, HOW IF THERE WAS A GOD COULD HE BE SO SO CRUEL!!?
I WAS IN A VERY VERY DARK PLACE AFTER BATTLING FOR YEARS MYSELF WITH ADDICTION AND DRIFTING IN AND OUT OF ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS! I WAS ALONE AND DYING INSIDE, SO BITTER AND ANGRY BEGGING FOR HELP AND EVEN ASKED "GOD" HA FACT LOT A GOOD HE WILL DO HA TO HELP ME........ NOTHING/ JUST SILENCE! I WAS AT ROCK/ ROCK BOTTOM OR SO I THOUGHT!?
I WILL SPARE YOU THE HORRID DETAILS BECAUSE IF YOU THOUGHT THINGS COULDNT GET ANY WORSE...... WELL MATE I HADN'T SEEN ANYTHING YET!!!!
I COMPLETELY LOST MY MIND AND WAS HELL BENT ON REVENGE AND DISTRUCTION........I WAS A DANGER NOT ONLY TOO MYSELF BUT TO OTHERS AS I HAD NOTHING LEFT TO LIVE FOR...OR SO I THOUGHT? MY FAMILY HAD ME SECTIONED UNDER THE MENTAL HEALTH ACT AND NOW IS WHEN THINGS REALLY GET INTERESTING!
SEE BAD/ EVIL BREEDS BAD AND FEEDS ON IT LIKE A CANCEROUS CELL WHERE AS WHEN YOU ARE HAPPY AND WELL, YOU CAN JUST TAKE IT FOR GRANTED RIGHT!!?
ANYWAY DRUGGED TO THE EYEBALLS ON HEAVY PSYCHIATRIC MEDS, AND AROUND VERY VOLATILE AND DANGEROUS PEOPLE I SHUT DOWN COMPLETELY AS IF MY POWER SUPPLY HAD BEEN SWITCHED OFF BECOMING ALMOST DEAF/ BLIND AND MUTE IN A WAY! UNABLE TOO RECOGNISE LOVED ONES, NOT WANTING TOO, AND EVERY DESPERATE ATTEMPT OF MINDLESS THERAPY SESSIONS.... COGNITIVE/ BEHAVIOURAL/ REGRESSIONAL/ I JUST HAD NO FIGHT AND NO WILL.... I WAS AS GOOD AS DEAD AND THIS WAS AS GOOD AS HELL!!
SO I HAD BEEN IN THE UNIT FOR APPROX 4MONTHS OR SO NOW AND WHAT I FAILED TO EXPLAIN EARLIER WAS MUM WAS BI=POLAR AND FREQUENTLY STAYED IN THE UNIT I WAS IN TO RECOVER!
NOT A WORD SPOKEN FOR ALL THIS TIME I BECAME AWARE OF A VOICE..... DEEP AND WITH AUTHORITY UNRECOGNISABLE, YET COMING FROM ME! ? THEN I KNEW IN THAT INSTANT AS TIME STOOD STILL AND I WAS RECITING THE "SERENITY PRAYER" OVER AND OVER AS THE PATIENTS SCREAMED HES TALKING THEN WATCHING THE NURSES CRY WITH RELIEF! A FIRE HAD IGNITED INSIDE OF ME AND ...... I CAN TELL YOU WITH MY HAND ON MY HEART THAT WAS DEVINE INTERVENTION/ AS IF MY LIFE WAS DEFINED BY THIS VERY MOMENT SO, I STOPPED SUDDENLY AND DECIDED TO ASK FOR HELP FROM A HIGHER BEING/ A SIGN NO MATTER HOW SMALL OR ANYTHING JUST PLEASE NO MORE PAIN AND WHAT IF I ASK AND NO ANSWERS AGAIN? PERHAPS SOME CRUEL TRICK ONLY TO BE LEFT DEJECTED AND ABANDONED ALL OVER AGAIN, BUT I HAD NOTHING TO LOOSE REALLY!?
AND THERE IT WAS!!!!! WHAT HAPPENED NEXT IS BETWEEN ME AND MY CREATOR/ GOD/ ENTITY/ AND WAS SO AMAZINGLY PROFOUND IT WAS TO CHANGE MY LIFE FOREVER AND LEAVE ME WITH AN UNQUESTIONABLE DOUBT "IN MY MIND" THERE IS A HIGHER BEING/ THERE IS PURPOSE TO ALL LIFE/ WE ALL HAVE A PATH TO FOLLOW/ AND MY LIFE STARTS RIGHT NOW!!
WITHIN A WEEK I WAS RELEASED AND COMPLETELY CLEAN/ SOBER AND DRUG FREE! WITHIN A MONTH I MENDED MY FRACTURED FAMILY AND SURPRISED ALL BY BECOMING STRONG AND RELIABLE.... A CONFIDANT A BROTHER AND A FRIEND! IN 2MONTHS I WAS VOLUNTEER COUNCILLOR FOR K.C.A, A LOCAL DRUG/ DRINK RE-HABILITATION/ DAY CLINIC! I WENT ON TO STUDY PSYCHOLOGY AND SOCIOLOGICAL COGNITIVE THERAPY AT COLLEGE FUNDED BY O.W.L.S A PHONE BASED "ADULT BEREAVEMENT VOLUNTEER COUNCILLOR"..... KINDA LIKE SAMARITANS WITCH BECAME A SECOND HOME TO ME!! CURRENTLY I AM WRITING A DISSERTATION ON THE POWER OF THE UNCONCIOUS BRAIN...MIND MAPPING AND ATTEMPTING TO BLOW THE MINDS OF OLD SKOOL THINKERS LIKE FROYD WHO STEADFAST BELIEVE IN NATURE NURTURE.......BULL!!!!
I AM BACK AT THE MENTAL HEALTH UNIT AS AN AMBASSADOR FOR "M.I.N.D" AS AN EXPERTS EXPERT HELPING LOST SOULS LIKE ME FIND THERE INNER VOICE! I AM THANKFUL FOR EVERYTHING I FEEL. SEE. TOUCH, SMELL! I PRAY TO SOMETHING FAR MORE INTELLIGENT THAN WE ARE RIGHT NOW AND LEARNT TO BALANCE THE GOOD WITH THE BAD!!
SO ITS SIMPLE BRIAN....... IF YOU DO NOT GET ANY SIGNS ITS BECAUSE THE TIME IS NOT RIGHT FOR YOU/ RIGHT NOW!?
WE ARE ABOUT TO GO THROUGH AN EVOLUTION SHIFT AND THIS IS SOMETHING EVEN THE CHURCH AND SCIENTISTS CAN AGREE ON! SO HAVE PATIENTS AND TRY TO BE THE BEST YOU CAN AND YOUR PATH WILL BECOME CLEAR MY FRIEND I PROMISE YOU!!!
SO THAT IS THAT! BEARED MY HEART AND SOUL AND BORED YOU TO TEARS! IF ITS OF ANY HELP TO EVEN 1 PERSON ITS ALL WORTH It!!!
LOVE, PEACE AND GOODWILL TO ALL!
DANIEL (ALPHA1MUAHK) XX
DANNYBOY35
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Sep 27, 2012 10:40 am

Re: HELP ME UNDERSTAND..........

Postby Toast » Thu Sep 27, 2012 2:45 pm

Hi,

Never bored me Daniel i really enjoyed what you had to say.
Welcome to the site, and just keep it coming!

John
Toast
 
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Joined: Mon Oct 11, 2010 12:50 pm

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