by cinderbobble » Tue Apr 25, 2006 1:53 pm
What I do, I ask God to reveal himself to me. Wish I was on the beam when he chose to... but I think he answered when he kept me sober. Anyway, I value dogs for their humility. Even the mean ones are only that way, to please their original owners. But my role models are my cats! They are so un-needy! Except when they need to eat. I am the one that feeds them, and they go to my b/f! I don't care - all I care about is that they are well. My b/f didn't want them to begin with, and now he's stuck w/them! He loves 'em! Anyway, because I value my cats for what they represent to me, when I was down on my knees to pet ma-cat, I imagined that that was God's particular expression to me at that time, and I prayed to the aspect of God residing in that cat, at that time (namaste?), and let it go. I struggle w/the God concept, which is why I continue to ask him to reveal himself to me. I think if I had a clearer concept, maybe I would have more trust. But then, the steps are what are outlined by some strong higher power that a HP used to bring us to sobriety and health, so I think about what the Bible says, if you love me, you will DO these things! Anyway, I do tend to go at it in different angles, but I think these cats are the best angle yet!
(added!) Oh, these cats were semi-wild, they'd been abandoned. This one cat kept having babies. She had the roundest biggest eyes. But what was so heart-wrenching, was when I fed them, even thought she might have been starving, she always let her kittens eat first. Eventually I was able to give some of them away, and get two female cats fixed. They are not the most affectionate cats, but somebody like me can understand and accept that!
