AA isn't for everyone!

Help for alcohol abuse addiction alcoholics who want to stay sober
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AA isn't for everyone!

Postby Dallas » Mon May 01, 2006 6:42 am

I'm working the AA Hotline number this week, and I just got a call, that started with a question to me: "How do I quit? This is killing me!" (I'm sure he meant "how do I quit drinking? ... the alcohol is killing me." )

The only thing I could tell him was what I did. I came to Alcoholics Anonymous, and asked for help.

After listening to him rant and rave about how bad AA is, and all the bad things he believes there is about AA... and about how badly he felt he was treated, when he came to AA in the past... I couldn't help but ask myself, "Then, why are you calling an AA telephone number?" ... but, naturally... I didn't ask him that question.

I'm sure that AA has no monopoly on sobriety... our book tells us that. And, of course... we're all just a bunch of recovering alcoholics, ourselves... so, naturally, one visit to an AA meeting, and I'm sure that not everyone will appear very Saintly, or to have had all their character defects and personality problems perfectly removed... none of us are professionals... and we don't charge any dues or fees. We're just a bunch of alcoholics, trying to help other alcoholics like ourselves!

I told the caller, that if AA is not what he thinks will help him achieve what he wants to achieve, he could always try church or religion... I've heard that church and religion has worked for some alcoholics. Or... he could try something else... But, I have no experience with anything other than Alcoholics Anonymous, to share with him, because AA is what has worked for me.

I suggested that he could try other meetings, try some meetings with different people, or to get a copy of the book, Alcoholics Anonymous and read it and follow the instructions in the book. I've heard of many people who just read the book, followed the instructions in the book and it worked great for them.

Then, he asked "Well, how does it work?" (Of course, we have a whole chapter on that!) And, my reply was... "well, what worked for me was the 12 Steps."

He said... "Oh yeah... and then you get a Higher Power or something" ... and then he mumbled off something and hung up on me.

Hopefully, the caller will find what he is looking for. AA isn't for everyone. And, AA is not just for those who need it. AA is for those who want it.

All I can really say... is, that AA has worked great for me.

Sure, I've been to AA meetings that I didn't like and I didn't feel comfortable with the meetings... and I tried different meetings, until I found AA meetings that I felt comfortable with. Heck, I've even had Higher Powers before... and Gods... that didn't seem to work for me. But, I didn't give up. Alcohol had beat me to the point that I was willing to accept whatever help I could get, from anywhere I could get it, and AA was the place that I found that help!

Probably the biggest thing that happened for me... was that something started happening to me... and I began to change. Perhaps as I began to change... the meetings, and the people, and perhaps even a Higher Power, God, as I understand Him, appeared to have changed!

Thanks for letting me share! And, AA... thank you for the good life that you have given me!

If you are reading this... and you identify with the caller... and you believe AA is not for you, and it sucks, and it’s all bad, etceteras.... You can always do three things: 1). You can keep looking for something different that works for you. And, I hope that you find it. 2). You can always change your mind about AA, and give it another try... differently. And, 3). You can always keep on drinking until it does kill you. No one can, or will, force you to do anything that you don’t choose to do! Unless.... you are as alcoholic as I am.... I lost the power to choose whether I would drink alcohol again... and, on my own, I still do not have the power to stay sober and not drink... However, I have found a Higher Power... through the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous... and if I continue to take certain simple actions... I’ll never have to drink again!


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Postby 1dayatatime36 » Wed May 03, 2006 5:22 am

I guess all we can do is pray that the man will come to realize that if he really wants to quit drinking, he will give AA another try..for me, AA is for me, and so are the 12 steps, as soon as i get past 1 :lol:
I have tried so many times to get sober, but always knew that deep down i would drink again, that is what kept me sober for that time, was knowing that i would get to drink again as soon as i cleaned up the messes that my drinking caused me..and of course i would make my drinking different, yeah well, we all know how that went..i haven't been to AA in over 9 years, but was familiar with it and the 12 steps, but didn't want to get sober then, or i would of worked those steps..Happy to say this time i came to AA with a whole different attitude than back then, and i am trying to work on those steps, and apply them, because i never want to go back to that dark place of my last drunk..i was more fortunate apparently than some, and even this man you talk of Dallas, because, i have always had GOD in my life, but i never asked him for help with my alcohol or anything else related to it, the problems rising from it..i always asked for material things, or human things, or getting me through another beating that was sure to be on its way..i never thought to ask to rid myself of my disease so that all the rest could go away..Other than asking for help and guidance with my daughter, i really didn't have any other relationship with a HP, but i always knew HE existed in my life..I just didn't know where i was suppose to be in life, i really thought, coming from an alcoholic family, that it was my destiny to be of the same cloth..expect no different and no better in my life, and a lot of my justification was how else was i suppose to deal with my daughter..if i didn't drink the reality into something else that i could deal with..and even today, i am wondering how i am going to face that, but, i know now, that if i turn it over to GOD and let HIM take over, i will get through that as well..(Told ya i ramble..) I guess what i am saying, is i am opposite of the caller, AA and the program is the only thing that is going to save me and my life..Thank GOD for AA and members like you and others on this board..thanks for letting me share, and ramble..have a good nite, GOD Bless..Tonya

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Postby Rusty Zipper » Wed May 03, 2006 11:47 am

if the guy calls back... might say... " Try it, what do you have to loose? "... it shure works for me... one second at a time.... love all of you... great post Dallas... agw & tol.......(_z_)

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Postby campsurf » Thu Jul 20, 2006 3:29 am

When I hear a story like this, I can only think of the "beligerent one" it talks about in the 12x12 in step 2.

My old riding partner used to say...if you don't feel like you belong in the program maybe you haven't lost enough yet....and we would bet a dollar on guys that still had snake skin boots or a crack head that still had a watch....most of the time these guys just didn't last.

One problem, we had to stay sober to prove these guys wrong. Some one has to stay so when they show back up...they can see people still working a program.

Jim in Olympia

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Postby Jim W » Sat Aug 05, 2006 1:41 pm

Reminds me of a time I was at a meeting. The topic was the second step, or something to do with God.

This man, who I've known for years came in a bit late. I've been watching this guy for ten years and he reminds me of myself-he has been unable to put together sixty days at a time. For about ten years, I myself was a chronic relapser.

So he comes in and takes the meeting hostage for about fifteen minutes, going on and ranting about how bad his life is, how bad he feels , how he is unable to stay sober, he picks AA apart and then closes with "how he can't stand this "God s**t." Then he gets up and stomps out the room. A few guys go after, to try to get him to come back. I'm thinking let him go.

I'm not into convincing anyone that they need AA or need God. There is a much better Convincer than Me. They don't call alcohol the great persuader for nothing. I know it rendered me teachable and beat me into a state of reasonableness.

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Postby Dallas » Sun Aug 06, 2006 11:16 pm

Thanks for sharing Jim! Nice to hear from you! :wink:

Scott: Alcoholic
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Postby Scott: Alcoholic » Mon Aug 07, 2006 5:52 pm

Wow. This is really good stuff! Dallas...thanks for sharing that moment in your day with us.

Scott: Alcoholic

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Postby anniemac » Tue Aug 08, 2006 11:22 pm

For me, it did take some convincing, and I'm glad that there were folks who were willing to talk to me about all of my doubts about AA and "the God stuff".

I didn't lose everything; I barely lost anything. However, I didn't want to drink ever again. I wanted sobriety but I was also so angry and bitter that I was fighting with everyone who was trying to help me (in AA).

Thankfully they stuck with me and I was able to acheive and maintain sobriety without going back out and hitting a lower bottom.

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Postby campsurf » Sun Aug 27, 2006 5:32 pm

Amen Annie;

I am so glad to see people getting this stuff before they are homeless. I certainly believe the "bottom" is being raised. I believe it is all of our jobs to see that this happens by staying sober. They say if you stick around long enough someone will tell your story.....

I never got a DUI or went to treatment, but I have had my share of just not giving a damn. Alcohol gave me that, when I started to sober up, responsibility became a foundation for my recovery. My whole drinking career was about being irresponsible, mostly to myself.

I belong to a large men's group and see the bottom being raised every month with the new sobriety birthdays. And the drunks are getting younger and maintaining sobriety. I remember being the youngest in the room many times when I first showed up in 1980....things have changed.


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Postby JD » Wed Sep 27, 2006 5:59 pm

Hi all!

I believe he called AA back because he knows deep down it is where he needs to be.!!

I believe he is getting hung up on the higher power thing as you have all spoken about.

I guess he hasn't lost enough yet. Hopefully he won't loose too much before he gets another chance at this.

Great topic! Great input! Thanks All!


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