12 Steps of Dating

Topics and discussions related to being single and or dating while in recovery
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Joined: Wed Jul 19, 2006 4:03 am

12 Steps of Dating

Postby campsurf » Wed Jul 19, 2006 5:31 pm

Hi All, my first post here, I saw a poem on the internet and it lead me to this site. I belong to one other site. This one seemed kinda new so I decided to post. I wrote this about a year ago for members of Al-Anon but it applies to alcoholic as well.

12 Steps of Dating

1. No More secrets, talk to your sponsor.

2. If they do drugs or get drunk at all, forget dating, run! Also remember is there is a right way to drink and a wrong way, make a healthy decisions about the use of alcohol in your life and those you date.

3. Self Respect, no longer can you just jump into bed
at the drop of a hat. This is a hard one. Don't let sex to define the relationship, aim for mutual respect, integrity and friendship. If I don't respect myself how can I expect the other person to respect me.

4. Self Honesty, what do you want, don't settle for less no matter how
lonely you are.

5. Develop friendships with others in recovery, start going out in mixed company, to meetings after the meetings, or speaker meetings.

6. Don't confuse love and sex, you can love someone without sex and you
can have sex without loving someone.

7. Boundaries, know what you will put up with and what you won't put up with. This is important and don't compromise. They are the foundations of new romance and a new life.

8. Know when to break it off, and be able to do it in a loving way, no one likes to get dumped, but why end up with someone that isn't right for you. Also, if you get dumped, this only means God has better plans for you.

9. Communications, talk, dream, hope, share, listen....these are skills many of us forgot how to do when living with someone in addiction or active substance abuse ourselves.

10. Never forget where you came from, don't make the other person your Higher Power....keep going to meetings no matter what.

11. When you get ready for intimacy, Include your Higher Power, know that he/she wants only the best for you.

12. When you get that first kiss, whether the world is spinning with emotion and the hope for a steady relationship begins to materialize or whether it doesn't, always be grateful. Thank Your Higher Power that someone was part of your life if for but a moment or forever, never take the other person for granted...life is too short.

"A heart is not judged by how much you love but by how much you are loved by others." from the Wizard of OZ

Jim in Olympia

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Postby Dallas » Thu Jul 20, 2006 2:27 am

Hey campsurf! Thanks for sharing and welcome to Step12.com Make yourself at home. Glad to have you here. I read the poem you posted in the Poems section. That was really awesome. Thank you for sharing that also! And, thank you for sharing the 12 Steps of Dating, too!


Tina L.
Posts: 73
Joined: Sat Aug 20, 2005 5:05 am
Location: Santa Monica, California

Postby Tina L. » Mon Oct 23, 2006 3:51 pm

jim thank you for that wonderful message. i will print that out so that i can read it a few times and i will pass it on to my sisters in sobriety. tina xoxoxo

Site Admin
Posts: 4786
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Postby Dallas » Fri Oct 05, 2007 8:43 am

These are good suggestions!


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