I spent some time with a sponsee tonight; we were working out the finer points of Steps 9 thru 12. When we were done for this eve, he started his 50 minute trek home. About 2 hours later I get a text message...it went like this:Sponsee
: "Coming back"Me
: "to my house?"Sponsee
: "Am here"Me
: "I'm confused"Sponsee
: "Need to smoke a cigg am outside"
At this point I am asking my wife to look out on the steps to see if my sponsee is actually at our house again...yup, he was sitting outside my front door havin' a smoke and petting the neighbor's cat. I went out to talk with him...
He apparently decided -after leaving here earlier this evening- that he was [sort of] going to start the amends process tonight. He came back to talk with me about what happened, how he felt and what I felt about it. Of course, I am praying the whole time he is talking, but I am dialed in and hear everything...then we had a discussion about people's roles in things again and what parts of relationships were which persons responsibility, etc.
He felt pretty good, I felt even better and he left on a real positive note [again] this evening...and off he went.
On his way home, he sent this:Sponsee
: "...you're the greatest friend I can ever ask for...I really look up 2 you...If we never met... I can only imagine what I wud be like today"
---at this point I am re-reading to make sure that I was seeing what I was seeing...tried to keep composure and replied---Me
: "I am always here..."Sponsee
: "I am extremely comfortable n want this friendship for life"
---at which point I started to ball like a baby; these tears were tears of most humble gratitiude. This is one of those moments when you know that all of the hard work that we do in this program is really worth it; that the Promises of AA are more real than the sun and that only a Power Greater than Us makes all of this possible.
I am witnessing someone else's life change [for the better] before my eyes and I am lucky enough that God has allowed me to be here to be a part of the process...after all of the horrible things that I have thought, said and done in my life, all of the people that I have hurt along the way and all of those times when I looked straight to God and told him to piss off - "I don't need you!".
When I think about the Hope that this program has to offer...I really wonder who is offering who the hope [when we work with other people] and who receives the greater gift...the sponsee or the sponsor. Somehow -for me, tonight- I feel as though I get the better bargain.
Let me tell you that what happened for me tonight was worth what I went through to get to these precious moments, this day...and there is nothing like it on earth!!
I just wanted to share this with all of you and share how God speaks to me and lets me know that I am moving in the right direction. It is also the thing that keeps me moving - daily: face-2-face, on the phone, online, when I pray."Woo-Hoo! It's great to be a Secret Agent for God!!!"