- Cheerfulness and Laughter make for usefulness

Cheerfulness and Laughter make for usefulness




Share your sobriety jokes and humor here

Cheerfulness and Laughter make for usefulness

Postby Dallas » Sat Aug 19, 2006 10:54 pm

Cheerfulness and Laughter make for usefulness page 132 BB:

Gees, it's been a while since we've had some humor posted here! I hope that everyone hasn't gotten so busy taking inventories... that they've forgotten to laugh!

Heard any good new jokes lately? Got any old ones that you'd like to share?

Dallas
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Postby garden variety » Tue Aug 22, 2006 1:40 pm

OK Dallas. Heres something that showed up. It's a little bit crude. Made me laugh. Hope it makes somebody else laugh too.

THINGS TO DO IN PUBLIC RESTROOM STALLS (Other Than The Obvious).

Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "may I borrow a highlighter?"

Say, "uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."

Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

Say, "Damn, this water's cold."

Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantelope into the toilet bowl from a height of six feet. Sigh relaxingly.

Say, "Now how did that get in there."

Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."

Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbor's while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!"

Say, "Interesting............. more floaters than sinkers.'"

Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here please?"

Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me now."

Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggott."

Say, "Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"

Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.

Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"
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Postby garden variety » Tue Aug 22, 2006 1:43 pm

I hope this is OK to post. I thought this was funny too! :lol:


A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:

"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."

"You foul-mouthed sex-obsessed swine!" retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country, we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives!"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sex? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell Mississippi!"
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Postby Dallas » Tue Aug 22, 2006 2:56 pm

--- :shock: :shock: :shock: :oops: :lol: ---
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Postby Scott: Alcoholic » Wed Aug 23, 2006 4:07 am

I like this one: "Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise." :D

As a matter of fact, this fits my personality so well, that the next time I have the opportunity to do so...I will. This sounds great and I look forward to the first chance to try it out! Thanks for the idea!

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Postby Buck V » Wed Aug 23, 2006 4:08 am

Don't know if this is appropriate either (loved the other ones posted though) but it may have a moral in it somewhere.

A drunken man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say Father, what causes arthritis?" The priest replied, "My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath."

The drunk muttered in response, "Well, I'll be damned," Then returned to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

The drunk answered, "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here in the paper that the Pope does."
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That was good!

Postby Dallas » Wed Aug 23, 2006 2:13 pm

:lol: :lol: That was good! :lol: :lol:

Hey Scott... which is it that you're looking forward to, .... to
Cheer and clap loudly.... or break the silence with a bodily function noise?
8)
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Postby Scott: Alcoholic » Wed Aug 23, 2006 2:31 pm

Oh! Well, just to 'clear the air'...I meant the clapping part. :lol:
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Re: Cheerfulness and Laughter make for usefulness

Postby Banjoman » Sat Sep 09, 2006 2:53 am

Dallas wrote:Cheerfulness and Laughter make for usefulness page 132 BB:

Gees, it's been a while since we've had some humor posted here! I hope that everyone hasn't gotten so busy taking inventories... that they've forgotten to laugh!

Heard any good new jokes lately? Got any old ones that you'd like to share?

Dallas
A cop stops this guy in a car who was driving along the side walk. Cop says "Have you been drinking?" "reply "YES" Cop says "Why are you driving on the sidewalk" Guy says "You dont expet me to drive in the middle of the road in my cndition do you"?

Two drunk guys make a short cut towards home along a railroad track. One says "Hell of a long staircase this one" the other drunk says "Sure is, and I dont reckon to much to these low hand rails either :lol: "..
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Postby Dallas » Sat Sep 09, 2006 7:28 am

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Thanks for sharing that!!! I enjoyed the laughs!!!
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