My name is Anne, I'm an alcoholic,
How sooo-so true. I've witnessed these
steps 5, 7, 10 & 12. As well, to be honest, I've done this
step 1, because I've become critical, or my feelin's 've been hurt (like...wah
). I've seen members git up & leave a meetin' cuz they're mad about somethin' someone else said, along with the mind-set-a "who needs this?" I've also learned by observation that it was believed that by goin' to meetin' after meetin', doin' as much service work as can be fitted into a schedule--with the mind-set that if no one else'll do it, I
will...keepin' too busy to do one's own step work also leads to a slip, with an after-effect of "how did this happen? I'm doin' this & that &...&...&..." When an individual does this, I do not shun them...I try & lead 'em back down the path & have them see what they see as missin' in the picture, as this was done with me with caring & compassion after I'd slipped--back-track...see where ya got stuck, plant a 'red-flag', learn from it & keep goin'...ya'll'll know to watch fir that pot-hole now. It's a new learnin' ground for us cuz we're alcoholics. It's natural for us to drink, & we acquire the new mental set that it is not
, in fact, natural. This comes with the spiritual awakening as a result of these steps--not by doin' cart-wheels 'round meetin' halls. I seen once--a guy come in...very first meetin' ever, right after New Year's/Christmas...this particular meetin' was goin' to be followed by a business meetin' where we were to elect new service members. I greeted him with a hand-shake, explained that all the goin's on's & that he didn't need to worry 'bout that, & that we were havin' a regular meetin' first, & that he'd come to the right place. I invited 'im to sit, or if he preferred, (I saw that he had a pack-a cigarettes in his pocket), that he was welcome to have a smoke B4 we started. He chose this (we gotta stand outside-town by-law thing). When he come back in, one-a the other members saw this new face, approached him, welcomed him & asked him if he'd be interested in bein' on the committee cuz we need...& she went on to say what all we needed. I tried to interrupt 'er to stop 'er...nothin' doin'. I'm thinkin' "oh-no...no-no-no...while maintainin' composure. The 1st-timer's head kept veerin' back further & further, he'd try to take a step back, she'd take a step forward. I'm lookin' at him, motionin' my hand&shakin' my head tryin' to tell 'im not to get worried or nothin'. 'Course, my part--I'm now lookin' as nutty to 'im as she's comin' across. She fin'lly finished 'er spiel by sayin' that it was the service work that kept 'er sober, & she turned & walked away. He looked at me with a 'what-the-____
' look on his face. I calmly invited 'im in, assurin' him that he didn't have to, I asked him when his last drink was, he'd said the night B4, bar til closin', wife locked 'im out like she'd promised. I asked 'im if he was ready to stop for himself, he nodded & said he was tired a wakin' up sick&tired, & needin' a drink to git goin'. I invited him to come & sit, that he didn't have to say nothin' if he didn't want to, ya don't gotta do nothin' & that the business meetin' was after, he didn't have to stay for that (unless he wanted to), & that we could help ya turn things around. He did come in, but he was really unsure. I asked him if he wanted a coffee, he only nodded..I got it for 'im. He settled in, & the lady says to 'im & says..so have ya thought about it? I leaned across the table & quietly said to 'er that this was his very 1st meetin'. She knew that, she said. The meetin' started...he did stay...but he never come back again. After he left (& just 'bout a-runnin', too), I quietly said to the lady that that guy likely won't be back again--I hoped I was wrong, cuz--we know, if ya want it bad enough...right? I tried to explain to 'er that ya don't hit a 1st-timer with all that--he didn't even know what ya'll was talkin' 'bout, & that he prob'ly took-it to mean that he had to do one-a these things...his last drink was the night B4, etc. This lady, bless 'er soul, believed that by keepin' busy with service work & meetin's...she never had time to do 'er steps...that that was all she needed to stay sober. Granted, she did a lot
...but--she did slip, & wondered why? I could see it comin'
, & I'd say somethin' like, don't get stuck on a step, keep movin' on yir steps...she'd keep sayin' she didn't have time. But that's okay...cuz now she does know & she's readjusted a few things in 'er life & now has time to work on 'er steps. The guy--did
eventually come back.