- What do you do on a sober date?

What do you do on a sober date?




Topics and discussions related to being single and or dating while in recovery

What do you do on a sober date?

Postby Dallas » Sat Aug 19, 2006 11:19 pm

Sometimes, our visitors land at this forum, after having used a search engine to search for information on "A.A. and Dating."

I'm not sure if it's newcomers... looking for info on A.A. and dating, or if it's oldtimers... who don't want to admit that they're single, or would like to date someone, or... maybe it's been so long since they've been on a date... they forgot what to do! :lol: And, of course... maybe... it's none of the above!

Got any tips and suggestions for us? :wink:

What do you do on a sober date?

Dallas
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Postby Scott: Alcoholic » Sun Aug 20, 2006 12:31 am

Maybe the "cart bump" at the grocery store doesn't work for the older generation anymore. That search criteria you see is probably something along that lines of: "Well, if an alcoholic can get a date...well, maybe it'd work for me! Wonder what they do!?"

Then they Google away for some tips! LOL!! :lol:

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Postby Dallas » Mon Aug 21, 2006 1:34 pm

Yep. Now with broadband, fast Internet, and video... we can do a "Google Geographic!"

I wonder how the cart-bump would work out with a wireless connection and a laptop in the market?

Hmmm..... Getting some new ideas! :wink:

Added note here:

BTW: I'd hate to be doing that cart-bump with an older generation... and end up having to buy a hip replacement to make amends! :roll:
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Postby Hope » Tue Sep 19, 2006 8:23 pm

It's been so long I wouldn't know what to do. :oops:

Is there any type of introductions area here for those who may be looking?

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Postby Dallas » Wed Sep 20, 2006 4:31 am

Hey Hope!

The thought was kicked around for a while but all it got was kicked. I think it would be nice to have a section with Intros and Photos of sober people interested in connecting with other sober people for friendship and dating interests. But, left to myself with my own thoughts... can lead me to trouble. :wink: I always dislike being the only guy on the block with a unique idea that no one else shares interest in. Maybe your question will spark some comments about it.

Know anyone who may be looking? :lol:

Dallas
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Postby Serenity » Wed Sep 20, 2006 6:21 am

Don't drink on your date or with your date and don't date anyone who makes you want to drink. Keep it simple. Make a list of the things that you like to do and do those things. Make a list of things that you would like to do that you haven't done and try it. You might like it. If your date is boring be honest and true to yourself about it. Pay attention to red flags and warning signs. Keep both eyes open while having fun. If you think you fell in love on the first date you didn't. It was lust. Call your sponsor and keep in touch about who you are seeing, where you are going and what you are doing. If someone wants you to do something and you are unsure about it or not comfortable with it ask them if they mind if you call your sponsor and ask them about it. Have fun. Enjoy life. You didn't get sober to be glum, bored or miserable. Stick with happy people. Be a happy person. Avoid negative people with negative stories. Be with people who make you smile and laugh. Run fast if they want to tell you their 5th step on the first date. If they insist on talking relationship stuff on the first date they are probably insecure. (They may be looking for a hostage rather than having an interest in friendship and dating). Most of all respect yourself and expect respect from the people that you date.

Hugs to you all and good luck on your dates.

Serenity.
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Postby Tina L. » Sun Nov 19, 2006 11:06 am

Keep it simple and stay sober on your date. :lol:

Tina
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Postby Susan68 » Sun Jun 14, 2009 8:13 pm

Dallas wrote:The thought was kicked around for a while but all it got was kicked. I think it would be nice to have a section with Intros and Photos of sober people interested in connecting with other sober people for friendship and dating interests. But, left to myself with my own thoughts... can lead me to trouble. :wink: I always dislike being the only guy on the block with a unique idea that no one else shares interest in. Maybe your question will spark some comments about it.


I don't think there's anything wrong with this, but perhaps limit it, like AA, to alcoholics only? I know nothing about drug addiction, but it seems a little different to me. I've know drug addicts and I've known alcoholics. The drug addicts have been frightening in what they will do for and when on drugs. I think drug addicts maybe understand other drug addicts enough to be able to safely date each other. Am I being ignorant on some level?
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Postby Dallas » Mon Jun 15, 2009 1:11 am

Susan68 wrote:Am I being ignorant on some level?


I don't think you're being ignorant on any level! :wink:

And, I'd like to read more from you on it... if you care to express.
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Postby angel143 » Mon Jun 15, 2009 9:21 am

A sober date....hmmm....I remember going out with a guy...ONCE...and we just met for dinner...I had no need nor the desire to drink. I met him there, thank goodness. I sit down, and we start talking. I was immediately trying to find a way to leave, without being rude. He seemed so great when I had talked to him a couple days before...Well, I decided I needed a drink if I was going to spend any time with this guy. I was still trying to think of how to nicely get out. I was halfway through my drink...and he purposed! No joke. I mean I realize im awesome and all, but that was a little crazy. :lol: He proceeded to tell me he was serious and so on and so on...I decided polite was not necessary...I got up and left!

Turns out he was drunk. He called the next day and left a message for me. He said he was drunk. I honestly couldnt tell. I decided at that point, I didnt want to be dating anyone that drank. I was still in the mindset that I could though.

Now...I am looking forward to sober dates. Any takers? :wink:

I think some kind of section specifically for developing a close friendship or dating...where you go into it with that intention. That way you know what the others intentions are. You wouldnt want to be just talking with someone and not know how to interpret what they are saying...are they being nice just because...or are they being nice cause im special? I think a specific area for that would be great. It takes the wonder out of things. You know what intentions are then!!!

Just my 2 cents. After you read all that I may actually owe you money! :lol:

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