Twilight Zone, or HP?

[anniemac]

I just love when "coincidences" happen.

About 4 years ago, I investigated a few assisted living facilities around here, on behalf of my dad, who was down in FL at the time. He subsequently decided to stay down there. However, over the recent holidays, things kicked up down there for him, and my husband and I ended up going down there and bringing him back up here permanently. He is temporarily staying with family, but will need to go to a facility shortly.

So, I was on the phone with him this morning, talking about the types of facilities around here, and that I would begin to make calls and investigate the options. When I hung up the phone, it rang again and I thought for sure it was him again. Nope. It was a woman from one of those nearby assisted living facilities, calling to check in and see how my dad is doing.

I was stunned at the timing - what are the odds that 4 years later, they decided to make follow up calls? So I asked the woman what prompted her call. She said she was responding to my inquiry from last month. Ummm, I didn't call them last month. I haven't called them in 4 years. She insisted, no, I had inquired last month.

Wow. Ya think the Universe is listening in on my conversations and responding accordingly?

I just love this type of stuff!!

[bill]

Amazing how this stuff works, isn’t it?

[anniemac]

It sure is! Welcome to the site, Bill - good to see you jumping right in and participating.

[bill]

Well, the place sure seems dead. There does not appear to be anyone talking to the newly sober.

[Dallas]

Not really dead. We get about 700 to 800 people each day who cruise in and read the forums. So, I think "quiet" or "shy" would be a better description. A lot of people even join the forum but they seem to be real slow to jump in and participate. Maybe it's like regular meetings, too. People show up and participate for a while and then, one day you look around, and they're not coming.... then, a few months later, they show up again.


Welcome to the forum bill. Nice to see that you're not shy or quiet.

Dallas

[bill]

I always wonder about those you stop seeing at meetings. Sometime they show up a year later looking twenty years older. Some of them you never see again.

I noticed a lot of new people not receiving much encouragement, and thought it would be a shame if lack of someone to talk to contributed to their relapse. Sometimes a casual remark can have a large influence on someone else.

I was looking at a board I visit on another subject and there were 130 people on line, 12,000+ threads, 130,000+ posts almost 2,500 members, that is for a hobby. This is serious stuff.

[Dallas]

Some of the best encouragement that I ever got was “Keep coming back. And, if you discover that what you’re doing isn’t working... be willing to change what you’re doing and try something different.â€

[Dallas]

Wow. Ya think the Universe is listening in on my conversations and responding accordingly?

Back to your topic Anniemac ... sorry for me straying off of it!

In 1993, circumstances and my willingness to participate in them, arranged for me to be taking care of my mother. I thought it was a wonderful opportunity to spend some quality time with her, make some amends to my deceased dad (direct amends that I wouldn’t be able to make directly to him), and explore using the things that I had learned in my own recovery... towards the improvement of her health. When I made the commitment to care for her it was relatively easy. It was the right thing to do and I was the right person to do it.

We were living in Northridge, California. Nice house. Nice pool. Great A.A. Life was just as near perfect as it could be.

At around 4:31 a.m. on January 17th. 1994 (I think that was the day and time)... the ground began to rumble, the house began to shake, it got real dark and all I could hear was glass breaking and the sounds of like the house was being turned over and shaken upside down. I grabbed a flashlight and headed into my mom's room to be sure she was okay... and I found her underneath half of her furniture... which was good, considering there was broken glass covering her floor and she would have been cut badly had she tried to walk out of her room.

I'm kind of used to big earthquakes, because I grew up with them. This was the most damaging one that I had been in, because the house was sitting at the edge of the fault that produced the earthquake.

My mom wanted to leave California as soon as possible. Since she wasn't supposed to live more than about six months in the future (me and her doctors thought)... I said "Okay... where do you want to go?" The Twilight Zone! (Arkansas!). So, we packed up, closed down my business and I moved her to Arkansas... figuring I would be back in LA before the year was over. It's 2007, and I'm still in Arkansas!

I had been doing everything I could to help my mom stay out of a nursing home. Last year, I surrendered to losing the battle. Her memory lapses had progressed into Alzheimer’s, her physical health got worse, emotionally I was feeling like I was about to break... and I had made the decision that she needed more professional help than I could provide... and that it would be best (for me and her) to put her in a nursing home.

Three days after I made the decision... I got a call from my sister who was living in Las Vegas... and, she informed me that she had just moved to Arkansas and wanted to take over taking care of my mother!

Twilight Zone? HP? God? Life? Hostess Twinkies? I don't have a clue. But, I'm glad that things turned out the way they did.

Recently, I've been making new plans and arrangements and exploring some different options as to what my next steps in Life will be. For the last several months I've been heavily involved in checking out two very different paths.

Just this week... I've began to notice certain positive and some not-as-positive events and circumstances that change... as I move towards one direction and decision, and then towards the other.

I personally don't think that God cares much about which way I go or what I do.... as long as I stay sober, keep my house clean, help others, and do what I can to enjoy Life and be happy in healthy ways. He and His Universe will be just fine regardless of what I do!

However, I have noticed that His Universe seems to giving me clues through results.... and that I can use those clues to assist me in making my choices... so that I can continue on a positive path of living Life in the Better and Better. If I wasn't doing my daily "Measurement Steps" (Steps 10 & 11) like I use them... I might not be noticing the clues!

Funny how things work sometimes.

I ask Him (or Her...God is who I mean) for guidance... and knowledge of His will for me and the power to carry it out. I feel like I already know most of His will for me -- the basics -- ... but, it's the receiving the daily Guidance that I seem to be getting... that’s amazing me!

Who knows? Could be God. HP. Universe. Twilight Zone. Mathematics. Probability. Or whatever.... All that I know is that something appears to be working... I don't need to understand it... and, it's cool that it's working! I want to keep an open mind and learn and use all that I can with it!

Dallas

[anniemac]

Wow, Dallas, that's amazing about your sister moving to AR to care for your mom ~ as you said, what timing!!

Yes, it's a tough spot to be in ~ feeling that I am "sticking" my father in a facility; yet knowing that truly he'll be better off there on several levels ~ one being the care/safety, and the other being the socialization with peers....we work all day and he'd be alone all the time. Thankfully he does not need a nursing home, physically he's in decent shape, just can no longer to the housekeeping stuff like cooking. So, the assisted living/senior residence places are a bit more appealing and there's one I have my eye on that's actually downright nice. Or so it seems, at least.

This has truly been the most stressful 3 weeks in my sobriety, as my relationship with my father has never been great and for reasons still mostly unknown, he drives me up a wall. It's difficult for me to feel love toward him. However, I also know that there's an abundance of lessons and growth in this for me. I think I'm finally growing up a bit.