Hope everyone is doing well!
I've been a little hesistant to comment on this particular topic, but what the heck? My sponsor, among other people, tell me to speak up and communicate and quit being a "door mat". So, I'll give my spin on it.
I admire people who are an "open book". I mean, the ones who really are open books and not just talk. I admire people who are comfortable with be un-anonymous. Maybe someday I will be that way, too. However, I am not one of those people right now.
I have lost jobs because I drank while working. I deserved to lose those jobs. I have lost one job because I was a sober member of AA. Well, to be totally honest, I would never have gotten the job if I had admitted that I was in AA. In my interview, I was specifically asked if I had a problem with alcohol. I said no. I thought...."no......as long as you don't put it in my mouth"! I just didn't say the last part.
So anyway, I lost the job because of a "lie of omission". But that lie of omission would never have came to light if a couple other people would have respected my anonimity. These people broke my anonymity in my own workplace.....in front of numerous customers, fellow employees and management.
With that being said.....I deserved to lose that job, too.....I should have been honest from the very start.
Yeah, it was my fault. I will never do that to someone else, though.
On a different job, an AA member broke my anonimity by interuppting a discussion with a customer to ask me about a meeting schedule. I had been in AA for about two months then. I might have been sober for probably two weeks. The customer asked me(quietly.....without announcing it) if I was friends with Bill W. I replied...."Who?".
Immediately after I said "who?", the first member.....who, btw, is a really really a great person......covered the cell phone long enough to ask me yet another question about the schedule......in front of the entire business.
I gave up and was honest with the customer.
Should I just walk around telling every customer I have that I'm in AA? No. I have a business to run. Should other members walk into my place of employment(and it's happened more than once....or twice) and bust out my anonymity? No. Maybe that's why AA was named as it was.
The traditions nor the steps require me to do or tolerate either of those things. In fact, they clearly state that anonomity is "the
" spiritual foundation of our traditions.
If someone is comfortable with not being anonymous......that's great. For them. Heck, I'm even finally getting a little less protective of my own anonimity. I do crazy things like speak when asked to at meetings, I don't mind being seen in public with other AA's, I brought my daughter to meeting where I knew there was a chance we'd be recognized. Heck, I knew there was a good chance I'd be recognized regardless of whether my daughter was there of not. Occasionally, I even forget to hide my BB and other books when I go somewhere(and not care that I forgot)!
But......there's probably a reason Alcoholics Anonymous was named as such and we need to respect those who choose to remain so. I've been taught that what is said in the rooms....stays in the rooms. I know I certainly appreciate the people who think that way. It would have been even more difficult(and useless) for me to keep coming back if everyone else had practiced different principles.
Gossip was mentioned. Ugh. I have, on more than one occasion, wanted to completely quit AA because of vicious gossip. About others and about myself. In fact, I quit attending more than one meeting just to avoid the crap. I was lucky enough to have a couple of other more experienced members tell me how stupid I was being and that I needed to get used to reality!
Yep, we're a sick group.....I'm finally getting accustomed to the idea that if I'm gonna hang with sick people, I better get used to a little vomit!!!
Or learn to spew it back at 'em!!!!
Hey......I'm sick, too!!!!
Have a great nite/day/whatever....just have a great one! And thanks for letting me share.