Molly M. wrote:I know that he's not a bad kid, he's a kid with severe impulse control problems
When I read that... I thought of the dog that attacked my dog and almost killed her. Seems that the dog was not a bad dog... she was a dog with severe impulse control problems.
I guess another reason I thought of my dog incident, while relating to your experience, was -- I had previous knowledge, from previous experience -- that the dog had severe impulse control problems.... and, I had failed to take appropriate actions, based upon my previous experience.
Lately, in my own life -- I've been taking a second look at some of my previous experiences with people or animals -- that seem to have a severe impulse control problem. What I'm looking for is to see if perhaps those previous experiences were a red flag of caution for me -- and I zipped by the red flag without taking much notice (kind of like... deny them?).
I know that I can magnify a problem in my mind... and I can also minimalize a problem - depending on the desired perspective that I want to achieve. Sometimes ... the perspective that I'm attempting to achieve is not proportional to the experience - and, I'm possibly doing it -- as an easier, softer, more comfortable way - to deal with one of my problems. And, what I end up doing is making up an excuse -- in regards to the other person or animal -- for an easier way to deal with the problem.
Molly, I don't know if my experience in my situations will have any value to you in your situation or not.... I know that we don't need to live our lives in fear... but, that doesn't seem to stop us from reading warning labels and watching the news for storm forecasts - so that we can better deal with situations -- when the future becomes the present!