The hardest part of helping another alcoholic take their 5th Step -- is listening to it. Keep lots of popcorn and coffee available. It's the same thing that we do most every day -- one alcoholic talking with -- and listening to -- another alcoholic. Try to remember, that it's the other person who is doing all the work. We're just trying to be helpful. We want to be helpful because we've had them read the pages on the 4th and 5th Step -- and we've pointed out, in the book that they may never get over their drinking -- if they skip this vital Step.
The thing that qualifies us to help them with their 5th Step, is the same thing that qualifies us to help them with any of the Steps. We're sharing our experience -- our experience of taking the Step. As we took the Step, we gained experience and strength, and now we have something that can offer them hope, because they can see that our experience comes from "our doing" rather than our theorizing.
Whenever I'm in doubt about anything regarding recovery and the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, and my life -- I turn to my sponsor. I don't go to a religious person, a therapist, a doctor, a psychologist or a psychiatrist. (Unless my sponsor would suggest it
and, so far that hasn't happened, yet! ) Two of the reasons that I go to my sponsor is: 1. My primary interest is to stay sober. 2. My design for living is the 12 Steps. 3. In the A.A. way, I've discovered that sometimes we do things differently than other folks. The other folks don't usually understand "why" we do things differently... and, it's not even necessary for us to understand "why" we do things differently... because it works for us... "if we work it that way."
Learning to live sober -- for me -- was kind of like flying an airplane. I had never flown a plane -- and I still don't know how to fly one. If I wanted to learn to fly a plane -- I would want to learn from an experienced pilot who knows how to fly a plane!
To the new person -- they are looking to us because of our experience. We have lived sober. We are living sober. And, hopefully it's our physical sobriety and our emotional sobriety that has attracted them to us.
Drop the rock. Let go of the fear. Ask God for help. Read the Big Book. Read the 12 & 12. Ask your sponsor. Ask your A.A. friends. Then, just step up to the plate and "Do it!"
And, don't avoid your responsibility to the new person. It isn't you or me that's going to fix the person.
It's God doing it -- through the 12 Steps. If we had the power to fix anyone -- we would be using it on ourselves. The Power that we do have -- we can use to "help others." And, that's what we're doing... just being helpful.
The biggest problem that anyone can have with the 12 Steps -- is the "thinking about them!"
It's our actions -- that change our thinking.
1. Remember.... the Pioneers kept this thing simple enough that ANY drunk could do it!!!
2. Start listening to more 5th Steps!!! Then, you'll always be more comfortable with them. 3. Most everything starts with the first one. 4. Many of us alcoholics ... after we've done something once... could write a book on it, or be a pro at it!