This one jumped out at me, too...and I gotta say, it mixed inside-a me some. You're not dumb, stop acting that way. That has been said to me. U-huh...I admit, I have
"played dumb" or however you wanna put it on purpose, to suit...well, the moment? Me? It's the con, the liar, the cheat...do whatever you can get away with, just don't get caught--if you do.."act dumb". Then...what happens? Get all defensive when people actually treat me/talk to me like I don't know anything. Guess we do teach people how to treat us. By the same token, however...sometimes the way we talk is just the way we talk...shyness, fear, lack of confidence and how we feel about ourselves is a part of it. Another angle is "comfort zone"...meaning, each generation, each little culture, who I'm with...my mood...all depends on how I talk...personality--where I'm from. Sometimes, my "grammar"...well...I'll use the word ain't
, even though it ain't
in the dictionary...depending on who's in front of me, I might say: I didn't think I'd get the chance to see ya, or--I might say, I did not anticipate that I would actually get the opportunity to speak with you. Step 4 spells it out on paper why we might be apprehensive to say anything with some people...especially if they're going to 'edit' your sentences for you while you are speaking...correcting every little detail to the point where we end up feeling cornered and why say anything at all? Go by yourself, sometime, to any coffee shop, diner...whatever...have a coffee and just listen to how people converse with each other...are they monitoring how
the other person is speaking, or are they just having a conversation? Is your friend subconciously reminding you of someone from your childhood (teacher, for example, a parent or someone else) who always told you something like: if you keep talkin' that way, people are gonna think your stupid?
Around here, man...just talk...it's okay to let down your hair and just be
, y'know? Be yourself--even if you don't know who that is yet...we'll help ya figure it out
Nobody understands you more than one of us, and--from my own experience...even when I don't understand me yet. We don't care about spelling errors or if your hair is all just all that and all perfect
, or whatever. We just want 'cha to stick around, keep comin' back...and talk however is comfortable for you. Nobody's gonna mark ya, or grade ya...cuz there is no graduation...we just keep on keepin' on
Having said all-a that...I hope I wasn't steppin' outta line? I've been told to quit actin' stupid when...it has been no act, honestly have no explanation, don't know "what just happened" or why something happened the way it did. But, I do know where the misconception comes from cuz-a all the crap I did do--& lied about to get away with it. That's all about living amends. We're gonna screw up cuz we're human. We're lucky...we got ourselves a 12-step program to help us with life
. As in the words of another member: there isn't one person on this planet who can't benefit from a 12-step program...don't matter who ya are, what you are, or not if that be the case.
Stick with it, kids...it works if ya work it