My first sponsor used to poke fun and humor at me, with stuff like:
When I asked him "What's the 13th Step?"
He replied: "It's like this... you go meet a girl and you say Hi! My name is Dallas! I'm alcoholic! I suffer from untreated alcoholism, I lie, I cheat, I steal, I'm dishonest, I suffer from severe emotional and mental twists, I'm extremely moody, unable to stay happy, I dwell on misery, I have problems with my relationships, I can't make a good living, everything I touch turns to disaster and my life really is unmanageable --- wanna share your life with me?"
He said, "If she says yes... you know that you've met someone who is sick enough to desparately want what you are trying to get rid of!"
Another time, when talking with him about "early relationships" he said to me:
"Dallas... when you go to the grocery store... and you cruise through the produce section... are you automatically attracted to the bruised fruit and wilted vegetables? Is that what you're really looking for? If you don't do that with your fruit and vegetables... why are you so interested in doing that with your life?"
Sometimes, he would say to me "Two sickies do not make a wellie!"
And, now that I'm thinking of this... I'm reminded of page 52, BB: which describes for me, when I was new... "my life had become unmanageable"...
"We were having trouble with our personal relationships, we couldn't control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn't make a (or... keep a... good...) living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn't seem to be of real help to other people --" (insert was mine)
That pretty much described me when I was new!
It is true... that suggestions like "no relationships in the first year" is not part of the A.A. program, nor is it in the Book, Alcoholics Anonymous... but neither is "Go to meetings" or "Don't drink between meetings" or "Get a sponsor" or "Call your sponsor"... in the Big Book!
I've discovered that there are many good and healthy suggestions... that are simply not in the book, nor are they a part of the A.A. program.
There are a few sentences in the Big Book that "might" cover some of the good suggestions... and it's found on page 164, in "A Vision For You" (And, again... maybe they don't). It is:
"Our book is meant to be suggestive only. We realize that we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick. The answers will come, if your own house is in order. But obviously you cannot transmit something you haven't got. See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the Great Fact for us."