haven't heard from boyfriend who is in rehab for two weeks

[Robby]

My boyfriend and I got sober the same day. I did outpatient and now do AA and he is inpatient by manner of the state taking away his rights and he consented so is in rehab - if he does not comply with the rules there (as he has not in three other rehabs) he has to go to jail. I talked with him every other day for his first 30 days and now I have not heard from him in two weeks. He gets out in two weeks and I have more anxiety every day about why he hasn't talked to me. Of course my alcoholic mind is running wild, but I keep talking to my sponsor and going to meetings and doing my fourth step and reading the book, however fear continues to invade my thoughts. Any thoughts anyone?
Robby

[Dallas]

but I keep talking to my sponsor and going to meetings and doing my fourth step and reading the book

Hello Robby, and welcome to the site.

It looks like you're taking the right actions. My head, when I was sober about the same amount of time as you, and most others that I know -- who had about the same time sober as you -- we all reacted pretty much the same way -- lots of fear based panic style worry mongering wild thinking going on. I think that might be fairly normal for most of us. It will change and it will get better.

What's really cool in your situation -- is the actions you are taking!!!

More than likely -- everything is going to be okay for you. I wish I could promise more. I can promise that you'll never have to pick up a drink again in you hang in there and keep doing what you're doing!!!

Best regards to you,

Dallas

[anniemac]

Hi Robby,

Glad to have you here! I know it's real hard to not think alot about those we love, especially at a time when our lives are undergoing so much change. I did a lot of obsessing about my husband and our relationship when I was newly sober. I hated it when my sponsor told me to keep the focus on myself, and to walk over the bodies, and all of that. HATED it. But I have to tell you, she was right. It was very important for me to stay focused on me because worrying about my marriage was a great way to distract myself (even though I wasn't intentionally distracting myself) and also a way to spin out of control and plunge downward and toward a drink.

Given time, our relationship ended up just fine. But if I didn't focus solely on myself, like my life depended on it, whether I had a marriage or not would have been irrelevant.

Keep putting one foot in front of the other - We can't always see the whole picture and understand why things are as they are...but my experience is that we, or at least I, always get what I need.