It helps me to remember -- that it's me that needs God's help -- and, that God doesn't need my help.
I remember hearing a spiritual guy once talking about a story -- where one of God's kids was doing some plowing with a mule. And, God wanted His kid that was plowing with the mule to go visit some of His other kids -- and carry a message to them.
The kid that was plowing didn't want to go carry the message to the other kids. He was balking. The kid didn't like the other kids -- and he knew the other kids wouldn't listen anyway -- even if he did tell them the message was from God.
So -- the kid says "Nope!!! I'm not going to go carry that message to those kids God! For one thing -- they won't listen to me! And, another thing -- You'll probably change Your mind about what's going to happen to them if they don't listen to Your message!!! So -- I'm not going!!!"
The story goes -- that the mule turned around and looked at the balking kid and started telling him -- the same message that God wanted the kid to go tell to the other kids!!!
The bottomline was -- if the mule could do the talking -- God didn't need His kid to go carry the message -- the mule could do it! The kid had an opportunity to do something for God! And, God could have used the mule!
What I learned from that story was -- if God wants me to do something -- it's an opportunity for me -- not an opportunity for God. God doesn't need me -- I need God. And, if God can get the job done through a jackass -- why is He allowing me do the job?
He's allowing me to do the job -- because it will help me -- not because it will help Him. I was the one who ask Him for help -- He didn't ask me for help. So sometimes -- I need to remember, willing or not -- it's a privilege for me -- if God lets me do something for Him.
I asked God to help me stay sober. He gave me some tools and gave me a job. If I'm not using the tools that He gave me -- to do the job that He's letting me do (which will help me and not help God) -- then, I need to suit up, show up and just do the job, whether I like it or not!!!
I don't have to like His other kids. I don't have to like what they do. But, if I want to stay sober (and I do) -- and get the help that I need to get -- then I've got to be there to give the kind of help that His other kids needs.
It took me a long time to figure that one out. So I was told that my "figure-outter" was broke -- and just go do it anyway -- whether I figured it out or not. And, so far -- it's worked for me!
Sober, happy, joyous and free -- That's what God wants for me. And, I can have it -- "if" I trust God (meaning: to do the work whether I understand or not, believe it or not, and regardless of whether I want to do it or not...just do it! ), and, clean my own house -- and, leave the other kids house alone -- and, try to be helpful to them!
My real purpose is to serve -- not to be served. And, my guiding principle has become to give -- rather than to receive.
Thanks for letting me be here!!!!!!!
P.S. Praying for God's kids -- who are being and doing like I don't want them to do -- does nothing but irritate the heck out of me!!!
So -- God loved me enough and understood me enough that He made a special option just for me!!! I don't have to pray for them -- and I don't have to pray that they get anything. I only have to pray "for the knowledge of His will for me
-- and the power to carry that out
." And, that works for me -- MUCH BETTER than me asking God to do something for someone.
To be or not to be?
Where God wants me to be and where I want to be are not always the same place to be!