- I have a question

I have a question




Discussions related to 12 Step Recovery and Treatment

I have a question

Postby 918gma » Mon Sep 19, 2005 4:42 am

I hope this doesn't turn out to be another one of those hot topics. But none the less here goes.

What do you do when some one elses chaos is having a direct impact on your life. I don't own any part in it, and thus far I haven't acted on it. I am trying not to react to it. I am doing my step work and using my higher power. Is there any more I should be doing.
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Re: I have a question

Postby Dallas » Mon Sep 19, 2005 5:36 am

918gma wrote: I am doing my step work and using my higher power. Is there any more I should be doing.


My question to you: Do you need more than 12 Steps and a bigger God?
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No

Postby 918gma » Tue Sep 20, 2005 5:46 am

I'm not sure I understand your question. I think you're saying it's working, leave it alone. Which I understand.
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Postby Dallas » Tue Sep 20, 2005 8:05 am

As far as I can tell, for me, the 12 Steps and God is all there is. That is AA, and that is AA's Design for Living. It's enough for me. :lol:

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Postby crickit » Tue Sep 20, 2005 3:36 pm

What do you do when some one elses chaos is having a direct impact on your life. I don't own any part in it, and thus far I haven't acted on it. I am trying not to react to it. I am doing my step work and using my higher power. Is there any more I should be doing.


When you say 'someone elses chaos is having a direct impact on my life' , what exactly do you mean.

In my oppinion, things that happen to the people close to us are going to affect us. Just as we can be happy for someone when something good is happening, we can be sad for them when something bad is happening. We do not live in a vacuum. What's most important is how we deal with those feelings. The 12 steps helps us to learn not to let our feelings drive us back to the bottle. This doesn't mean we ignore the feelings or run away from situations that are upsetting to us. What would god have us do??

You say you don't own any part of it so you haven't acted on it and you are trying not to react to it. What ever it is, it's already effecting you because you are asking the question. The BB teaches us to be willing to help out when needed without expectations of something in return. I think, if there is something you can do to help, then do it. It it will cause more chaos to become involved, then stay out of it.

Here goes one of my examples LOL.

It saddens my heart everytime I hear or see anything about the victims of the flooding in New Orleans. I have no part in this because I'm up in Canada. I can choose to ignor it by turning the T.V. or not reading the papers or listening the news or I can see if there is anything I can do to help. I have a very limited income so I can't send any money without causing some stress for myself so instead, because I use to work with Red Cross, I have contacted them to volenteer in there office sorting out the donations that come in. The only thing that costs me is time and it frees up the girls to continue with their regular work.

Ignoring the bad things that happen in life doesn't make it go away. I think I would feel worse if I thought I could have done something and didn't.

Just my oppinion :)
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Thanks

Postby 918gma » Tue Sep 20, 2005 4:05 pm

I know your right about helping out where you can. I can see that. My MO has always been, help till it hurts. Then I get mad and blow up. I have no limits or boundries. I set myself up to get in over my head. That's what I'm afraid of.

I had a real good meeting after the meeting last night with a dear friend. I was talking to him about it, and he said I shouldn't be setting my own boundries. I should be learning my boundries from my higher power. If I truly have the right motives, he will show me how far to go and when to stop, to avoid setting my self up. That made good sence to me, and so do you.

My reaction to your example is that I too would love to help any way I could, but I am so tied up with family right now, I can't even spare time. I want to do it all, and the reality is that I can't. That's part of why my life is unmanagible. I don't have the common scence to know my own limits. So once again I turn it over and just do the foot work that he puts in front of me.

I need to stop second guessing my higher power and just do the things he sets in front of me to do. It's a trust issue. And trust is some thing I'm just not good at yet. I'm better, but have a long ways to go. Thanks for sharing. Crazy
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Postby crickit » Tue Sep 20, 2005 4:14 pm

I should be learning my boundries from my higher power. If I truly have the right motives, he will show me how far to go and when to stop, to avoid setting my self up.


How true. I guess that's why we recite the serenity poem as often as we do LOL.

Definately don't take on more than you can handle. I use to constantly be trying to help everyone else and leaving myself totally drained. Having MS put a stop to that.

Make sure you squeeze in time for just you everyday. It makes the world of difference.

BB
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two words

Postby Rusty Zipper » Tue Sep 20, 2005 7:45 pm

hey 9! ... two words Powerless, and Grace :wink:
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