I'm so sorry for what you are going through, I'm can't say I have been through It but I do know that kids can break your heart more than anyone can, especially when you are sober and busting your butt to try to do the right thing.
I thought I may start with a little of my experience. If I am upset with some one even if I don't feel like I am wrong, I still need to ask myself if I was selfish, dishonest, resentful or fearful. I know it says in the book that resentment is the "number one' offender' It destroys more alcoholic than anything else. I know you may have feelings of resentment of her not letting you see her son, but I'm wondering if it could be more resentment there? Maybe you fell like that now that you are sober, she should trust you again. Or maybe its kind of hard to handle that she seems to be wealthy, or at least doing well for herself. I know for me I have the hardest time with my family, not others, I have a brother who could by heaven if he wanted to and his daughter ( my niece ) wont even speak to me at family gatherings, and they both went on my 4th step. Today I know that I cant do anything to change their minds about me, there is nothing I'm going to do to get my niece to bring her new baby to my house, she doesn't trust me, and to tell you the truth I don't blame her, I did a lot of things in my life for people not to trust me, but it does me no good at all to get disturbed about it, all that does is messes with my sobriety, and if I do that then I wont have to worry about who trust me or likes me, cause I wont be around to see it.
As far as my Strength goes, I need to get to a meeting , help another alcoholic, call my sponsor, read the BB, listen to some AA tapes, anything not to let my crazy alcoholic mind take over. Get out of my own head.
And for my Hope, I know that things work them self out, if we continue our spiritual life, If I stop doing the things that gave me the spiritual life, the steps, the BB, meetings, sponsor, helping others, praying etc, then I become disturbed about something and fixing what is disturbing me doesn't do the trick, picking back up my spiritual tools is what does the trick for me. I do know that there is hope for you Tina, I have had things that come up that feels like it is going to rip me into while I have been sober, and I call my sponsor and I see that it is me that needs the work, not the people or the thing I thought.
I hope you don't feel like I have taken what your going thought lightly, I can only imagine what you are, I know that children hit your heart hard. but in my ES&H if I do what my book says, things just start falling into place.
I hope you are not beating your self up for things is the past, just tring your best to change you.
Hang in there girl, we are all with you.