Step 10: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
I have been thinking about this step a lot lately, and just how important it is in my life today as a member of AA and society as a whole. I didn't see it on the forum under the 12 steps, so I thought I would ask all of you out there who trudge the Road of Happy Destiny, how do you do step 10 and do you do step 10 every day?
I have been reading page 83-88 three time a day for the last few days, and I think I may just now get the point of of it in my life.
Yesterday, I was blessed to be one of 4 who took a meeting to a gentleman who has 20+ years in the program, and he is dying of lung cancer, I'm not a Dr. but I would say he wont be with us much longer.
He and his wife shared a little about dying, but not in the way I had expected, they both had a shine in their eyes as they did. His wife said he will be home before I will but I know he will be waiting for me when I get there, I was overwhelmed by the love and peace she had. That was such a humbling day for me, two people who I thought would have been crying and hurting, were two of the most peaceful people I have ever met. When I got home I was reading step 10 and 11 and I thought, that's why, If I do step 10 everyday of my life, I will have peace, I will stop blaming anyone, I will learn to trust in my God completely, I will learn to live without fear, I will learn, that to do any of this ,I have to help someone else and learn love and tolerance for all. Man how could you not be at peace with that in your life.
I have always loved the 9Th step promises, but it says we will be amazed before we are half way through (if we are painstaking) with step 9. I have been caught up on those promises since the day I walked into a meeting. I was thinking they would happen by osmosis I guess, I also think I overlooked the part about "they will always materialize if we work for them.'
In my mind step 10 is where I learned HOW to work for them.
I was driving to pick up my mom last night from a trip, and I was running late so I was speeding, and I was pulled over (no warrants & I was legal
) and the policeman gave me a ticket, then ask me to step out of the car, ask if I had been drinking, and I said 'not in 2 months' he ask if he could search the car and I said sure and ask him if he wanted me to open the trunk. So they searched the car and said "you have a long record, did you know that?' I said "yes, I do that is why I haven't had a drink in two months" So he handed me my ticket and I said I was sorry that I had caused them any trouble
, and I meant it. So I called my mom and told her I was going to be even more late, and she was pissed off bad, not at me at the police, for treating me that way, and I told her I was the one speeding, I was the one who had the DWI's on my record and everything else that may have shown up. Why was she mad at them for doing there job, if I was someone else, they may have got a drunk driver off the road and save a life or two. AND I MEANT IT, me, I used to hate cops, and in a calm way I took responsibility for what I had done now and in the past, without anger at them or myself. That is in the 9Th step promises, but I had to be applying step 10 in order for it to happen. I can't say I will handle it that way every time something bad comes up, but I am learning, "what we really have is a daily reprieve contingent of the maintenance of our spiritual condition."
These step continue to amaze me, and I continue to be amazed when I see them and God working through me. What a GREAT program.
Thanks for letting me share.