- My AA Sponsor

My AA Sponsor




Discussions related to Sponsors, Sponsoring, Working with others,

My AA Sponsor

Postby Dallas » Mon Oct 17, 2005 3:04 pm

My Sponsor



It’s just amazing, the benefits that are available to me, with a simple phone call to my Sponsor. It’s also amazing the horrific misery that’s available to me when I miss talking with my Sponsor!

My life is going okay today. No problems today to write about. So, I’d like to use this space to share how grateful I am to have my AA Sponsor in my life. He has taught me things and instilled in me the things that I have never been able to accomplish on my own or in any other way.

Some of the things that I’d like to mention, that have benefited me so immensely, that I’ve gotten from my Sponsor are:

1. The importance of having a good Sponsor and following his directions:

I’ve come to believe that this is one of the most vital steps an alcoholic of my type can take to maintain sobriety or for his life to get better, without spending years of relapse and possible death as a result of experimenting to find the solution to problems.

2. Structure and discipline:

I had better develop and maintain structure and discipline in my life, along with having a good Sponsor, or I’m going to be in some deep doo doo when the times in life come when my world seems to come apart at the seams, and my head can’t make up it’s mind if it’s going to implode or explode! The structure and discipline can help me make it until the Calvary arrives, especially when the prayers don’t seem to be working, and when it seems like God is on vacation.

It seems odd, how the Creator of the Universe can suggest that I do something, and I’ll procrastinate until life becomes unbearable without change. Yet, I’ve learned that when my Sponsor suggests something, I had better jump to it without procrastination, or unbearable misery is swift and certain to follow. Perhaps, the Creator uses my Sponsor to get through to me? Maybe someday I'll have the answer to that question, but the answer isn't important for now. It's just important that I listen and do.

My Sponsor does not inflict the unbearable misery (even though he could) :lol:, but it’s as if Life is speaking to me first-hand with a final warning of things to come, both swift and certain, when I fail to follow my Sponsors suggestions. And, when I do follow the directions, my life seems to get better and better.

I would just like to thank my Sponsor for all that he has done for me, all that he does for me, and for all that he does for Alcoholics Anonymous.

In gratitude,

Dallas B.
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Postby rainy » Sat Feb 11, 2006 1:11 am

Hi Dallas, just wanted to share about my sponsor. My sponsor of 18yrs passed away on tues (7/2/06). He had cancer and died in hospital. He had been sober for 28yrs. I was very priviliged to have his help and support for all these years. I believe my God works through people and puts the right people in my path, he certainly did that with my sponsor.
I was very blessed to be able to give back just a little to him, by being there for him while he was in the hospital, and now by being there for his wife of 58yrs. I am physically going to miss him, but his spirit will always be with me. His funeral is next wednesday.
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Postby Dallas » Sat Feb 11, 2006 3:53 am

Rainy, thank you for sharing.

My heart and my thoughts are with you. I can only imagine both the sense and the reality of the loss. And, I believe I understand what you mean. Some of us have been extremely fortunate to have had the opportunity to have exceptional AA's who have taken us by the hand and shown us how to stay on the road to happy destiny.

Dallas
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Postby DebbieV » Thu Aug 23, 2007 12:16 am

Dallas wrote:
My life is going okay today. No problems today to write about. So, I’d like to use this space to share how grateful I am to have my AA Sponsor in my life. He has taught me things and instilled in me the things that I have never been able to accomplish on my own or in any other way.


I'm going to read your mind again Dallas and say that I'm sure you feel the same way today about your sponsor as you did two years ago when you posted this. So out of date as it may be, I would like to respond and say a few things about my sponsor.

1. The importance of having a good Sponsor and following his directions:

That is so true for me, and so hard all at the same time, I don't know how and don't like to follow directions at all. I was blessed with a sponsor who takes the time, and sometimes it is a lot of time, to go step by step in teaching me how to follow directions, with more patience than I have ever seen in anyone. Has me do things I don't understand, little things like: make a to do list and put down 1.Get up 2.Pray 3.Read your BB. 4.Brush teeth 5.Call me 6.Go to a meeting. If you feel restless, irritable or discontent, go back to bed and start with 1 again. My to do list is a little different today, all but the first 3., because slowly I am learning to follow directions. I didn't understand why I had to do this when I first got a sponsor. Why do I have to do all this stuff that doesn't seem like it has a thing to do with staying sober? We do more than just stop drinking, we start living, and I didn't know how to do that without a Bud in my hand. So my sponsor taught, still teaching, me to put one foot in front of the other, even if they are baby steps, every day, and to never let up on the actions

2. Structure and discipline:

Oh good God I had no structure or discipline in my life, I think I may have a little now, but not like my sponsor. The epitome of structure and discipline. You can see God working right before your eyes, sometime it feels like you are listening to God himself. Man I am in awe... that's the deal for me, I want to learn all that I can, so I can become the same way, in my own way and someday pass it on to more and more people.. So I have to follow directions to learn how to be structured and disciplined. I could not have ask for a more kind, loving, big book teaching, hard-ass at times, push when I need it, let up when I need it, Sponsor if God would have chosen for me. (and I do think he did) Has sat on the phone and saved my life, let me cry until I couldn't cry any longer, told me I was not stupid, when that is all I could feel about myself, got me to believe if I worked this program, there isn't anything I couldn't do: Go back to college, have a career and be happy, be sane, be sober, be free forever...IF I FOLLOW THE BOOKS DIRECTIONS, So I try and today life is better than it has ever been, I give the credit to my sponsor.......yes all of it, because now I have a God, I know how to put one foot in front of the other, I know how to pray, I have done my steps and continue to do them daily, I have tools to use when I let myself start thinking too much, I understand God-reliance instead of Debbie-reliance.. Because I am being taught by a wonderful sponsor.

Many thanks to all the sponsors out there... I have said it before and I will say it many more times.....Much thanks to mine....and a big thanks to all of you who take the time to carry the message and pass it on. :D :D

Thanks for letting me take up so much room,

Deb
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Postby Dallas » Sat Sep 01, 2007 6:16 pm

When I look at my own weaknesses and limitations -- and I consider the fact that I’m human, and not-God, and that I seem to have this neurotic obsession to achieve perfection in my world – it causes me to wonder how much pressure that I can be placing on others – when I look at their outsides – and compare them with my insides – and expect them to be the perfect examples of my own perceptions of perfection.

When Bill Wilson, was experiencing the paralyzing and pitiful, painful and incomprehensible depths of a major depression – it was at a time, when it seemed to him – that all of A.A. was looking to him to be perfect -- in all areas of his life. After all, he was “Mister Xâ€
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Postby DebbieV » Sat Sep 01, 2007 6:49 pm

I think for me, I know my sponsor can't and won't ever be perfect....I think they nailed the last guy to a cross that was.
But a newcomer and may be even some old-timers, find it necessary to look up to their sponsors. We came into this program scared. Most of us alone, because we had ruined every relationship we had been in. Not like being told what to do. No faith in anything. Knocked down, looking for a hand to grab onto to pull us up. Then hopefully that hand is our sponsors hand. And I for one felt like maybe it was possible to stop hurting, maybe this person has what it take to show me how to stop drinking and be happy with myself for a change.
I often think of myself as a baby. I take baby steps, I am a baby in this program, I have tantrums like a baby......So, when I look at my sponsor, I am looking up......I am looking for help, because I am a baby, and sponsors are hopefully more qualified to handle the things that babies cant.....I think as I grow and grow up, in this program, the less I will have to depend, but I think as long as there are sponsors out there, alcoholics will always need them and look up to them.
I need someone to trust, have faith in, look up to, work towards, depend on, help me, tell me when I am messing up, help me find my way back when I get lost......too many things to list. Does that mean I think my sponsor is perfect? Hell no, I think my sponsor may have been perfect at drinking till life was screwed up....then went to AA and got a sponsor....not perfect in any other way......Does my sponsor have God, have what I want, work a great program, love to help people, willing to go to any lengths to help me and others like me, help the fellowship..even when it gets hard? Yes.....My sponsor is perfect for me....not a perfect person.
Dallas may be your sponsor knows he is not perfect....just perfect for you.

That's just how this alcoholic sees it.

Debbie
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Postby Dallas » Sat Sep 01, 2007 6:57 pm

Thank you for sharing -- Debbie.

I appreciate you and your messages!

Dallas
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Postby Dallas » Sat Sep 01, 2007 9:47 pm

Please see...

A sponsors primary responsibility
www.step12.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=5094#5094

For additional information on the responsibilities, requirements and qualifications of an A.A. Sponsor.
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Postby Don G. » Sun Sep 02, 2007 1:26 am

Dallas, thanks for the great articles. I usually just cruise through here reading the new things that you write about and I'm happy to see you writing more lately. Awesome stuff. The article above about limitations is some heavy meat for thought. Keep up the great work brother. It's always a pleasure to read your stuff and to know that you are still serving the Fellowship. Stay on the firing lines. We need you.

Don
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Postby Dallas » Sun Sep 02, 2007 12:31 pm

Don, since I can't see you -- I don't know if that's a real compliment or if you are laughing at me! :lol: One way for me to come up with something decent -- is to steal it from you! :wink:

Thanks for all of your help.

Don, I've edited this message of mine to remove the comment that you said wasn't funny. I still have a hard time accepting compliments and I'm sensitive. I was just trying to be funny like you -- because your humor has always been a tremendous aid to my recovery.... and I admit that I am not very funny. Will you accept my amends?

Dallas
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