- Newbie here......Experiencing Fear after 5 yrs sober.....

Newbie here......Experiencing Fear after 5 yrs sober.....




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Newbie here......Experiencing Fear after 5 yrs sober.....

Postby Paneristi » Wed Sep 21, 2005 12:14 pm

Hi Im new here...I have been sober 5 yrs and all's going well.
I have remarried after a failed marriage - my fault largely.....and just had a baby ...well my wife has.
I have a work colleague who is driving me nuts...
She is in my division and is trying to look the big shot and to keep me out of the picture.
I have for the past year been in a developmental role and she's in ID ...she is - (i think after my job)...I am feeling resentful, fearsome, anxiety...and I think she sees it..
I have vcastly more experience than her and she's disliked by everyone.
I cant stand confrontation and sti there feeling anger and frustration..
I have not felt like this since i got sober....
Can anyone suggest a course of action other than a Step 4 on it which I plan to do with my sponsor...moreso how do I handle her.
She selectively wants to handle jobs that will make her look good and she is meant to be a team player, and when the going looks good she will try her best to keep me out by going behind my back.
Her mother is a gyromancer and Im sure she is doing all kinds of hocus pocus --- now Im really getting paranoid...PLEASE HELP !!!!!!!
Paneristi
 
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Postby Dallas » Wed Sep 21, 2005 1:13 pm

Hey Friend, Welcome to the Forum! Thank you for sharing your experience with us.

I’ve had a few experiences like you’re having in sobriety and I can only share what I did that worked for me.

I, like you, have had a few sober-days-in-a-row in AA. My sobriety date is November 14th, 1986. The only reason I mention that… is to draw attention to the fact that, even being sober for a while… problems still come up, life doesn’t stop, it just begins once we are sober, and we still have one solution that has worked on any and all problems that I’ve ever had in sobriety.

I take people through the 12 Steps regularly. I do my Steps 10-12, daily. And, at least once a year, or sooner, if need be, I re-visit all 12 Steps on whatever is bothering me. With practice and experience, I can usually do all 12 (especially since I don’t have tons of garbage to clean up) I can get through them in a few hours. And, I only mention that, because, maybe, someone may have the same experience that I have had… regardless of how active we become in AA, and regardless of how religiously we practice the 12 Steps, stuff can creep up on us, and we are unaware that it creeped up on us!

Here is one experience that I’ll share. Recently, I was in a bad spot and couldn’t figure out how I got into it. I needed relief “yesterdayâ€
Dallas
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Thanks Dallas.........just what I needed...I'm

Postby Paneristi » Wed Sep 21, 2005 2:05 pm

Thanks so much- Im on "night-duty " with our new baby 1 week old so I will get on to it now.......cheers
I REALLY appreciate your replying in such an exhaustive manner...Ill definitely be back here soon...
Must get to a meeting too.
Marvelous/
Paneristi
Paneristi
 
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Location: Hong Kong

welcome

Postby Rusty Zipper » Wed Sep 21, 2005 4:02 pm

Paneristi, welcome to Step-12! KCB happened to stop home for a bit. came online to see whats up. was gunna post a reply later. saw a PM, and now the time is right to reply. Hey Paner, ize smell'n a few character flaws around here huh?... hum!, lets see, mabe a little "Pride", a smidgen of "Ego" maybe a dash of "Sloth" now you fessed up to this prob. why not take these flaws, and turn them into assets? let her do what shes doing. go on with your life. enjoy your new offspring, your wife, your sobriety, this site. the good will win. even if she get your job. it might come to bite her in the ass in the end. hey, throw a little false pride around. i'll work a little harder, and show the big cheese's what i can really do. plenty of options. Dallas mentioned going thru the steps again, why not? what harm can it do? cast out that old fear based thinking. that what we drank for. stay in the now, you stil have your job. if you loose it, yup! that the way its sposed to be. member you not drink today, thats what its all about right? ... i'm writing this way, cuz this morning something happened to me that really put my inner self into another demension. all for the good. took some flaws, and realy turned them into assets. what a mind trip that was. mabe i post on it later. anyway Panner, not to fret, she prob, not get job, poeple will see her tru self, and all will be well! whatever the outcome. remember that thing called Grace.!... i run now, congrats on baby, welcome to site, and best wishes to you our new friend! xo Rusty :wink:
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Another welcome and maybe another perspective

Postby 918gma » Wed Sep 21, 2005 4:40 pm

Work was a major issue with me when I first got sober. The reckage of my past was nothing less than flaming ashes. Hot spots of resentments that my actions created in other people.

I also had the resentments and fears that some one else was trying to one up me. One of the things that helped me, I found in the big book starting on page 544. It's a story called Fredom from Bondage. Towards the end of the story, she talks about a resentment that she carried against her own mother. He had read an artical about resentment, in which prayer was sugested. For the next two weeks he prayed for his mother. Asking his higher power to give his mother all the things she had been given. At first she didn't mean a word she said, but gradually the resentment was lifted and she actually meant what she said, thus freeing herself from the bondage of that resentment.

Another thing I have learned is that we as alcoholcis don't always think right. What I mean by that is that we decide what we think others are thinking based on our own thought process. That at one time is what got us drunk in the first place. I hope this has helped some.

Any way welcome to the forum, I hope you get as much out of it as I have. And thank you for sharing, it reminds me that I have a soultion for my own resentments that I know will work if I just take action.
918gma
 
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Thanks for that ...

Postby Paneristi » Thu Sep 22, 2005 12:04 pm

Wow you are all marvelous
Did the steps
Redid inventory..tons of issued with my EGO Pride and some..
Page 53 in the 12+12 was brilliant...
went to a mtg tonight with my sponsor- a 12 step mtg- step 3....
Kool ...
My whole trouble had been the misuse of willpower....I had tried to bombard my problems with it instead of attempting to bring it into agreement with Gods intention for me
Wow did that burn a hole in my book...
Thanks Rusty and 918 gma you too Dallas...
I have also resolved to get my meetings in more frequently....
Our baby was born on the 12th ...Maya...means LOVE in Sandscrit...ahhh !
Thanks all, Ill be back.
Thanks for letting me share and for your LOVE...
Paneristi
 
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Location: Hong Kong

Postby Rusty Zipper » Thu Sep 22, 2005 12:10 pm

good morn, Paner! great job, you the AA bomb gots to go not be slothfull :lol: ttulater, KCB have non-stress day :wink: xo The Zip
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Zipper

Postby Paneristi » Thu Sep 22, 2005 12:21 pm

Hey Zipper...
Sloth was definitely one of my deadly sins..always too busy to not attend a Mtg...gotta keep that in check...thanks again Zip...
Paneristi
 
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Postby crickit » Thu Sep 22, 2005 4:04 pm

Welcome to the forum Pan. You've already been given some great advise and it looks like you've already taken the steps you needed to take so GREAT JOB.

I have for the past year been in a developmental role and she's in ID ...she is - (i think after my job)...I am feeling resentful, fearsome, anxiety...and I think she sees it..
I have vcastly more experience than her and she's disliked by everyone.


This may sound too simplistic but I have found that by changing my perception of things I am able to change the way I feel about specific situations.

In your case, it doesn't sound like you are at any kind of risk of losing your job to her. Allow her some tollerance. She is not as lucky as we are. We have found the tools in AA to overcome our own ego....she hasn't. Trust that our higher power will guide us to appropriate actions. Nothing you do is going to force her to do her own inventory so concentrate on your own. Do the best job you can do and continue to be joyous, happy and free. Don't miss a second of joy with your new baby.

HAPPY 24 HOURS
Crickit
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Good stuff

Postby Paneristi » Fri Sep 23, 2005 2:05 am

thanks for that-nicely put
:lol:
Paneristi
 
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