- As I learn about who I am

As I learn about who I am




Discussions related to 12 Step Recovery and Treatment

As I learn about who I am

Postby 918gma » Sun Oct 02, 2005 6:21 am

I have made many discoveries about myself in sobriety that have not been easy to learn. Many of which are about character defects. Egotistical, yet insecure. Controll freak that can't controll any thing. Proud with little to be proud of. Mostly it's all about me, yet I allow mysef to be used by others, ever playing the victim. The big Book discribes us act directors of life. My Sponsor calls me a drama queen yet I'm not an actress. You see I don't make decisions so I leave them lying around for them to make themselves or some one else to pick them up and make them for me. Then I can react. I am a great reactress. This isn't being hard on myself or using my hammer again, it's just accepting the truth. Before I can truley turn some thing I can't controll over to my high power I have to understand what it is I am turning over. I turned my life over, and did the steps and now that the garbage is falling away I am discovering the qinks in my armor, so now I can turn them over and learn how to live without them. Some one once said that eventually your character defects can be turned around to be used in a positive manor. I am not sure how that works yet. I will have to see. I miss every one on the forum. I hope to hear from you soon
918gma
 
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Joined: Fri Jul 29, 2005 4:25 pm
Location: Arizona

Postby crickit » Mon Oct 03, 2005 5:07 pm

Before I can truley turn some thing I can't controll over to my high power I have to understand what it is I am turning over.


Great post GMA. You're doing a great job. Sometimes recognizing our defects is the hard part. There must be a happy medium to controlling everything and not making decissions period. Let me know when you figure it out LOL.

BB
Crickit
crickit
 
Posts: 132
Joined: Sun Jul 31, 2005 5:26 pm
Location: Ontario, Canada


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