My experience has been that the A.A. Daily Inventories -- Step Ten, has been the one tool that I use most often that produces the greatest benefits for my life. It helps me dissolve my emotional disturbances. It helps me to grow in personal understanding and effectiveness. It helps me to make spiritual progress. It also helps me to gain a better understanding of others â€“ and it helps me to better understand why they do what they do â€“ that so often hurts my feelings â€“ which will cause me to feel disturbed.
Bill W., wrote in the 12 & 12, page 90, on Step 10 wrote: It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us. If somebody hurts us and we are sore, we are in the wrong also. But are there no exceptions to this rule? What about "justifiable" anger? If somebody cheats us, aren't we entitled to be mad? Can't we be properly angry with self-righteous folk? For us of A.A. these are dangerous exceptions. We have found that justified anger ought to be left to those better qualified to handle it.
Few people have been more victimized by resentments than have we alcoholics. It mattered little whether our resentments were justified or not. A burst of temper could spoil a day, and a well-nursed grudge could make us miserably ineffective. Nor were we ever skillful in separating justified from unjustified anger. As we saw it, our wrath was always justified. Anger, that occasional luxury of more balanced people, could keep us on an emotional jag indefinitely. These emotional "dry benders" often led straight to the bottle. Other kinds of disturbances--jealousy, envy, self-pity, or hurt pride--did the same thing.
When I was less experienced with A.A.â€™s Way of Life â€“ I used to get resentful at the A.A. Way of Life! It seemed as though it was always picking on me! Making me out to be the bad guy in all situations â€“ and I would wonder, â€œhow can this negativity directed towards self â€“ bring any kind of positive results?â€