Discussions related to 12 Step Recovery and Treatment
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I have made many discoveries about myself in sobriety that have not been easy to learn. Many of which are about character defects. Egotistical, yet insecure. Controll freak that can't controll any thing. Proud with little to be proud of. Mostly it's all about me, yet I allow mysef to be used by others, ever playing the victim. The big Book discribes us act directors of life. My Sponsor calls me a drama queen yet I'm not an actress. You see I don't make decisions so I leave them lying around for them to make themselves or some one else to pick them up and make them for me. Then I can react. I am a great reactress. This isn't being hard on myself or using my hammer again, it's just accepting the truth. Before I can truley turn some thing I can't controll over to my high power I have to understand what it is I am turning over. I turned my life over, and did the steps and now that the garbage is falling away I am discovering the qinks in my armor, so now I can turn them over and learn how to live without them. Some one once said that eventually your character defects can be turned around to be used in a positive manor. I am not sure how that works yet. I will have to see. I miss every one on the forum. I hope to hear from you soon
Before I can truley turn some thing I can't controll over to my high power I have to understand what it is I am turning over.
Great post GMA. You're doing a great job. Sometimes recognizing our defects is the hard part. There must be a happy medium to controlling everything and not making decissions period. Let me know when you figure it out LOL.
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