Hello to all.....my name is Cathy

This is for alcoholics and addicts in 12 Step Recovery. Introduce yourself or read introductions from others!
Posts: 33
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 11:17 pm

Hello to all.....my name is Cathy

Postby new2this » Thu Oct 06, 2005 2:56 am

Hi to all!

Great to meet all of you that I haven't talked to before, Linda, Jim, Drew and all the rest and great to hear from those I have been talking to! :D

My name is Cathy, and I'm an alcoholic.

Since this is the 'introductions forum' I guess I have to share a little about me, so here it goes....A year ago I was forced into this program by a short-sighted judge who simply didn't understand that AA couldn't help someone like me. :x

I've been in the program a year now, but I haven't been sober that long. I just got to 10 months last week.

You hear some people say that they knew that they were not alcoholic. And you hear some say they weren't sure. I already knew I was alcoholic and had known for years and years. Shoot, I'd been drinking and/or drugging for 22+ years. I had stopped the drugging years back(well, mostly), but the drinking had escalated to a point that, for the last few years, I didn't get things like hangovers....simply because I was never was sober. I had long since given up on recovery, God, other people, or help in general. I did have a "plan" and "a design for living" though...... And that "plan" or "design for living" was working on being a "functioning" alcoholic! :roll:

Let's see....that's "what it was like". Now "what happened".....

This year has sucked. A lot. But not all of the time.

I have lost as many jobs sober in the past year as I ever did drunk! I've been beaten up, lost bank accounts, had to borrow money(very hard for me to do), am still deeply in debt, have been estranged from people I considered friends, have been gossiped about, have had to avoid visiting my own family, ask virtual strangers for help, learn to "feel" again, etc. All of that and a bunch more....and I had to quit drinking, too!! And find a Higher Power(wayyyyy harder for me to do than borrow money)!!

Man, it's been a rough ten months.

I guess that takes me to "what it's like now"

I'm still sober. I have friends that I don't need to be estranged from. Heck, I can tolerate the old ones now, too. I'm still deeply in debt, but since I now have one of the best paying jobs I've had in years, every once in a while, I am able to help someone else out. I have crazy things like health insurance, car insurance, a driver's license. I'm not in jail or detox!!! I've learned to ask for help and as a result am sometimes able to give it back. And I've realized that it's kind of okay to "feel" again. And that just because I didn't remember a lot of "feeling" for the past couple of decades didn't mean I wasn't feeling....it just meant I was doing all I knew to do to quit caring about it. And as for the the gossip part, I'm trying to work on getting better at sharing than recieving!!! :twisted: (just kidding!!!)

Oh yeah....and I don't puke when I say(or type!) the word 'God' these days. I do crazy things like pray and meditate. And crazier still, I mean it when I do it!!!! I do silly stuff like follow direction and listen to my sponsor. A year ago, you'd have not convinced me such things were even possible, let alone possibly work.

Anyhoo....that's my story in a nutshell. (yeah, yeah.....a really big nutshell :wink: ).

Did I say "a little about me" at the beginning of this thing??? :lol: Anyhoo.....Thanks for letting me share.

Take Care All,


Posts: 16
Joined: Sun Oct 02, 2005 6:17 pm

Postby ATL-Male » Thu Oct 06, 2005 9:26 am

Thanks for sharing your story Cathy. Looks like you been around here longer than I have.

Can you do me a favor and tell me where I can get a cup of coffee around here???? :lol: :lol: :lol:

Rusty Zipper
Posts: 371
Joined: Fri Jul 29, 2005 11:19 pm

Postby Rusty Zipper » Sun Oct 09, 2005 11:03 am

hey C! its your pal Rusty say'n howdy. ya know C, you were the second person to send me a PM when i first came here. Mr BB da first! ... TY C! hey C! funny, i never had hangovers either :lol: C, one of the best things the prog. offers us? freedom from "fears" you been thru a lot. and your stil here,and clean! yeah!!! keep trusting, and believing my friend. be as honest with yourself, and others as you can be. this the tenth month of the year. step 10! in my book, do i want to be right! or sober! ??? .............. have a good one my friend, and ttul xo, Rusty :wink:

Posts: 58
Joined: Tue Oct 04, 2005 9:47 pm

Postby Angel » Mon Oct 10, 2005 3:10 am

Hi Cathy, My name is Angel (or Linda if you prefer). I'm very pleased to meet you. :) Thank you for telling your story..RUFF STUFF..but your still Clean and Sober..that's a miracle..I just had 5 months (and I've been around the rooms for a long time..I did have 5 yrs. at one time) but that doesn't mater because all I have is today..and for that I'm grateful. When I was out there drinking (before I found the rooms)..I didn't have a clue I was an alcoholic. I thought that what I was doing was normal (because I had done it since I was 14..) It seemed natural and normal..Until things got really out of hand. That's when I found out that "Denial" wasn't a river in Egypt :lol: Well, Thanks again..and I hope will be talking again soon!!

Love..The Angel 8)

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