Thanks for checking in and lighting a fire in the forum fireplace!
Justin wrote:Here's a little background. In the past we've broken up, gotten back together, broken up, gotten back together, over and over again.
Been there and done that a few times myself!
Here's what I learned from it.
I looked at every relationship that I had ever had that was like the one you mentioned you had.... and the common denominator that I discovered in all of mine was: It was the wrong relationship with the wrong person.
I hear people talk about how "a relationship takes a lot of hard work."
If they do take a lot of hard work: I wouldn't want one.
I meet too many friends and strangers -- and it's not difficult at all to get along with them. it just seems to come natural. Smooth. Easy. Free-flowing. Sometimes, mutual intersts. Sometimes, not. But, there always seems to be a quality of easiness about it, and it seems to have integrity, respect, kindness, thoughtfulness and mutual consideration.
Well... I discovered for me... if I can meet friends and strangers and have that kind of non-relationship relationship with them -- and it doesn't take a lot of hard work -- why can't I meet a person, that I do want to have a relationship with, that comes as easy and natural as the relationships with friends?
I could have that. But, the first thing has to come first. Friends. Friendship. If I'm looking for a relationship -- I'm going to miss out a lot of opportunities to make new friends. And, if I do that, I'll end up with someone else who was looking for a relationship -- that was missing out on making new friends.
And, if I hook up with that one -- it's going to be a lot of hard work.
Why? Because neither one of us was looking for a friend. And, you've got to be a friend to have a friend. So, if you end up in a relationship with another relationship-seeker -- you probably missed out on having a relationship with a friend.
Think for a moment, "how often do I meet someone that I feel like they become my best friend?" For me... it's not very often. I could find a whole bunch of new relationships a lot easier and faster than I could find one potential best friend.
So, if I want a good, healthy relationship with someone that "I feel like I'm in a relationship with my best friend" -- the "best friend has to come before the relationship."
If I don't do it that way -- I end up sitting in the dirt, spinning wheels and bottoming out -- working hard to get the relationship out of the ditch.
Now on to "Higher Power"....
Why not take this time... to spend getting to know your Higher Power better? And, to be making conscious attempts to know more about your Higher Power? Your Higher Power -- is your #1 Best Friend.
Why not spend this time working on that relationship for now?
Now about "March"... I agree with you and I'll bet that did come from your HP. Whatever you're doing in the seeking arena -- put it off until March. You'll be glad you did, because something big and something good is in store for you around the 13th of March. It would be too bad to see you hook up with good and see you miss out on best!
On Step 8 & 9 and making amends... there is a right time to make amends. It's not always the right time to rush out and do it. Some of them we do rush right out and do them.... (I do mine with a sponsors direction when we I them). ... other one's we do delay... (I do those with a sponsors direction, too). The reason I use a sponsors direction -- is when I follow my direction -- often -- I'll screw up and have to make amends over my attempt to make amends!
Good to hear from you Justin! Keep checking in!