Personal relationships in early recovery

A discussion of topics about relationships in Recovery
Posts: 10
Joined: Mon Jan 07, 2008 8:09 pm

Postby MikeM1968 » Wed Jan 16, 2008 9:49 pm

I will not preach to my sponsee's to stay out of relationships, I will share my experience of NOT LISTENING to my sponsor about it.

Pain is the touchstone to spiritual progress. The worst part was the most painful situation was with a woman I never had sex with. Emotional pain is alot worse than physical pain to me.

Live and learn


Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2011 5:04 pm


Postby Tnelly » Fri Sep 09, 2011 11:41 pm

anokagrassland wrote:Personally I'd rather date a lady in the program. Even new in the program, they tend to be better women then most of those outside of it. Simply because they are working a program. Most of the women I've talked to outside of the program haven't done any counseling or treatment of any sort following divorces or breakups. "It was all his fault". Then they continue to engage in the same destructive behaviours that caused problems in their previous relationship/s.

No, an AA lady has my vote. I've met one too. She's an absolute perfect match. Considering I farm and ranch in a remote place that's a pretty big deal. She's from an even more remote ranch. She doesn't have enough time in the program right now. How much is enough? I don't think anyone can say. It depends more on the individuals involved. Some people may never be ready for a close relationship. I've seen people get pretty messed up by their sponsors too. Actually I've seen more problems with sponsors then I have with dating.

The importants thing is for both people to keep their focus on God and to keep working their program.

There is too much non-AA stuff continually being introduced into AA meetings. Meetings need to revolve around the Big Book and the 12 steps.


Hi Chris,

I'm new here and this is my 1st reply to a post. I just wanted to say that I really appreciated your post. We are all unique and nobody has the same experience or reaction to a situation. I think a lot of people get caught up in rules and guidelines and forget to just listen to their heart (re the relationship ####. I agree with the fact that too much non-AA crap gets brought in. It scares people away from recovery in AA. It did for me. I have 20mths sobriety and have hardly gone to any meetings. I haven't worked my steps either. I'm suffering because of it so last week I decided that I want to go to meetings and work my steps. I don't have to feed into the drama that goes on in AA. I'm glad I made that choice. I wish there were more people in AA that were coming from their spirit and hearts and not their heads. Thanks for listening...

Take good care,


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Postby Dallas » Sat Sep 10, 2011 5:48 am

Welcome to the forum Tenille. Nice to hear from you.


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