tj!! You 'n me is cut from the same cloth girl
. I've realized lately, though...for me
, my perspective has turned around, and without a defining moment...I "pick" people who are not good communicators, with me getting hurt, etc.,--has turned around to me asking: How do I
set that up/what's my part in this equation? Sometimes it's as "simple" and the same as walking forward, but looking behind me...end up walking into that power-pole--and hit the power pole-because it's in the way?? That power-pole didn't just spring up out of the ground. I've gone and said something to someone, being all friendly and innocent, and they say something in return that...well...
...They misinterpret what I've said, take it all the wrong way, they get sore and retaliate. How's this turned around? I need to learn to be more sensitive to others' feelings instead of expecting them to be sensitive to mine. To take something mundane and irrelevant, I said to my supervisor that, another unit that I'd driven, I'd done a park brake test, and also the brakes, and reported to her the results I experienced. Simple enough, right? You'd think. She looks at me right in the eye and, with this tone of exacberation, says: "I find it difficult to believe, as (name of driver who usually drives this particular unit) is a slow driver." My "response" was:
. She puzzled me too much to become defensive, but my feelings were hurt, plus, I was confused, and that small feeling that I don't know what I'm talking about rose fast. What I had said, and her response, did not match...so, where did she think I was coming from--instead of throwing a temper tantrum and stomping away. After meditating on it for...a day
, literally...took me a full day to clue in to what she
. She thought I was knocking this other driver, which was the farthest thing from what my intention was. I also was considerate that my supervisor was running on 3-4 hours sleep per night, and her head wasn't too clear. ###...a month later, that particular bus had to go in for...what? Brake work
####. The girl's driving has nothing to do with brakes, but her brakes might be a problem in regards to her driving
I've grown an ounce...in that I've learned to back away, and instead of dwelling on it and letting it fester, I pray about it...hash it out with God as I understand Him and a logical conclusion materializes. We all come from different backgrounds, we've all had different influences, from which we learn how to communicate with others. If you aren't understanding me, yes, we both speak english, but maybe I can find different words/find a different way of putting it. Words, tones, influences, all are drawn on and play a part in my communication with others. Sometimes my form of communication with another might be kind of like talking louder to someone who has a Spanish tongue...and that's my
part. Yes, they can hear me, but that doesn't mean the other person and I are on the same page of understanding...even when it might appear that we are. Communication takes work on both sides, and these days, with our fast paced lifestyles, sometimes taking the time to listen is just more than some folks are willing to do. Is it frustrating? Yes. But, that's why we have AA. In here
, there is an understanding that goes beyond words. That's why we go to meetings, work and communicate with others in the program on a daily basis, as well as work our steps...we learn that we are not alone, that there are people who do listen, and who do understand what it is we're trying
to say, even when we don't.
Keep coming back...