I haven't heard those stories either.... yet.
I wasn't referring to a 12 Step Swingers site.
Hey, they have personal ads in classifieds, AOL, Yahoo, Match, Craigs List, eHarmony, just to name a few of the thousands of sites that are set up to help a single person connect with a single person that has "like interests."
How many of those sites have a selection of: "Are you a member of a 12 Step Program? Are you sober? Do you not drink and not use drugs?"
I haven't had much personal experience with this -- but, I know that while I was living in the Southern California area, I often went to 12 Step Dances, because I knew I would meet other 12 Steppers there, and that the emphasis would be on sobriety... no drinking, no drugs, etceteras.
At the 12 Step Dances, I did meet other 12 Steppers and sometimes we would date -- and it turned out really great, because of our similar interests in life. I would much rather go see a movie or a concert, or a ball game, or a play, or on a date with someone else that had solid recovery characteristics. However, my eyes are trained not to look for or at others as "prospective dates" in A.A. meetings. For me, that's taboo. with no wiggle room.
At convention dances, I'm there to have a good time but not to take it serious like a dance partner might be a potential date or something. Often, many of them are married or in relationships, and they, too, are just dancing for the fun of dancing and having a good time...
I guess a person could put a personal ad on a personals site and mention that they are 12 Steppers and prefer to meet and date other 12 Steppers, but that one profile might be buried in 100,000 other profiles. Why not make it easy for 12 Steppers to find other 12 Steppers that are interested in dating?
Just my thoughts about it.