RobinC wrote:I actually questioned my sobriety and was it worth the pain so why not just drink
God how I love alcoholics! Brother if there is one single thing I can identify with inside and out, it's in that sentence.
By the way, that "thought" comes from what looks like the first member of your "committee" - the one inside your head. That committee member will always be there, and no matter what happens in sobriety, when your committee meets, he'll be saying the same thing "Let's have a drink". You see, the purpose of that committee is to over-analyze everything and to find the most complicated or absurd solution that couldn't possibly work in solving any of life's problems.
He's still there when my "committee" meets. I don't fight him any more. I just say "Thank you for that refreshing viewpoint - now let's get on to the next committee member."
(In case you don't know about the "commiittee", its that group of "folks" or voices in your head that wake you up at 3:00 A.M. with the need for an "emergency meeting". Some people call it "racing thoughts" but I have more fun thinking of it as the "committee".)