When I was newly sober in AA, I wanted to avoid any "moral" discussion.
Primarily, because I was happy to keep my lower standards for my behavior.
Then, I came face to face with the fact that I was going to have to change... if I wanted to stay sober for the long-haul.
LOL! I understand - FULLY!
Its cool how I find almost exactly what you say in the book. Look at page 44:"At first some of us tried to avoid the issue, hoping against hope we were not true alcoholics. But after a while we had to face the fact that we must find a spiritual basis of - or else."
Dallas wrote:When I make moral choices -- I feel good about me and who I am. And, for me, feeling good about me -- was a strange concept... I didn't know what it was like to legitimately feel good about myself.
"...Without developing a positive and healthy self-esteem... I somehow knew that my sobriety would be precarious.
Now this is awesome Dallas. I can identify so much with what you say here. Especially about how "feeling good about me -- was a strange concept."
Man I think that sums up that "abnormal effect" of alcohol on the brain of an alcoholic. I mean it took years to "re-learn" my brain to start doing something it was already hard-wired to do: that is doing worthwhile things. When I drank, somehow it was like going in deep deep and deeper, then "unwiring" my brain the way it was originally designed by a "loving God". Alcohol is really only an "inert liquid" - But this is how it became cunning, baffling, and powerful. It unwired my natural wiring and it took years, just like you Dallas, to start feeling good just by doing simple decent things that normal folk do without much thought.
Look at it in light of what's written in the book on page 55:
"We finally saw that faith in some kind of God was a part of our make-up, just as much as the feelings we have for a friend. Sometimes we had to search fearlessly but He was there. He was as much a fact as we were. We found the Great Reality deep down within us. In the last analysis it is only there that he may be found."
So what I'm saying is "feeling good about me" by making "moral choices" like you said, is a part of my "make-up". It's been there all along deep within me. Oh and this blows me away. All of this: morals, faith, trust, and a Higher Power that I can understand
is "as much a FACT as we were".
It's totally awesome realizing this today. These things have been within me, and within my reach, all along. They were as much a fact as I am
. The obvious thing is that I can have positive and healthy â€œself-esteemâ€