- Morals and sobriety

Morals and sobriety




Topics related to AA Meetings - and alcohol addiction recovery

Morals and sobriety

Postby Dallas » Tue Sep 09, 2008 12:31 am

I've noticed that we don't hear much about "Morals" in sobriety -- in our meetings. I don't know if it's because talking about morals seems religious to some folks and they are offended by it -- or, if it's just something that we'd rather evade.

Our 4th Step specifically refers to a "moral" Inventory.

When I was newly sober in AA, I wanted to avoid any "moral" discussion. 8) Primarily, because I was happy to keep my lower standards for my behavior.

Then, I came face to face with the fact that I was going to have to change... if I wanted to stay sober for the long-haul.

For me, my spirituality would not be spirituality -- without making moral choices and moral decisions.... followed by taking actions that are congruent with my moral ideals for myself.

When I make moral choices -- I feel good about me and who I am. And, for me, feeling good about me -- was a strange concept... I didn't know what it was like to legitimately feel good about myself.

Perhaps, it was because my self-esteem was so low -- because I had continued to try to lower my moral standards to meet my circumstances.... until I reached a stage of pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization.

For me, it was critical for me to change and to continue to continue changing... so that eventually I would feel good about me. Without developing a positive and healthy self-esteem... I somehow knew that my sobriety would be precarious.

Dallas B.
Dallas
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4781
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Postby ccs » Tue Sep 09, 2008 3:24 am

morals HHHMMMM!!!!! thats a good one!!!!! well for this alcoholic I wasnt aware what it really meant to have morals until I started coming out of some of the fog :oops: so I looked it up Webster says "conforming to a standard of right behavior also; capable of right and wrong action" or "of or relating to principles of right and wrong"

WELL! I certainly had the wrong part down pretty good :lol: ok so now I`v got to change ( conform to a standard of right behavior)
the word itself sounded painful to me I didnt know anyone else could lower thier standards the way I had until I got to A.A. and heard others stories (that low self esteem had me good too) I was relieved to hear I wasnt alone to hear that others had been there too

I remember when I first got here people said things that made me think they where talking about me like they had been there with me ( they had just been like me!)

I have a friend in the program who always says that the way to get rid of a low self esteem is to do esteemable things :D

wow! sorry I`m just rambling I guess this littletopic of morals sparked something in me :lol:

Today I do have standards of right behavior, and I try to do esteemable things! and that is a direct result of the changing that comes from God in my life and the program of Alcoholics Anonymous

I dont mind sharing on my lack of morals in the past in meetings at all because just maybe someone new might get that feeling of relief to know they are not alone , like I did when I first came in to theese rooms and heard my story coming out of someone elses mouth :)

man I`m still rambling :o Thanks for letting me :lol: thanks for asking Dallas luv2all Cessie
ccs
 
Posts: 392
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 1:44 am
Location: Tampa Bay Area Fla.

Morals??

Postby Victor » Sun Sep 14, 2008 2:46 am

:roll: Morals? Wow touchy subject still learning how to do the moral thing good topic thanks Dallas and Cessie :wink:

hugs
vic
Victor
 
Posts: 42
Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2008 2:42 am
Location: Oak Harbor WA

Postby Susan » Mon Sep 15, 2008 10:16 pm

Nobody wants to talk about the Four Absolutes, The Golden Books. AA has all been watered down. The conference approved literature has all changed. The 12x12 talks a lot about changing a lot of behavior but you have to want to.
Susan
 
Posts: 132
Joined: Fri Jun 08, 2007 9:10 am
Location: Lake Erie, Ohio

Postby kidlizard » Tue Sep 16, 2008 1:33 pm

Perfect, now I know what the topic of our next meeting will be on :)
I dont think Ive been to mtg where this was the topic.
kidlizard
 
Posts: 20
Joined: Wed Jul 16, 2008 9:36 am
Location: Chicago, IL

Postby garden variety » Tue Sep 16, 2008 4:01 pm

Dallas wrote:When I was newly sober in AA, I wanted to avoid any "moral" discussion. 8) Primarily, because I was happy to keep my lower standards for my behavior.

Then, I came face to face with the fact that I was going to have to change... if I wanted to stay sober for the long-haul.


LOL! I understand - FULLY!

Its cool how I find almost exactly what you say in the book. Look at page 44:

"At first some of us tried to avoid the issue, hoping against hope we were not true alcoholics. But after a while we had to face the fact that we must find a spiritual basis of - or else."

Dallas wrote:When I make moral choices -- I feel good about me and who I am. And, for me, feeling good about me -- was a strange concept... I didn't know what it was like to legitimately feel good about myself.

"...Without developing a positive and healthy self-esteem... I somehow knew that my sobriety would be precarious.


Now this is awesome Dallas. I can identify so much with what you say here. Especially about how "feeling good about me -- was a strange concept."

Man I think that sums up that "abnormal effect" of alcohol on the brain of an alcoholic. I mean it took years to "re-learn" my brain to start doing something it was already hard-wired to do: that is doing worthwhile things. When I drank, somehow it was like going in deep deep and deeper, then "unwiring" my brain the way it was originally designed by a "loving God". Alcohol is really only an "inert liquid" - But this is how it became cunning, baffling, and powerful. It unwired my natural wiring and it took years, just like you Dallas, to start feeling good just by doing simple decent things that normal folk do without much thought.

Look at it in light of what's written in the book on page 55:

"We finally saw that faith in some kind of God was a part of our make-up, just as much as the feelings we have for a friend. Sometimes we had to search fearlessly but He was there. He was as much a fact as we were. We found the Great Reality deep down within us. In the last analysis it is only there that he may be found."

So what I'm saying is "feeling good about me" by making "moral choices" like you said, is a part of my "make-up". It's been there all along deep within me. Oh and this blows me away. All of this: morals, faith, trust, and a Higher Power that I can understand is "as much a FACT as we were".

It's totally awesome realizing this today. These things have been within me, and within my reach, all along. They were as much a fact as I am. The obvious thing is that I can have positive and healthy “self-esteemâ€
garden variety
 
Posts: 750
Joined: Fri Aug 04, 2006 7:39 pm
Location: Ohio

morals

Postby sunlight » Tue Sep 16, 2008 5:59 pm

I really thought that by getting sober & being a member of AA I had become spiritual,moral & on a much higher plane than y'all. We are not saints, but I was nearly an angel in MY mind.
Then came reality & a spiritual awakening & a crash landing! I had to face that I was not who I pretended to be or thought I was. But who & what am I? My 1st sponsor said I had to take it to God. The God of my understanding has a moral code of honesty,purity,unselfishness & love. I had a flaming resentment that the God of others' understanding let them sleep with everyone,cheat on their taxes,call in "sick" etc.
Did I really believe I'd be happier that way? I tried it! Talk about miserable. I couldn't convince myself that behaving self-centeredly is God's will for me. It doesn't work.
It's true about not hearing much about morals in meetings. How about we bring it up at the next meeting & discuss the results?
sunlight
 
Posts: 597
Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2008 12:03 pm
Location: Denver Co

Postby Dallas » Tue Sep 16, 2008 11:56 pm

Sunlight wrote:How about we bring it up at the next meeting & discuss the results?


Sunlight:

Assignment completed. :wink:

Did it. Did it again. And, again.

Very positive results to report. The topic was very welcomed and most of them said they enjoyed it. That it was refreshing. And, gave them something new to think about in a different light and from a different angle.

Also: GV, Thanks for your kind comments. :oops: :oops:

I'm trying to make progress....... and, I have made progress... but, to be perfectly honest with you... often I still feel tinges of unworthiness... and uncomfortable... when I get an honest and genuine positive compliment. Yep. That's the truth. I guess that just goes to show that I'm still a work in progress... with a bunch of work still to do. However......... today... I try to relax and take it easy... and let my heart feel a little bit of that fluttering feeling that feels good... and say to myself "Maybe I am making a little progress after all!!!" :wink:

Thanks to all of you. You're my teachers. My examples. I look at your progress and you give me hope that I can achieve what you have achieved, if I follow your path.... and keep close to you!

Dallas
Dallas
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4781
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

morals

Postby sunlight » Wed Sep 17, 2008 9:37 am

Last night's meeting was a group conscience. Oh well. Maybe the operative word is "conscience"! I'll keep trying. Why do I feel there's going to be resistance? Could it be me? :?
sunlight
 
Posts: 597
Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2008 12:03 pm
Location: Denver Co

Postby Dallas » Wed Sep 17, 2008 11:43 am

Well. You can always sneak it in through the back door! :lol:

Discussion topic: "what does the word moral mean in Step 4? Why is it necessary to take a moral inventory?" :lol:
Dallas
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4781
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Next

Return to A. A. Meeting Topics

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest









.








12 Step Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery | - Morals and sobriety



cron