unknown fears, plans ABC, powerless, turn it over, let go , let God! ect. ... the day yesterday was prob. the most spiritualy enlightening one yet in recovery. i'll try to keep it simple.
nah!... go to get recovery buddies kid for school. ask him if we can leave sooner cuz can get a ride from neighbor to go pick up other car of mine. 7:30am i spozed ta meet. he say, i already showered at 6:30am. great, he just has to get dressed. sitting downstairs, think'n its now 7:20, i not gunna make it. thats ok. thinking about its not all about me. i find another way to get my car. ok, so i turned that one over, and found a plan B ### i called the #### ok. i go upstairs, and the kid back in bed! wadup? he say, he no feel good, and tried to tell me. ### #### ok, now i mad, back to being about me. get up, go over, wait, stew, have resentment. i say thanks, and hope ya have a great day. with a lot of attitude. go downstairs, and the older brother say, what, ya cant get the kid mov'n. "Snap" i say, F-u all, and storm out the door. later i called to say sorry. ok , now back home. slipper here, we gunna go get other car. he see;s a puddle of anti-freeze under car. check he say's. i say, they just flushed out the radiator, and must be the overflow. he say check, you no want ta get stuck. ah, no sweats i say. on the way back to get the older brother. ### gunna work with me #### i see steam coming out from under da hood. ut!-oh!, then the car stalls. open hood, ... a mess! i call the garage, and say what gives. they know i'm in recovery. i say i'm a little nerved up, and "HELP" she say sit tight, the wrecker on the way. now its cold, i got'a pee, i start the serenity prayer, go into plan B, the unknow fears are creeping in, but i think of powerless, and let this one go too. find out the problem, was something we halfass fixed, a year ago that let loose. my part? didnt want to spend the $$$ at the time,### financial insecurities #### now paying the price. car at garaage, mind you my van was just there, the car once, and now back! yikes! 3 times, one week. get ride home, grab warmer coat, and what i thought was nessasary to go paint my x sponsers house, have about one more day left. but the weather not being nice here. "powerless again" ok, in plan c, by now, its get'n late the sun go'n in, not feel'n it, and want to crawl in hole at this point. grab the older kid, on way, just about there. "Ass, i say" i left the paint brushes home
the kid starts ta laugh, he say, Patrick, some days its not meant to get ouda bed. we have a good laugh. toss in the towel. take him home. stil tur'n everything over at this point. remember the saying, be good to yourself. i decide to go get'a haircut. go , and the lady say, ya got'a wait a hour, or comeback. rrrrr, arg, and the big Phoey. ok, i go, and come back. just about fall sleeps in chair. go back home, and start get'n ant'sy. i want control over my day, and couldnt seem to get it, i wanted power.### not #### decided to try to make a appointment for the next day today. then it hit me. dont, take what is being delt you, its just one of those one day at a time days that is not going myway at all. turn it all over, restart the day. get your serenity back, and move on. i got under the kiver's, put on some L'a Musica, and chilled. be'n good to myself. ok, a prog. guy struggling, called, we talked, asked if i go'n meets tanight. said was gunna hang. but if ya cant find another ride. i get ya, and we go. ok, he found a ride. nice. was about 6'o-clock, i started a fire, put on some good music, was going to make a nice dinner. yep, be'n good to me self. then the phone rang. program person, can you lead the meets tanight? pppfff, was taught to never say no. so i say, if ya pick me up, no prob. my reason, dont like to drive the tired old van at night. the windows scratched real bad, and i dont see all that well at night. ### wouldn't have stoped me when using #### she say i come get ya.... we there, beginners meets, what step we on? you guesed it!!! "Step - One " POWERLESS lol, rotfl, lmassoff
le'me'tell'ya, did i have some stuff ta say about that
. so it was a day of Expecting the Unexpected. put all the steps inta use. steps 1, 3, and 12 shined. tremdous spiritual growth, by being sober, and aware. well that was my day. sorry to bore ya's, but thats what this forum is about. things that happen, how we deal with them, and how the program helps to keep us away from a drink. thanks for letting me share. and good wishes to you all. xxxooo PC
.................. ps JR, a whoopie party is one for no reason, to get get drunk, and high, get stupid, listen to lousy, music, eat crap, play dope'y games, and have unprotected wild sex