Dallas wrote:God doesn't test us by putting us in dangerous places.
You bring up a point that I love to argue about. This whole idea of "tests" and that somehow a "schoolmaster" type of "God" is giving them out to His students is preposterous to me. It really rubs me the wrong way - the problem I noticed is that some of this "testing" discussion does end up in the widely read 24-hour book. In my opinion writings like that are, like Dallas one time exclaimed, "dangerously close to spiritual theory". Talk about "be careful" - I tell you what!
I heard a lady say this about the God of her understanding:
"My God doesn't test me. He helps me through the tests."
To that I said AMEN!
I won't write a book about "feelings". Sometimes my feelings are right on the money. Sometimes my feelings are just that, "feelings" and nothing else. Sometimes my feelings are 100% wrong. So what I have to do is never totally rely on my feelings - especially when my emotions are running hot.
Ere-go the program. I don't have to rely on my feelings because there is a tool that fits any situation when there is a danger of me "reacting" based on my emotionally-charged feelings. It comes from the 5th step, and I call it the tool and spiritual principle of
"Accountability". I have a fellowship and support group of fellow human beings that are there to help me when I'm overcome or overwhelmed by feelings or emotions, such as I was this morning. I have also been accountable to a number of folks in this forum at different times. Shame on me if I don't use that tool. I could, like Dallas said, end up dead.
The other thing that helps me to not totally rely on my feelings is the "Great Fact". That's why it's called a "Great Fact" - it is not a "Great piece of fiction", it is not a "Great Idea", it is not a "Great Theory", or "Great fad", or "Great impulse". It is a fact that doesn't need any further support or contradiction from my feelings. It is a fact that no longer needs to be disputed. For me, its a Great Fact because it has been around since the beginning of time.
The Great Fact says that if I make it my personal business to use all the earnestness at my command to make sure my relationship with a God of my understanding is at its best, then very big and powerfully good situations will "come to pass" for countless people including me (see the "Great Fact" on page 164). Well that Great Fact gives me a whole lot of comfort when my feelings are making me cry like today. It also motivates me to always be working on that relationship.
So in a nutshell, I have two relationships that come before ANY other relatinship including the one I've shared about with a former girlfriend I still love who is sick with a serious physical illness and also has not stopped drinking for all time.
1. My relationship with a God of my understanding
2. My relationship with my sobriety and recovery
I also won't mince words here either. Dallas is 100% correct in giving the warning to be extremely careful in my dealings with this lady-friend, and I know he gives that warning because he loves me and everyone else that is alcoholic here. I would never suggest to anyone with the problem of alcoholism to get involved in situations like this because it can be a risk to sobriety. Am I operating on self-will? Am I taking an unecessary chance? Am I threatening my own sobriety? I can't answer any of those questions because I just don't know. But there is One who does know, and I came to believe I found Him today. Anything other than that, time will tell.
