Dallas wrote:Paul wrote:I want to point something out that might "sting" for a minute. I'll just try to hold a mirror up to your face,
I know of at least one member of the forum that returned to drinking after some comments that "stung".... That's why we share about ourselves rather than offering stinging comments or advice. Don't do it. Stay away from getting personal or making comments (especially stinging ones) in regards to someone elses comments on the board. It nearly always causes problems.
I'm sorry that you took the words I chose to use out of context. I see you felt compelled to remove a set of words and comments. I don't think that was necessary. If you were to take the sentence I used above completely out of my post, the results would be no different. What I posted were questions that were asked to hopefully encourage any particular person on the forum to reflect. That is to "to look at oneself" or to look at "my role" in a situation that causes a disturbance.
The questions I asked were not "stinging". So I should have avoided using the sentence I used above that you quoted. But in my experience, anyone who takes a personal inventory, it doesn't matter if it's done like step 4 or step 10, and there is a shortcoming they're trying to uncover - well, reflection feels like a sting if I'm in the middle of finding my shortcomings. If I'm doing the forth step and the tenth step to the best of my ability, I'm gonna feel like I'm getting stung - plain and simple. If you would, please tell me what is "controversial" or "offensive" or "hurtful" about these questions:
"Are you being honest with yourself?"
"Are you ashamed of hiding something you don't want others to know?"
Now if you find any of the questions I asked to be offensive, then I'm willing to review them and see where I went wrong. Also, if there is something I posted that was not qualified by something that said "If I used those words, it would mean to me that..." - in other words relating my own experience - which I think I've been painstaking to do - then I need for that to be pointed out. But if you're picking out grammar or semantic mistakes, then to me it's not a constructive way of doing business or like they say around here "Why throw the baby out with the bathwater."
My question to you: Is removing the questions I asked and the comments related to them constructive? Particularly in light of the topic of the "10th Step Promises". From my experience, asking reflective questions is how an inventory is took.