I call that the bitch program and it is inhumane.
Susan, I just love ya and love the way you can express things!!!
How can I help clone you so we can have a Susan Movement!!
When I was a little kid -- I always thought it would be great to become a doctor -- so that I could treat my family!
Even after my body grew up -- I thought it would be great to be a doctor so that I could treat my family and friends...
When my mind slowly started to grow, trying to catch up with my body and my age... I learned that to be able to "try my theories" about what's good and not-good -- I could ask questions of those that were doing what I wanted to do. Then, I could learn by their trial and errors and their experiences... rather than creating my own crisis after crisis, to figure out that my ideas were not so sound.
So, I said to doctors that I would meet... "It sure must be great to treat your wife and family! I'll bet it saves you a ton of money!"
And, they would look at me like I was a frog that had just fallen off a log!
"Oh. We never treat our family members. It's even part of our unwritten code of ethics. It's a real bad idea for a doctor to treat family members... we send them to see another doctor when they need to be treated."
I still didn't understand...
Then, I said to some lawyers I met... "I bet it saves you a lot of money, makes you a lot of money, and you can do a real good job -- defending yourself, being your own lawyer and lawyering for your family members!"
They all told me "Oh no! It's not a good idea for a lawyer to be his own lawyer or to lawyer for his family! We suggest they use another lawyer!"
I've slowly started discovering what they were talking about.
I learned it through my relationship with my dog.
I love my dog. She's like a kid to me. She's a companion. A partner. A friend.
Once she was really sick... and I didn't know how sick she really was, because I'm not a Vet. And, I figured that I know some of what Vet's know... and I could decide what was best for her.
What happened was: she got sicker. I got scared. On a Saturday night I was on the phone to a Vet and he got out of bed and said "Get her in here quick!"
I learned that had I waited... possibly a couple more minutes... or hour or two... she would have probably died.
That would have really killed me emotionally -- if she had died -- and, I had been the one trying to treat her.
Then, I understood what the doctors and lawyers were talking about. What if they died? What if they went to prison? They said, "How would it effect me emotionally"?
I also learned, by trial and error, what it was like to try to help an alcoholic relative to recover. And, what it was like to be married to an alcoholic -- and trying to be her husband and her sponsor (with my and her excuse that... she couldn't find some other lady and I could help her the best). She almost died -- and it nearly killed me.
After the broken heart, the emotional melt-down, and the divorce... and after some time feverishly working to survive (let alone to recover)... I learned some valuable information that could help me in my future adventures.
One of my natural traits is: "I know that I always know more than the other guys."
It has been suggested to me, that it's also one of my alcoholic personality traits!
I've learned to ask questions. To be slow to act and fast to learn. To remember -- that my best ideas were ideas that I got from others.
I've often wondered if maybe it was one of God's tricks to help me try to gain some humility and to learn to be humble. Having me learn that I need Him and that the way He works for me -- is to work through others.
Well... if God is in me, and He is in others... why not just use the God in me instead of the God in others???
My answer is: The God in me is the same God that is in others... and for me to learn that I'm always in a relationship with God and with others (in some way or other... good, bad, or ugly)... I need others. And, God works for me through the others.
I guess the reason He works that way for me -- is I have a tendency to forget that God is God and me is me. And, I end up trying to play God and not even know that I'm playing God -- because I'm not playing!
So, He works for me in this way, through others... to remind me that "I'm not-God. And, I better be careful... how I treat and relate to others. Because I need them, too!"
What's this got to do with the topic here? I don't know. Probably nothing to you. But, your experience with this topic must have touched something in me.