Hi Sarah, and thanks for your post! (And, for coming back! We need and want you here with us!!!)
Sarah wrote:for me if i see someone not living the program outside the room then their just not the sponsor for me..im learning to live a sober and honest life and cant honestly take suggestions from anyone who cant live the same way!
When I was new in AA, and didn't know what the heck a sponsor was for... or how to be sponsored, or how to pick a sponsor... Some AA Oldtimers that saved my life gave me their Golden Rule in Picking A Sponsor:
They said... don't just listen to the guy in the meeting. If you think you might want to pick him for a sponsor -- go home with him first. Do it a few times. Take note of how he treats his family, his wife, his dog and cats.... Go shopping with him -- and see how he treats the store clerks. Go out to eat with him, and see how he treats the wait-staff and strangers -- outside of AA. Check him out thoroughly and find out if he lives the program that he talks about in the rooms... BEFORE you ask him to be your sponsor. They said "After all, you want someone that can pass on to you what has worked for them -- that gave them the kind of good life that you'd like to live and to achieve for yourself."
For me -- that was great advice -- and I still pass on those suggestions to newcomers (or, anyone... including Old-timers) that are looking for sponsors.
It looks as though you're already following that Golden Rule of Picking A Sponsor -- that was passed on to me -- many years ago. It worked for me. And, I'm sure that it will end up working for you, too!