- Doing God's will

Doing God's will




Discussions related to 12 Step Recovery and Treatment

Postby Woodstock » Fri Nov 18, 2005 4:13 am

Well, interesting day.

Work went really well, office relationships are better than they have ever been for me (in recovery) . Life continues to improve there; wonder if they have put 2 and 2 together and know I'm in recovery.

Wife had a good day at work (recovering addict 6 months clean.) She got her pay stub and it reflects her first
full check since going back to work (Tried to commit suicide Feb and May 2005 got back to work 3 weeks ago.) She is really happy and bought a turkey for thanksgiving.

She went to her meeting and had a miserable time and she carried it to bed with her. She told the members of her group she no longer feels the desire to use drugs. They said "yeah sure, keep coming back" that pissed her off.

She now admits she is not working the steps, reading her literature, or
praying. Only going to meetings and her sponsor is negative and is a drama queen, etc, etc etc.

She believes I'm brainwashed with the 12 steps and they are not doing anything for her.

What did I do? pulled out the BB and started thumping. Passage after passage read and pointed out to her. To no avail. She wants me to talk to her like a husband and not to her as alcoholic to addict.

Well, I wouldn't listen either if someone came at me with a BB and tried to force feed me. I have a defiant nature and don't like to be told what to do. BB tells me to look inside for the answer - that's where I focus my attention.

Brighter note:

Last night did f2f 9th step with Tony - my oldest son (24 yrs). Went great, it turned around on me though and turned into 12th step work. He is concerned about his drinking and I gave him one of my BBs to take home and read. He sounds alcoholic to me but it's not my place - he'll have to decide for himself - that's what I told him.

So, last 24 hrs has been exciting and scary. It's hard for me to talk to wife in her condition. I told her I'm too involved, too close, have investment here. We nearly lost everything a few months ago and she thinks we'll be fine with no worries.

Yeah, right.......

My last act tonight will be a prayer and then hand this stuff over to God and let his will unfold. A little extra help in prayer is welcomed.

ASAP (Always Say A Prayer)

Jim
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Postby crickit » Fri Nov 18, 2005 4:53 pm

But most times Im just not sure what His will really is for me. Just when I think I have it all figured out, it changes. And it keeps changing, just like I am in sobriety, as I change, God's will and even my will, change.


Hi everyone, especially newcomers. Sorry I haven't been around for a while, just been really busy.

I just had to reply to the above quote because I have felt the same thing many time. When I learned to live my life 24 hours at a time and stopped trying to control the outcome I found that we're not suppose to be trying to figure out what his will is for us. We work our program one day at a time and live the best possible lives we can. We keep moving forward and things start to happen for us. Our higher power wants us to be happy and fullfilled and that is suppose to change everyday as we enter new experiences and the world around us changes. Think of how awful a life would be if everything were stagnant. It would be pretty compfortable if everything stayed at a point where we found peace and serenity but what would there be to look forward to if life stood still. We are growing everday and to do that we need to have experiences that we don't necessarily like but we learn our lessons as they are given.

Just to update everyone on my situation. Some of you know my husband and I split up a couple of months ago. Well since then I've being trying my best to live one day at a time and trust that everything is exactly as it should be. Well on October 17 my husband decided he wanted what I had and booked himself into a treatment center. He celebrated 1 month of clean time yesterday. I don't know if we will get back together as husband and wife but we have become freinds. We both have learned alot about addiction and codepency. We are also both attending Alnon meetings because we both came from very disfunctional families. We try hard to keep our recovery seperate right now because we are both at different levels of sobriety ( I just celebrated 9 months on Nov 14 and am at step 8 in my step study). I've learned alot about loving detatchment and putting my sobriety 1st. Without that I am nothing to anyone.

I have also been spending alot of time voleneering at the womans recovery centre here and have told my story a few times. Now that was an experience to remember. I was really nervous at first but after I got started and looked out into the faces of these women I saw every emotion I had felt at the beginning of my sobriety. It honestly is a very humbling experience.

Well I have to run now but I will catch up with everyone as soon as my life slows down a bit. I never would have thought that recovery was really a 24 hour job. It really does make a difference when you start giving away what we have recieved from the fellowship of AA. I have 2 sponsee's right now and it certainly has made my problems seem very trivial.

They say that your Higher Power will never give you more than you can handle at any given moment and some days I still live hour to hour but I have the serenity poem to keep me on track.

Talk to you all soon,
Bright Blessings,
Crickit
xxoo

HAPPY 24 HOURS
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Postby JR » Fri Nov 18, 2005 8:28 pm

Crickit,

So glad you could find the time to drop in, been missing you!!!!!! Sounds like things are moving along for you. I really liked what you said about God's will. I always think it is funny when people think they know what God's will is, it is kind of like saying "I know how to create a tree and a universe and I know all things". I like that you say we just be the best we can be on a 24 hour basis, using the information we have and following the directions we've been given.

Today I have 90 days and I am on my eighth step as well. I don't have nearly as much stuff going on in my life as you do, Crickit, and things are moving along for me as well.

I'm really enjoying my relationship with my sponsor. She has truly been a Godsend. Work is going well and my husband and I are doing even better than we were before I started drinking in 2003.

Anyway, Crickit, thanks for the update.

Easy Does It,

JR
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Postby crickit » Fri Nov 18, 2005 10:07 pm

Congrat's Jr on you 90 days. Keep comin' back !!!
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Postby Dallas » Fri Nov 18, 2005 10:47 pm

Crickit!!! It's so great to have you back with us!!! Congratulations on your 9 months and all the progress that you've been making. WOW! Talk about miracles!!! Thanks for sharing and... even when you are really really busy... don't forget that we miss you when we don't hear from you!

Just don't leave!

Dallas
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Postby Rusty Zipper » Sat Nov 19, 2005 1:03 am

hey Cricket, "Mucho Congrat's" "Bravo" but in Gods world. just one more hour at a time! :lol: Gods will huh? pfftt, ya do know how ta make a tree. think about it :?: the little acorn, hmmm? lol just add water! lol!... hey C, as far as da universe goes. dont need another. can be only one. "Infinity" and if i'm wrong. maybe we AAr's can figure out how ta make another. C, it's always more :wink: all my love, and best of wishes. Congrat's agin. Rusty
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Postby JR » Sat Nov 19, 2005 2:05 am

Crickit,

Congrats on 9 months :D !!!!

I liked what you said about that we are not supposed to be figuring out God's will. I know when I'm trying to "figure out" I'm usually figuring wrong. Anyway, Crickit, you're insight always amazes me. I had a sponsor who used to give me koans, she was Buddhist. One time she just told me to contemplate "figureless". Figureless??!! What an order! It is in my nature to try and figure it out, but it is so much easier just to let it be what it is without any judgement on my part of whether a thing is good or bad, right or wrong, God's will or not God's will. I just do the steps, follow the directions for recovery from alcoholism in the AA literature and everything seems to fall into place. Sometimes, uncomfortable and difficult stuff happens. But, as long as I keep trudging down the road of happy destiny(do the steps), things still fall into place when I walk through to the other side of the uncomfortable or difficult situation.

As PC says, pffft, what do I know anyway. I just know the steps are working for me. The steps have given me a Power greater than myself that will solve my problems, which is exactly what the BB promises.

Love you guys, and I'm sooooooo glad you are here. I hope we can all meet on the road someday.

Easy Does It,

JR
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Postby Rusty Zipper » Sat Nov 19, 2005 2:12 am

JR we have met on the road. we on the road to happy destiny. all is as it should. sweet dreams xo PC :wink:
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Postby crickit » Sun Nov 20, 2005 11:06 pm

Just don't leave!

Dallas


I'm so sorry to everyone for just disappearing like that. I know we have all become so close in the last little while. I'm bad :( to make you all worry like that.

I promise it won't happen again.

I am so glad to be back :D and to be welcomed back with open arms. Thanks everybody.

BB
Crickit
xxoo
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Hello

Postby 918gma » Mon Nov 21, 2005 4:09 am

Glad to hear you are well, drop a line when you can. Kathy (918gma)
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