- PRIDE..GOOD&BAD?

PRIDE..GOOD&BAD?




Topics related to AA Meetings - and alcohol addiction recovery

PRIDE..GOOD&BAD?

Postby ROBERT » Sun Mar 15, 2009 11:07 pm

HI GUYS...THERE WAS A MEETING, PRIDE WAS THE TOPIC....THERE WAS AN INTERESTING MIX OF THOUGHTS ABOUT HOW THERE CAN BE POSITIVE & NEGATIVES ASPECTS OF PRIDE IN RECOVERY......I WOULD LUV TO HEAR FROM YA'LL ON THIS, PLEASE AND THANK YOU "ROBERT"
ROBERT
 
Posts: 272
Joined: Sun Feb 08, 2009 2:09 am
Location: ILLINOIS

Postby sunlight » Mon Mar 16, 2009 10:08 pm

Hi Robert! Nice to see you. :D

When I came to my first meeting & saw the steps on the wall, with the mention of God, I was puzzled. I KNEW that God was the answer, yet I could not stay sober. What was I doing wrong? By golly, I was going to keep coming back just to find out!

What did I find? Pride. Man, my head took up six chairs! It takes those steps, & some hardcore AA's to get me down to right size. (present tense intentional!) My useless pride was blocking me from my God & from a right relationship with others.

I took a lot of hard knocks in early sobriety, & I didn't like it one bit! But I knew something was happening to me, & I wasn't drinking, so I didn't quit.

I remember reading in the 12x 12, "The attainment of greater humility is the foundation principle of each of AA's twelve steps. For without some degree of humility, no alcoholic can stay sober at all." That was the death knell for me, & I had to decide if I wanted to eat that crow with hot sauce or horseradish!

I hear all kinds of stuff in meetings about healthy pride & self-esteem & affirmations. I understand what they're trying to do - stop feeling like garbage. It's a dangerous place for me to be. Next I'll be trying to justify anger & lying & .... It's all too much for me. I need to simplify.

All that I am has been given to me by my Father. How can I take the kudos? If I do his work well, by allowing Him to work through me & live the way He wants me to, I feel great! And it doesn't fade away. No need to polish those apples, or for self-esteem or feel-good mind games. It's so much more than that!
I am a child of God, & as such, am to be treated with love & kindness, & so is everyone else! No room for pride there.
Ever say about someone who displays prideful arrogance, "Who does he think he is?"
He's that way because he doesn't know or has forgotten who he is!

Alcohol is a great leveler of pride for me. I was a blubbering idiot, & now I stand in the sunlight at last. And the sunlight isn't me! It's my Father's grace!

Got a bit carried away. It's been a fruitful weekend! :lol:
sunlight
 
Posts: 597
Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2008 12:03 pm
Location: Denver Co

Postby ROBERT » Mon Mar 16, 2009 11:39 pm

THANKS SUNLIGHT---YA KNOW,I DIDN'T SEE--carried away--AT ALL,I SAW A FELLOW RECOVERED ALKI SHARING SOME EXPERIENCE,STRENGHT-HOPE,AND I THANK U FOR THAT.I FOR ONE AM BEING BLESSED FAR BEYOND MY UNDERSTANDING. ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A YOUNG MAN WHO FOUND BY NOT DRINKING OR DRUGGING HIS LIFE EVENTUALLY GOT BETTER...WAY BETTER,LIKE FROM CONSTRUCTION WORKER, TO CAR SALESMAN,TO INSURANCE BROKER..NEW HOME,CARS,MONEY,THE NICER THINGS,BUT HE FORGOT WHERE HE CAME FROM AND HOW THESE THINGS REALLY CAME ABOUT,SOON HE THOUGHT HE IS A REAL SMART GUY--MAKE ALL THIS STUFF HAPPEN,WHY HE THOUGHT ALL ALONG HE WAS GREAT NOW HE KNOWS IT ...HEY LOOK @ ME---PRIDE COMETH BEFORE THE FALL,AND FALL I DID,HARD,FAST. I WAS GIVEN 4 YRS SOBER-AND SOME NICE THINGS-WITHIN A YEAR I WAS HOMELESS.FOR 10 YEARS I STAYED OUT THERE,LICKING MY PATHETIC WOUNDS,SELF INFLICTED AT THAT---TODAY I HAVE BEEN BLESSED W/15 MOS.THE ONE PROMISE "WE WILL NOT REGRET THE PAST NOR WISH TO SHUT THE DOOR ON IT" HAS A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY THANKFUL HEART--I KNOW ABOUT PRIDE--I WANT NO PART OF IT.TODAY I UNDERSTAND THE LINE IN OUR TEXT THAT SAYS SOMETHING TO THE EFFECT--THAT ANY THING COMING TO US,BEYOND SOBRIETY, IS A GIFT,A BLESSING..THRU THE GRACE AND LOVE FROM OUR HIGHER POWER..GOD.I AM FINALLY @ THE POINT WHERE I AM GREATFULL FOR THE EXPERIENCE,A LESSON I WILL NOT SOON FORGET........THANKS AGAIN ROBERT
ROBERT
 
Posts: 272
Joined: Sun Feb 08, 2009 2:09 am
Location: ILLINOIS

Postby Dallas » Tue Mar 17, 2009 7:16 pm

Perhaps... there are so many definitions and perceptions of things like pride... One person can say one thing and be right about it, and another person can say something opposite and be right about it, too! :lol: :lol:

When people are around -- and my big black lab rushes around his 125 pound body leaping in the air to catch each Frisbee that I throw ... I feel proud of that. I'm proud of my dogs. Proud of my sponsor. Proud of my Home Group... and proud to be able to be considered a sober member of AA!

And, I'm proud and feel good about many difficult things that I've been able to achieve in sobriety. I don't see anything wrong with that. If I have legitimate reason to feel good about myself... I would rather feel good about myself... rather than have legitimate or illegitimate reasons to be clobbering myself with negativity and brain busting hammers. :lol:

Hey. I'm not a Saint. :lol: :lol: And, I never will be a Saint! :lol:

And, I might be wrong more times that I am right. That doesn't bother me. If I wasn't wrong... then I'd be perfect... and some nuts would be nailing nails in my hands to hang me on a cross! :wink:

The fact that I am perfectly imperfect has it's advantages for me. Right or wrong... I can feel good about myself and my achievements... using the tools that God has provided to me, along with His help, guidance and direction... so that I can make successful achievements.

So, I'd have to say, that according to my perception of pride... I would rather be proud instead of guilty, remorseful, depressed, and ashamed of myself.

And, while we're on the topic of pride...

I'm proud of our military guys. The men and women who risk their lives to make the country (yes, I'm proud of my country, too)... a wonderful place where I can work towards successful achievements, safely.

I'm also proud of police officers. I'm proud of our veterans.

For me, the kind of pride that I'm referring to... might be a kin to gratitude. At least it feels that way, to me.

Now, I know there is other kinds of pride... like Egoism, arrogance, vanity, but to me, those things aren't really pride... they're substitutes for pride.

Dallas B.
Dallas
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4781
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Postby Rusty Zipper » Wed Mar 18, 2009 3:39 am

great topic...

i remember my dear departed sponsor saying to this guy who was a cronic slipper...

years of in and out

he said

"hey, why dont you just put some False-Pride in, and say, hey, I'll show you guys i can do it!"

it took awhile for me to get the false-pride bit!

happy trudging

rz
Rusty Zipper
 
Posts: 371
Joined: Fri Jul 29, 2005 11:19 pm
Location: My Room in CT.

Postby Dallas » Wed Mar 18, 2009 12:11 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: Imagine that! I understand! :lol: :lol: :lol:
Dallas
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4781
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Postby Jools » Wed Mar 18, 2009 1:33 pm

Dallas, you're silly! :wink:

Sunlight, I really like what you said here......

All that I am has been given to me by my Father. How can I take the kudos? If I do his work well, by allowing Him to work through me & live the way He wants me to, I feel great! And it doesn't fade away. No need to polish those apples, or for self-esteem or feel-good mind games. It's so much more than that!
I am a child of God, & as such, am to be treated with love & kindness, & so is everyone else! No room for pride there.
Ever say about someone who displays prideful arrogance, "Who does he think he is?"
He's that way because he doesn't know or has forgotten who he is!


For me, when I came into the rooms, I didn't have much pride. An online dictionary defines it as "A sense of ones own proper dignity or value; self respect" I beat myself into the ground day after day and night after night. I was afraid to stop drinking and afraid not to. One of the first things my sponsor told me was to put the stick down. I just broke down crying. The guilt and remorse were almost unbearable, I was a basket case.

Thankfully, I have self respect today, but it's only by Gods grace and AA. I take no credit, I just do what people tell me to do, try to be the person I should have been all along and hang tight to God and AA. Someone said at a meeting, if you want self esteem, do estimable things. Funny how that works in my life today.

Julie
Jools
 
Posts: 267
Joined: Thu Sep 18, 2008 8:50 am
Location: Wilmington NC

Postby sunlight » Wed Mar 18, 2009 6:38 pm

Ah, memories... :D

When I first joined this site, it was our own dear Cessie who wrote:

"The way to get rid of a low self-esteem is to do esteemable things."


That sounded so right, so true.

Not just good things, but honorable, with valor, almost royal.

And, I remember trying to do these things in early sobriety because I HAD to - my butt was falling off & I needed to insure immunity from drinking. I did it for me.

Then, I kept on trying to expand my spiritual life by self-sacrifice for others, because I ought to. It was just the right thing to do, since so much had been given to me. Plus, I was staying sober & things were happening & my butt was attached, but loosely! :lol:

Then I noticed I was giving cuz I really wanted to. Not only was it enjoyable & often fun, but it enlarged me. I was actually behaving as my Father's child!

Dallas hit it. It IS gratitude - that "good pride".

I have been given the grace, the tools, the fellowship to get & stay sober, so I do whatever's needed - in happy gratitude to be my Father's child.

It's like Johnny Appleseed - he just flung those seeds around even though he knew he'd never see the fruits. But he knew some would grow because of God's goodness. Johnny had to do the planting. Then went on his merry way filled with gratitude that he was given the chance to do this esteemable thing in conjunction with his Father.

Dallas silly? You bet - sometimes! :lol:

Dallas sensible? Always! :mrgreen: Thanks, friend. You help us all. :wink:

( Hi Rusty Patrick! :D Nice to see you driving by! )
sunlight
 
Posts: 597
Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2008 12:03 pm
Location: Denver Co

Postby ROBERT » Thu Mar 19, 2009 9:41 am

you guys & gals r great.....this is a wonderfull way to live,i really enjoy this site....thanks....p.s. i just had a call from the county jail here that i wanted to start a.a. meetings --they had to run a background check---10 yrs. since i've been in jail--but they declined my request-- i stated that my experience in going to jail,over & over is the idea behind coming in there to share w/the guys..they don't have to live that way..oh well,life is good but sometimes i'm left just scratching my head!...ROBERT
ROBERT
 
Posts: 272
Joined: Sun Feb 08, 2009 2:09 am
Location: ILLINOIS

Postby DebbieV » Thu Mar 19, 2009 2:09 pm

I like the way Dallas wrote about pride. It is something I find myself fighting with from time to time. Pride in myself.

I just moved to a new town and started my life over (yet again) but this is the first time I have done it sober. :shock:
I left almost everything I had with the "expectation" that it would all be delivered to me in a month or so.....Well it never came. So I have to really start over with furniture, dishes, pans, prints, you get the idea.
Along with the things not getting delivered neither did my money....

So this is what my thinking came up with...I opened a checking account with the little money I did have, called and ordered some furniture, they were going to deliver it and I would write a hot check, pay off the check when I got some money and all would be well. Everyone would get paid and I would keep my pride when people came to my house and saw that I was sleeping on a bed now and not the floor....

The day before I was going to put my clever plan into motion I was cleaning out my purse and found a print out of the 3rd step prayer. Holy smack on the head batman....Were had my faith in a higher power gone? Why did I think I could run the show better than him? Where is the world had my principles gone that my sponsor had put in my head? Who was this crazy woman running around in my head and where had the sober woman I had gotten to know, respect, and yes have pride in gone?

So I called and cancled the furniture. Still sleeping on the floor but my brother found a house the next day that he wants and it is furnished.......So, can you guess it? He is giving me all of his furniture..

Did I have pride in myself? You darn skippy... I did the right thing...because it was the right thing to do... I have learned (somtimes the hard way) if I do the right thing than the right thing turns out for me.

I am proud of the person I have become and the person I am growing into everyday. Somedays I fall and some days I shine as bright as the sun....


Deb
DebbieV
 
Posts: 213
Joined: Thu Jun 21, 2007 12:22 pm
Location: Silverton, Co

Next

Return to A. A. Meeting Topics

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests









.








12 Step Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery | - PRIDE..GOOD&BAD?



cron