I was just getting ready to post & ask everyone here to keep you in their prayers as you go for surgery, & you beat me here! God bless you; you are a beautiful man & have helped so many of us, myself especially.
I was going to put this under the topic "God's grace" because that's where I shared a little about what had been going on with me. But, I'll keep it here
because it's about letting go .
Ever since I joined this site, when I was in a slump in my sobriety, I knew a change was coming. I'd been in that place before & was anticipating a newness, but I didn't know what it was.
Then, things started happening that looked & felt awful. My heart was crushed by a man I truly cared about, disappointments, failures, rejections,
heartaches. What was going on? What was I doing wrong to warrent all this hurt? My new boss who was attacking me at every turn was the final straw. I was on the verge of "Murder, she wrote"! I began to see a pattern in it that seemed to have been with me all my life. I applied the steps to all of it, talked to many people, worked with others & didn't let up on all the things I do to stay sober & even increased them.
And I noticed pieces were coming together like a puzzle. I started paying close attention to everything
. There was something that I needed to learn and live and the time was NOW. I got deep into step 11. I relaxed & took it easy. The picture was starting to form, but slowly.
Then, last weekend, a post that you Paul, wrote to Julie, popped into my head & it hit me in my soul, in a place that the intellectual knowledge of it had never hit before.
"What I see causing the most harm to you Julie is the thing that you're not letting go of. And that is who you see in the mirror, & how you see her, & what you feel about her."
And the full impact of that blasted my heart open in a way I've never experienced before! I knew
in the biblical sense, that I was a child of God who was to be treated with love, kindness & respect & so was everyone else. I had known this in my head of course, but I had not behaved that way!
I can't effectively explain how that changed the entire course of action in my life. But, it did & the peace & power that came with it has 4th dimension
all over it!
Even my boss & I are working together smoothly & I actually make her laugh!
And I am friends now with the man who hurt me & am blown away.
God bless you all. We help each other when we're down & allow ourselves to be
helped & stay sober through it all! What a gift!