- Where can I find information on being a sponsor?

Where can I find information on being a sponsor?




Discussions related to Sponsors, Sponsoring, Working with others,

Where can I find information on being a sponsor?

Postby Dallas » Fri Aug 19, 2005 9:04 pm

Where can I find information on being a sponsor?



Early one morning I received an email from an AA member asking "Where can I find information on being a sponsor".

I'm often asked this question in person, but when I received the email, I thought it would be good to add the Sponsor Forum to our site, and use his question, and the reply, as the first topic here.

Below, I posted my answer to the question:

Hello (name removed),

Thanks for your question. The best information that I've ever found on being a sponsor, is the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Particularly, Chapter 7 Working With Others, and Chapter 11, A Vision For You. It gives pretty detailed instructions on being a sponsor, even though the word "sponsor" is not mentioned.

Perhaps you’ve noticed, that in the Big Book, in the first 164 pages, the word “sponsorâ€
Dallas
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4781
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Postby Woodstock » Sun Nov 13, 2005 1:26 pm

If I had 50 yrs in AA would I still have a sponsor?


I roll the question above around in my head sometimes on sponsorship.

Seems to me the sponsor is there to help the newcomer focus and teach them the way to a life far more rewarding than experienced to date. Now considering the newcomer has gone through the steps and is on the road to happy destiny, do sponsors step back and let the newbie follow the dictates of his/her HP?

Where is the line drawn between sponsorship and friendship?

My understanding of the BB in this area (when I look at the big picture) is there seems to be a point at which time we let go and watch our sponcees and their families ride off into the sunset happily everafter (we hope). We are still connected but our role has changed. Kinda like a parent raising us from infancy and letting us go into the world prepared and ready to stand on our own two feet.

My current sponsor is older and wiser and works just great. If by the grace of God I lived to be 100 he won't be here and options for older and wiser won't be there. On the other hand, a sponsor younger and (wiser)? Hmmmmmm, OK exercise in humility - IF I'm connected to my HP and have lengthy sobriety I wouldn't need a sponsor in the physical world 'cause I have one in the spirit world.

Surely I've generated some responses and can hardly wait for your experience, strength, and hope. I truly welcome some ideas in this area; I sense I have an unsettled issue.
:?
EASY DOES IT,

Jim
Woodstock
 
Posts: 25
Joined: Sun Nov 06, 2005 10:50 pm
Location: Pensacola, FL

Postby JR » Sun Nov 13, 2005 2:30 pm

I didn't have a sponsor when I relpsed. I think we never outgrow the need to grow. When left to our own devises we are self-deceived people, even with long term sobriety. We can always find someone who is further along the path than ourselves. In the BB it refers to a "spiritual adviser" which leads me to believe this person could be found outside of AA. Father Dowling was a spiritual adviser to Bill Wilson.

When the student is ready, the teacher appears. If we are ready and willing and ask the HP to provide us with the teacher, they always show up in our path, at least that has been my experience. Sometimes we don't want to see that teacher, because then we have to go to work.

I have to get going, otherwise I would spend a little more time on this. I'm sure you will get other responses.

Easy Does It,

JR
JR
 
Posts: 132
Joined: Sun Aug 21, 2005 4:24 am
Location: Pacific Northwest

Postby Dallas » Sun Nov 13, 2005 5:06 pm

Hey Jim!!! Glad you're here!!!

The questions you asked are great questions!

My mind loves to think and to figure out. It loves to analyze, debate, argue, reason, and seek the deeper meanings of philosophy and reality... and the higher levels of spirituality and spiritual knowledge!

I love to think just like I loved to drink! I love to read. Over the years I’ve read hundreds if not thousands of books on spirituality, religion, psychology, quantum physics, and even kite making! (I try to keep well rounded... but I do have an inner-addiction to the abstract things that I can think long and hard about... and to never have a satisfactory answer! If I ever found the answer... there wouldn’t be a need to think!) This could be one of the reasons that my mind can be so good... but at the same time, so dangerous to me! I can get a really good buzz just on thinking!

I still read a lot of books on my favorite thinking topics. I’m always looking to see if someone has discovered something new... or has a new light to shed on something ancient.

Just the other day, I was reading a book that I’m enjoying, and the author is mentioning something like what one of your questions was. “Whyâ€
Dallas
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4781
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Postby JR » Mon Nov 14, 2005 2:05 am

In addition to chapter 7 and chapter 11 in the BB I would also use the essay on step 12 in the 12x12. Also, if you type in your search engine of choice (I use google) "AA sponsor" you will find a pamphlet written by Clarence Snyder that is the original directions on sponsorship.

The BB doesn't really say that I, as a sober member of AA need a sponsor to stay sober as far as I can tell. It does, however, say that I must sponsor new members in my practice of step 12.

Even in doing a 5th step the BB doesn't talk about a sponsor it says that if I belong to a religious denomination which requires a confession I must go to the properly appointed authority whose duty it is to receive it. Even if I am not connected to a religion I may still do well to talk with someone ordained by an established religion. It says that if I cannot or would rather not do this I should search out a close-mouthed, understanding friend (AA sponsor?). Perhaps our doctor or psychologist will be the person.

For step 3 it suggests doing it with an understanding person (AA sponsor?), such as our wife/husband, best friend or spiritual adviser.

I have had good and bad experiences with having a sponsor. Right now, I am having a good sponsorship experience. My sponsor is helping me walk through the steps and in this process we are becoming friends. I like the idea of having a spiritual adviser and hope that my HP will put one in my path because I think it would be cool. Anyway, I am definitely open to it.

For you, Woody, it is a moot point. You already have a sponsor. I think, for those of us who have relapsed, it is the safest course of action to participate in a sponsorship relationship. We need to get connected as quickly as possible and the best way to do that is to be sponsored.

Easy Does It,

JR
JR
 
Posts: 132
Joined: Sun Aug 21, 2005 4:24 am
Location: Pacific Northwest

Postby Dallas » Mon Nov 14, 2005 4:05 pm

Interesting notation on Clarence S., the Home Brewmeister. Does anyone know who his sponsor was?

I've read his pamphlet and it appears that his ideas on sponsorship were never accepted by Bill W., nor with many of the other Pioneer's of AA, who got sober in New York, nor in many other places outside of Cleveland.

It's also interesting to note, as far as I can tell, that Alcoholics Anonymous never included his pamphlet in any of the AA literature that was or is considered as "Official AA Literature." If I'm mistaken on this, I would appreciate it if anyone has other information, to pass it on to me.

I'm grateful that AA is not a religious organization, not affiliated with any particular flavor or brand of God, and doesn't have any opinions or ideas for or against any particular religious approach to getting sober.

If religion would have worked for alcoholics like myself, I guess AA wouldn't have needed to save a chair for me.

If you keep digging... you're sure to find something!

Dallas
Dallas
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4781
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Sponsor Forum

Postby samantha » Thu Nov 17, 2005 11:08 am

:P :P

I have nevery been without a sponsor.......I'm sooo gratfull to my sponsor. Someone has to keep this silly old Alky in check :lol: :lol:

My experience is that I've never, ever been without a sponsor. If I can't reach my own sponsor for some particular reason, she's besy too you know, I'll call another alky that has more time than me and I always get my answers. Funny how that works :!:

xoxoxSam
samantha
 
Posts: 20
Joined: Thu Sep 15, 2005 12:03 pm
Location: Northern California

Postby JR » Mon Nov 21, 2005 12:30 am

AA World Services Qestions and Answers on Sponsorship Pg. 25:

[WHEN AND HOW DOES THE SPONSOR LET THE NEWCOMER GO?

Usually the relationship does not really end at any definite point. Without any discussion, it just changes gradually as the newcomer grows in AA. A wise sponsor is delighted when the new member begins to take initiative in making a widening circle of friends, becomes active in the group, and extends the hand of welcome to the latest newcomers.

A successful sponsor - newcomer partnership is a special sort of bond, remembered gratefully on each side, even if the two no longer are close. But it may also develop into a lasting friendship, and when it does, both partners have been heard to say, "Now we sponsor each other."]

There is a lot of info in the pamphlet. The day I picked the pamphlet up before a meeting, I happened to sit near a woman who was really wondering about a sponsor and how to get one and what they do etc. I just happend to have a handy dandy pamphlet in my hand which I gave to her and later picked up another one for myself.

Love Each Day,

JR
JR
 
Posts: 132
Joined: Sun Aug 21, 2005 4:24 am
Location: Pacific Northwest


Return to Sponsors Forum

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest









.








12 Step Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery | - Where can I find information on being a sponsor?