- <<<AND WHEN WE ARE WRONG>>>

<<<AND WHEN WE ARE WRONG>>>




12 Steps: Discussions related to the 12 Steps and using them as a treatment to recover from alcohol and drug addiction.

<<<AND WHEN WE ARE WRONG>>>

Postby ROBERT » Fri Apr 10, 2009 6:41 pm

YA KNOW I DO NOT LIKE HAVING TO OWN A WRONG.. OR MAYBE BETTER YET ADMITTING I AM OUT OF LINE,TO ANOTHER....TODAY THAT HAPPENED...I WAS DISHONEST W/ANOTHER AND WAS CONFRONTED ABOUT IT!THE FELLOW WAS ON THE PHONE AND WAS DRINKING WHEN THIS CAME UP SO I CHOOSE TO WAIT TILL MONDAY MORN. WHEN HE WILL BE @ WORK SOBER TO MAKE MY AMENDS....I FELT DISSAPOINTED,HURT,EMBARASSED....NONE OF THE FEELINGS WERE PLEASANT...."THANK GOD" THE PROGRAM HAS SHOWN ME HOW TO DEAL W/NEGATIVE FEELINGS...DO THE RIGHT THING....MAKE THE AMENDS- MOVE ON,LEARN FROM IT....IMPORTANT PIECE OF THE PUZZLE IS TO USE STEP 5....VERY IMPORTANT I SHARE WHATS GOING ON IN MY LIFE W/OTHERS...I AM GRATEFUL FOR A.A. AND THE WAY IT SHOWS ME TO LIVE....TO LAY DOWN W/A CLEAR CONSCIENCE
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Postby ccs » Fri Apr 10, 2009 11:29 pm

Thank-You ! for sharing that Robert I hate to own those wrongs TOO!!
but when I came to A.A. and they told me to do so would help me stay sober and help me to sleep better at night it didnt seem as bad as the alternative !!!

and good choice on waiting till He`s sober I know from personal experience that you cant argue or have a serious talk with a drunk :D

thanks for being here I luv to see your words! :wink:
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Postby Dallas » Sat Apr 11, 2009 11:05 am

Robert wrote:"THANK GOD" THE PROGRAM HAS SHOWN ME HOW TO DEAL W/NEGATIVE FEELINGS...DO THE RIGHT THING....MAKE THE AMENDS- MOVE ON,LEARN FROM IT....


Thanks Robert!

I didn't like to admit wrongs. Then, something changed as a result of taking the Steps. I changed!!! :lol:

Now, I don't mind admitting when I'm wrong. It's actually kind of nice and refreshing.... and it feels so much better, faster, than all the negative energy that I used to have to exert to try to hide something. Also... by admitting it prompty... I get prompt relief... and I don't have to worry about something from the past coming up to bite me on my current butt! :lol:

What was hardest for me to get used to doing was to: Move on and learn from it.

You see, even after I would make the amends -- I would use the incident to continue clubbing myself over the head about making the wrong! :lol:

That too has changed.

One of the past problems that I had -- that sometimes revisits me -- was to forgive myself. To take it easy. And, to give myself a break. To laugh at myself or talk to myself in a cheerful and encouraging way.

Dallas
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Postby ROBERT » Sat Apr 11, 2009 1:44 pm

Yea i heard it called rule 62!
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Re: <<<AND WHEN WE ARE WRONG>>>

Postby Jim W » Wed Jun 03, 2009 9:06 am

ROBERT wrote:YA KNOW I DO NOT LIKE HAVING TO OWN A WRONG.. OR MAYBE BETTER YET ADMITTING I AM OUT OF LINE,TO ANOTHER....TODAY THAT HAPPENED...I WAS DISHONEST W/ANOTHER AND WAS CONFRONTED ABOUT IT!THE FELLOW WAS ON THE PHONE AND WAS DRINKING WHEN THIS CAME UP SO I CHOOSE TO WAIT TILL MONDAY MORN. WHEN HE WILL BE @ WORK SOBER TO MAKE MY AMENDS....I FELT DISSAPOINTED,HURT,EMBARASSED....NONE OF THE FEELINGS WERE PLEASANT...."THANK GOD" THE PROGRAM HAS SHOWN ME HOW TO DEAL W/NEGATIVE FEELINGS...DO THE RIGHT THING....MAKE THE AMENDS- MOVE ON,LEARN FROM IT....IMPORTANT PIECE OF THE PUZZLE IS TO USE STEP 5....VERY IMPORTANT I SHARE WHATS GOING ON IN MY LIFE W/OTHERS...I AM GRATEFUL FOR A.A. AND THE WAY IT SHOWS ME TO LIVE....TO LAY DOWN W/A CLEAR CONSCIENCE


Me too, especially the longer I am sober. I would rather roll in cow manure than admit that I'm wrong or have made a mistake. I just noticed this not long ago and should take a look at it. I think it is the ego wanting to maintain it's integrity at the cost of my serenity and possibly my sobriety. The ego doesn't care. I think this is what is meant by "You can't save your face and your a** at the same time."

On the other hand, this does seem to keep me in check. Even it is just the ego wanting to save face. Or maybe the path just gets narrower.
Jim


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Postby tim-one » Wed Jun 03, 2009 9:51 am

Thanks, y'all. How come this and meetings are always about ME? It's really creepin' me out .........LORD.

Being sober doesn't make me cool ALL THE TIME.

"No one among us has been able to maintain ANYTHING LIKE perfect adherence to these principles." I AIN'T NO SAINT!

But I AM claiming progress these days.

I'm finding that I flub up when I'm not carrying myself in humility, taking myself too dam serious. As Jim W alluded, I become a butt-face. And as Robert said, to admit fault is bareassing. Simply pride,ego over-ruling humility.

Hey, ya cain't be cool all the time. Admitting it immediately, or as soon as apropos, is much less embarassing than getting called on it.

And, like Dallas admits, I mull over every stoopid, even insignificant thing I ever did that embarrassed me for the rest of my life. Even if I did right, I replay the incident over and over and over thinking what I coulda shoulda said.

Happened the other day "admonishing" a young father for leaving his little girl in the car while he went into the store. ("It is better that a millstone be hung around your neck and cast into the sea" than that Tim should see you messin' with a kid.) Coulda shoulda .... ugh. :roll:

AWRITE AWREDY! Done. Over. No redos. Fuhgedaboutit!

Just because I did a step doesn't mean it's gone. Gotta practice when it comes up again. Noticing it comes first.

Love,
Tim1
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Postby ROBERT » Wed Jun 03, 2009 12:41 pm

What great insights....to read tim-one,and jim w.shows me RECOVERY DOES HAPPEN,along w/the others.To see first hand ,in black and white healthy thinking is VERY encouraging.My mind at times has a mind of it's own and my perceptions of me and the world around me can seem real,feel real,but in reality my PERCEPTIONS are not reality based,i may be buying in to some old belief system and at the moment NOT SEE IT AS "OLD IDEAS" as HOW IT WORKS puts it.My feelings are great tools for me as in when i'm down,depressed,or any number of negative feelings,fit here, the point is,feeling negative has become an indicator for me that i am more likely; not in reality.The 4th step principle has taught me to inventory in ways i could not imagine when i first started recovery,it allows me freedom from the bondage of SELF,my old ideas,perceptions,what ever we want to label them,these old thought patterns are archieved in my mind and they can come at any giving time depending on what is going on in my life,some situation can bring them back to life at an instant,so in the 12x12 a line i really agree with says,paraphrasing of course,nothing short of CONTINUOUS EFFORT ON THESE PRINCIPLES AS A WAY OF LIFE CAN BRING ABOUT THE DESIRED CHANGE.I desire to be free of the chains that bind me, and there are many, and as time goes by more are revealed. As long as i want the desired change, have the courage to do the work, with knowing today there a many levels of being restored to SANITY,helps keep me green and growing,as i see it this recovery business is open ended,the skys the limit.A counsler years ago said to me when i was right at the start of my recovery-- "How healthy you get is on you"--words i've not forgotten,words for me that are so very true.
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Postby tim-one » Wed Jun 03, 2009 1:16 pm

Thanks for reminding me Robert.

Yeah, when I came in I was excited to get a full lung of air I'd been drowning so long.

I had to remember that it took me 56 years building my public facade. After so long I forgot where I put all the doors and walls and even why I put them there in the first place.

Since I started drinking, I'd spent 40 years tearing down parts and slapping putty over them. The BEAST did a lot of sub-contracting at first and eventually took over the business.

I had to be told not to get too fine too fast. "Easy does it" and all that. Made sense to me. I'd always started things zealously and burned out before the deal was done.

Don't panic. RELAX. Enjoy being sober. It beats the hell outa ... well ... HELL.

When God gives you something to work on, just do that ... calmly and thoughtfully.

AA is exactly the old quote: "The journey IS the destination".

Our journey is short. It only takes 24 hours. Then we get a new journey on the same road. I hope I never get to the end. That would mean God is finished with me.

Love ya, bro.
Tim1
Thank God I'm an alcoholic!

Sorry. Didn't think I was gonna get so philosofull. Bugs me, too. :roll:
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Postby ROBERT » Wed Jun 03, 2009 2:43 pm

the journey is the destination,well put Tim. I've learned the lessons I NEED to learn that are for me personally-other people will attempt to guide me,advise me,at times want to control my actions through what seems to them right at the time,only later discover the futility of good intentions,disguising motives that are issues needed to be worked through,i see these today in others clearly at times ,not so clearly at times,only because i have DONE THESE THINGS MY SELF TO OTHERS,part of my journey.The literature tells me it is all part of growing,at times painful,anyhow my lessons are my lessons,no human power could relieve me of my alcoholism,nor teach me the lessons i NEED to learn on a spiritual basis.thers is a big difference between some one helping me by telling me the bad experience they had with a company-vs- telling me i should divorce,one is a personal,spiritual issue the other is not,for me it's obvious.So when the literature speaks of "WE WILL FIND IT FUTILE TO BECOME ANGRY AT OTHERS FOR STRUGGLING THRU THE PAINS OF GROWING UP.Stay positive,enjoy this thing called life,one day my heart WILL stop beating,thats a fact,not morbid thinking--so to be able to live 2 lives in one life time as far as i'm concerned has been a privalidge,and i say that because today i get to share this w/others w/the message of hope,but we each have our own personal journies to trek,as we TRUDGE THE ROAD TO HAPPY DESTINY,OR MY VERSION IS WE HAPPILY TRUDGE THIS ROAD TO OUR DESTINY. LOVE AND PEACE TIM
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Postby tim-one » Wed Jun 03, 2009 4:36 pm

You be right, bro.

It's MY program and MY relationship with HP.

"In the counsel of many is wisdom."

Hahahahahaha ... but I learned I have to take a lot of it with a grain of salt. Some of it goes against my grain and I spit out what's too salty. :P Sometimes the wisdom is knowing which advice to ignore.

But these days, it's very useful to me to check my thinking against others. I don't trust myself as much as I insisted on not long ago. :roll:

You go, boy! Go with God.

Love,
Tim1
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12 Step Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery | - <<<AND WHEN WE ARE WRONG>>>