Welcome to the forum! Nice to hear from you.
I was drunk when I got in a few relationships -- and when I sobered up -- it was OMG!!! So... I just started drinking again... and repeat the cycle.
To top that one off... after I got sober for keeps ... I got in a relationship -- and when my emotions sobered up -- it was OMG!!! What have I done!
According to many people I've met -- regardless if they're AA or not -- they've woken up one morning and said... OMG!!! What have I done!
In AA, I've met those who stayed in the relationship and those that left it.
When I finally got AA sobriety -- my relationship was already gone so I didn't have to think about it. I think that made it easier on me. When I was newly sober -- it took all the energy that I could muster -- just to deal with my own stuff. If I had been in a relationship, I doubt that I could have stayed sober. But, that's me. Others seem to be just the opposite.
How long have you been sober?
Best wishes, and keep coming back! Hopefully, there will be someone here in the forum that has personal experience that more closely identifies with your situation and they can share their experience as they understood it for them.