- No reason to celebrate!

No reason to celebrate!




Alcoholics and Addicts sharing their personal recovery story with us to help others who want to recover.

No reason to celebrate!

Postby BostonGuy » Sun May 17, 2009 1:11 pm

I have been a lurker for a few weeks and decided to finally register.

About 90 days ago I decided "enough was enough", those weren't the words I was thinking at the time, but I have come to learn that was my conclusion.

After 38 years of drinking the time had come to move on. Sitting in bed at 3am staring at the wall and wondering how my life was so empty and without any purpose except to drink and get drunk.

The next day I called the only person I knew in AA. I don't remember what I said in that very brief phone call, but all I heard was "I'll pick you up in 15 minutes and we are going to a meeting".

Unfortunately that friend has left the program, but he did point me in the right direction and introduced me to some "Old Timers" that have taken me under their wings.

Today is day 90, but that is no reason to celebrate. I'm just grateful to be sober today.

BostonGuy
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Postby DebbieV » Sun May 17, 2009 3:45 pm

Hey BostonGuy,

I can totally understand why you feel like there is no reason to celebrate. But, I am going to say this anyway…CONGRAULATIONS ON 90 DAYS SOBER!!!

I remember my first 90 days like it was yesterday. Well, it was only 6 months ago. I found it hard to celebrate being sober at times, I still had moments that I hurt inside what the things I had done in the past, being almost 40 and just now getting sober, what kind a mom I had been and so on..
However, having done my steps at that point in my sobriety and making an honest effort to read pg 83-88 in the Big Book everyday, I would read the following:

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are halfway through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the work serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish thins and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

These 9th step promises, reading them everyday, finally started happening. Today my life is a celebration. And I would bet if you take the steps, get a sponsor, read the book, and most important don’t drink, your life will be a celebration too.

Welcome to the site, I look forward to reading more about your life on this journey of sobriety.

Debbie
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Postby Dallas » Sun May 17, 2009 7:51 pm

Hello BostonGuy! Welcome to the forum!!!
Nice to hear from you -- and I guarantee -- the more you participate here in the forums, and in AA -- it will get better!

Congratulations on your 90 days!!! If your 90 days was anything like mine -- I'm surprized that you survived it! :lol:

I understand. And, I remember when I had 90 days... just as though it was yesterday... and that's been over 22 years ago! (Yes. No drinking or drugs in between)! :lol:

A suggestion that was given to me was: "Find some Old-timers and start hanging out with them. Discover what they did -- to make it to Old-timer -- then, do what they did -- and I would have an opportunity to one-day become one of them." It worked. It really did -- and still does.

I look forward to reading more from you and to getting to know you. I really enjoy being around those that can help me keep it first and foremost in my mind and memories of "what I was like -- what I went through -- and what it's like for me, today."

Best wishes to you,

Dallas B.
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Postby Jools » Wed May 20, 2009 10:56 am

Hiya Bostonguy and a big warm welcome to the forum and to sobriety!!!

Congratulations on your 90 something days sober!!! That's great and it does get better. I can even drive by the liquor store now and not look over at it longingly. :wink: Now I don't even realize when I'm going by one.

It really helped me to take really good care of myself. I had to be reminded to eat a nutritious breakfast, not to get too tired, especially not to get too angry cuz that's a BIG trigger for me. I want to say "screw it" when I"m angry and I was angry a lot. I had to ask a Higher Power to help me stay sober each morning and to thank Him each night. Those little things helped me get thru each day til I started working the steps.

I'm so happy you've decided to join us.

Keep coming back!
Julie

PS: CELEBRATE those successes, you're doing a great thing for yourself and those around you. Hugs to you!
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Postby Worm » Wed May 20, 2009 4:52 pm

Congrats on the 90 days! I remember mine, it was only 6 months ago. Just keep it simple and dont try to analyze everything like I did.

The one thing that really helped me was to get with people just like me now. When I was drinking, I only wanted to be with other drinkers and could not stand to be around sober folks.

Now, I look forward to the meetings and the fellowship with people that want the same thing I want, sobriety.

It does get better each day as long as I keep doing what they tell me. Good to have you here.......
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Postby ROBERT » Thu May 21, 2009 7:54 am

Hey Bostonguy...Welcome,I too remember the beginning of this journey..tough indeed but w/alot of love and my willingness,well i don't want to go thru it again...life is good-working THE program is the only thing that has worked for me and many others that are real alcoholics.Hang in there,looking forward to hearing more from you....looking to help others even early,was drilled or strongly suggested to me at first,I did what was suggested (willingness) and today I see the huge value in that suggestion and how it helped....."Best Wishes"
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Postby GeoffS » Fri May 22, 2009 1:53 am

90 days or 90 years, they both have the same disease, they both need the same reprieve for 24 hours, they both need to take the same actions to maintain their spiritual fitness.

At 90 years taking these actions will come easier as those people have done it for more days.

Doesn't mean life is easier.

I've said before on, I hate hearing folk say I've only got 90 days up. 90 days is bloody wonderful if you be alcoholic of the type in the big book, its a miracle, and 90 days is bloody amazing, ask anyone who just came in!!!
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Postby garden variety » Fri May 22, 2009 2:16 pm

Hi BostonGuy,

Welcome and congrats on your continuing journey of sobriety.

For some wild and unknown reason, I kept a written "journal" of my thoughts throughout my last months of drinking and my first couple years of sobriety. Whenever I read from it today, I laugh out loud and call it " a jornal of a madman".

I hate to say this, but I was pretty crude. I was full of myself (egotistical), and I was bouncing back and forth with (ugh!) - GIRLS and RELATIONSHIPS. Falling in and out of "love" (yeah right! :roll: ). I read some of this insane journalling today, and I was totally puzzled - my mind drew a blank. I did what? I said what? I was making moves on 3-4 women at one time! And I was cocky on top of that! The things that made me really laugh were little comments I jotted down like:

"I'm a bit restless and in need of a vacation and some renewal. I don't know who I should visit or where I should roam." :lol:

"A new year has begun. I have begun to arise from one of the most depressing and poverty stricken times of recent memory. I feel like I've lost so much. And I'm only on the short side of recovery." :shock:

"Why is it that I so frequently journal about a love that flys south? Why are there no success stories in this melancholy drama since the end of "Act II" [prior marriage ending in divorce]?" :roll:

and here's the best one!

"Sometimes I wonder about the intensity and drama I tend to add to an event."
OH GAWD! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Well BostonGuy, that was me around 90 days sober.

I was a mess. I was so up and down, over and under, sideways and about. Today I'm rolling on the floor :lol: because I was so mixed up that it's comical. I used to honestly believe some pretty grandiose things about myself, and when those things fell into a black hole, I was sooooo DEVASTATED!

All that to say, if sobriety still works for me ten years after those first ninety jiggly days, then by golly, I'm sure it can work for you too!

God bless and thanks for showing up and helping me today!

Paul
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!!

Postby BostonGuy » Thu Jul 16, 2009 10:20 pm

[quote="garden variety"] I used to honestly believe some pretty grandiose things about myself.

GV, I thought I was the only one! :lol:

By the grace of God I'm sober today (#150).

I have latched onto shirt tails of a few "Old Timers" and I'm hanging on with both hands!

One of the speakers last Monday night talked about "FREEDOM". I was enthralled with what he had to say. I'm no longer a hostage of the bottle!

The last few years of my drinking I was held hostage by the bottle. From Friday night until Monday morning (sometimes Tuesday) I would rarely leave the house except to buy more booze.

This past weekend was filled with wonderful activities OUTSIDE my house. Cookout with AA friends, AA meetings, doing yard work (neighbors are so grateful) and even playing a little tennis! Despite the sunburn and tennis elbow it was a wonderful weekend! :D

Freedom is great!

Boston Guy
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