- I found Him, I lost Him, I found Him, I lost Him ......

I found Him, I lost Him, I found Him, I lost Him ......




Personal experiences with a Higher Power of your own understanding.

I found Him, I lost Him, I found Him, I lost Him ......

Postby tim-one » Thu Jun 11, 2009 2:09 pm

Disclaimer:
This is a convoluted story. I’ve no doubt, it will be controversial to many. My purpose is purely personal; to understand how I got into a chair in AA meetings. My request is that the reader keep an open mind. It will be easy to start debates in ones own mind over some things I might say. If someone needs to or can hear it, fine. It is not my intention to convince anyone that my God should be anyone else’s. Some of my experiences may be beneficial to some who are struggling at this time to realize a Higher Power. If so, that’s great. If not, no skin off my teeth. Do what you need to do for you.

Uh … Claimer: :?:
This essay helped me greatly. I had several “DOH!â€
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Postby sunlight » Fri Jun 12, 2009 7:39 pm

Darby O'Gill, Yosemite Sam and iceboxes! How about Sherman & Peabody and the way-back machine? Thank you for the memories and your Higher Power quest.

You made me think of one night when I was raging drunk. I ran out in the back yard and shook my fist up at the sky at God and yelled, "What am I supposed to Dooo...?"
I heard a voice boom in my head that thundered, "I AM WITH YOU."
I was confused. It sure wasn't telling me what to do. It was telling me what He is. Shook me pretty bad.

Never heard anything before or after that in quite that way.

Thanks for that memory too!

So, when's the movie? :lol:

Thanks for being you, Sunlight
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Postby tim-one » Fri Jun 12, 2009 8:09 pm

Whew. I'm so glad I'm not the only one. Maybe we can get your man's voice and my woman's voice together. :P

I don't know if I can sell the movie. I thought about putting a couple of intermissions in the story. I know I had a few potty breaks. :lol:

You betcha. Sherman and Peabody, Aesop's Fables,

Tommy Turtle - "HELP ME MISTER WIZRRRRRRD! I DON"T WANT TO BE A DRUNK ANY MORE!" "Frizzle frazzle frozzle frome. Time for this one to come home."

Tom Slick where I got my initials. TS. - "There's no such word as 'no' in AA, Marigold." I adopted his logo for my signing initials and poyms.

Ricochet Rabbit - "PING ping PINNNNNNNNG". That was me in rehab when they took away my ADHD meds.

Ah, take me back. Good sponsorship for a kid. :P

Thanks, Sunny.
Tim1
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Postby Dallas » Sat Jun 13, 2009 1:05 am

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

You two funny!!! :lol:

Thank you!

I better keep the voices I heard -- to myself!!! :oops:

Wouldn't want to drive anyone back to drinking! :lol:

It took a lot of time to figure out if I was listening to the Master or the Memorex! So much time... that I'm still waiting to figure it out! :lol:

Thank you for your sharing. Very moving to read your posts!

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Postby tim-one » Sat Jun 13, 2009 7:52 am

HAHahahahahah ..... thanks for reminding me, Dallas.

In rehab, they give addiction-thinking a name. "Slick". OOOooooo, he's sneaky! Reeeeelly interesting, helpful stuff.

Gives meaning to "While we're in here getting better, the disease is out in the parking lot doing push-ups."

(Disclaimer: "I am an alcoholic".)

I used to berate myself for everything ... and rightly so at the time. I called myself dumass. So I renamed Slick, Dumass. Easy transition for me to turn a bad habit into a good one (in this case). Just a little tweak.

Easy as an alcoholic - blaming ANYONE else for MY crap. Now I get to do it rightly. :P

Useful when I start stinkin' thinkin'. Another voice in my head. I can make HIM go away.

"Everyone else can leave the room. I have to live with me." (I made that up.) :wink:

Thanks for the revolution, Dallas!

Love,
Tim1
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Postby Dallas » Sun Jun 14, 2009 10:54 am

One of the things that's helpful for me, is during my morning and evening meditations and self-analysis... I try to come up with a list of "good things about me." I try to become aware of my good qualities. My talents, skills, abilities, and the good things that I do or have done.... in addition to a list on what I can do better.

I've discovered that for me -- I tend to attract and become what I think about -- all day long. My behaviors are not who I am -- they're just things that I do. So, I ask the question "who am I?" "What am I?" And, I try to remember that if God is a good God -- what kind of good would He want for me?"

I remember a story about a father that asked his little girl "who made you?" And, she replied "No one made me." He said "Oh no. You see, honey, God made you!" And, she said "No He didn't." And, the father said... "Why do you say that?" She said "I'm not made yet. God is still working on me!" :wink:

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Postby angel143 » Sun Jun 14, 2009 12:00 pm

Im so glad you said thats what you do Dallas....

Since the night I realized I was an alcoholic, I started that night, and have done it every morning and night. In the morning, I reflect on the positive and what I am, who I am, and the good I can do that day. At night, I reflect on what I accomplished. Did I give the best that I could THAT day. What could I have done differently, and then to the good stuff...who I am, what I am.

I like me now. I never use to. I always doubted when someone would say they loved me...even family. I could never understand why. Even before I started drinking. I always lived to try to be accepted.

Take me as I am. My flaws are not flaws, they are characteristics that partly make up who I am. My graces are not graces, they are characteristics that partly make up who I am. I am me. I have a good heart and never intentionally hurt anyone. But I do like to say what im thinking. Some people dont like that. I know how and when to be P.C. about it and when to keep my mouth shut. But all in all...I am who I am, like me love me hate me.... all that matters is what I think of me!

And I like me, sometimes I even hint at loving me. I am greatful for being an alcoholic, it has given me a new look on life, and im a better person for it.

Love to all
Heather
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Postby tim-one » Sun Jun 14, 2009 12:38 pm

That's good stuff, Dallas.

"God started me. I oughta let Him finish". Ok, that's goin' in my "snippet" notebook YOU STARTED. :wink:
_________

Heather,

Beautiful attitude you got there.

The Big Book says that our character flaws are self-driven perversions of our basest good instincts for food, safety, procreation, and social-acceptance.

There are a lot of now unrecognizable god things in me that I'd perverted.

The steps are helping me find them and redeem them. (Don't panic at the word "redeem". I'm going to post my "redemption list" in the "Moments of Clarity" forum soon and explainerate my thinkin' on it.)

Remember "Stuart Smalley" (Sat. Night Live)?

"I'm ok. And, dog-gonit ... people like me." :)

Yeah ... I kinda like me now. Seems to be working on peops around me, too. :wink:

Love,
Tim1

PS: Heather is my fav girl-name. Irish, doncha know. I was gonna name my girl Heather. But I kept havin' dadgum boys. :roll: Carry it lovely for me. :)
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