Step12.com

[Alicia]

I think I have a problem with alcohol. How do I know if I have a problem? Most of the time I dont have a problem. Once in a while I get in trouble. Like last night and a coupla days ago. A friend said I have a problem. Can some one help me find out?

[Dallas]

Hello Alicia, and welcome to the site.

If you want, I believe I can help you discover whether or not you have a problem with alcohol. If you'd like to click the icon below and send me a Private Message, I'll be more than happy to help. (It's the little button below with the images that resemble two people on it).

Dallas B.

[pollypickle]

[Alicia]

Polly thank you I got the message. I guess the test will tell me if I have a problem? I will go look for it now. Can I be too young to have a problem? I'm so confused. My friends said they think I have a problem. I don't see why it is a problem to like to drink. I don't have a problem drinking it because I like to drink. They said something is wrong with me. That hurt my feelings because they are my friends saying this about me. I'm not a bad person I don't think. I dont do bad stuff. But I did have a coupla problems that happened to happened after me when I left a club.

bye for now. Alicia.

[pollypickle]

[Susan68]

I wish I had gotten into AA when I was younger. While it would have been harder to accept the prospect of living life without alcholol, it would have been so much easier on so many other levels. I see so many young people being taken by the scruff of the neck by older adults; I would have had a much easier time accepting direction from other people when I was in my 20's. I was driving my own train, by necessity, and I think I would have welcomed a maternal/paternal figure telling me to shut up and listen. I can't deal with it now.

I wish you the best of luck. When I had one week of "not drinking" I was driving home saying to myself "Susan, what are you crazy? So you had a couple of bad days -- you don't have to get all crazy running into AA!!" Just then a woman I had met in a meeting three or four days prior called me on my cell phone. I started saying, "yeah, I'm sort of thinking I overreacted, etc." She was really cool. She said "Susan, do you think you can go out and limit the amount you drink on any singular occasion?" This was actually a trick question, because I'm thinking "of course I can do that, what's the big deal about that? If I have something to prove in this regard I can most certainly go out and limit myself on any occasion to two pints of beer, or two glasses of wine (as I'm considering my response to the question I'm thinking, "well, I'm not going to agree to limit it to 1, but I will agree to limit it to 2.") Anyway, I responded by saying, "sure, I can control myself and limit myself to 2 drinks." She said, "Susan, anything that you need to "control" is out of control." I told you, trick question. I couldn't argue with that logic.

I would like to say that's the last time I had to ask myself whether I am an alcoholic and really need to be in AA, but it wasn't. I think that's just the cunning nature of this beast (and Dallas would probably say it's also a function of talking about, rather than doing, the 12 steps!!).

I'm working on 90 days, so I'm not guru yet. But I would suggest if you're unsure about whether you're an alcoholic just make a commitment to yourself to go to an AA meeting everyday. Listen to what you hear there. Talk to some folks there after the meetings. You will be so surprised at how many people will be absolutely energized to meet you, and talk to you, and help you find the answer to that question. Even if you decide you're not an alcholic you'll meet a lot of wonderful people who will care enough to help you come to a conclusion.

And check back in here every now and again.

[Alicia]

Im gonna try to have just 2 drinks today and I will let you know how it gos. I think i can do it. I want one of them now I have to get to work and they told me not to have a drink before work. damit i want 1 now but Im gonna wait til lunch I like it to much I geuss. May be I could a have a only hafle one now. I need my job to.

[Susan68]

[DiggerinVA]

Well Just a note I'm 48 years old and I can safely say that when I 1st drank I was a alcoholic. Heck I really did not drink often until my 30's and I was in my 40's before the craving set in. Then I drank to live. It is a fatal and progressive disease.

I was the type of drinker with a high tolerance and no off switch. I could drink enough to do real damage just because it was there. I latter learned I could drink beer and I would get full instead of sloppy.

Take Dallas up on his offer if you have not done so already. You have to make your decision. It is yours and yours alone. I hope it works out well either way for you.

[GeoffS]

Stick your head round the door of an AA meeting and see if you hear anything familiar.

[tim-one]

Alicia,

That's a VERY good question. One most of us had to come to terms with SEVERAL times of doubt.

As Ms. Pickle said, the AA book chapter 3, "More about alcoholism" talks all about that question. I'll add chapter 2, "There is a solution". VERY helpful distinctions made there.

(pssst ... sshhhh ... don't tell anybody ... if you go to a meeting and raise your hand when they ask, "Is anyone visiting their very first AA meeting anywhere?", just say your name and that you're just wondering. You're likely to get a free AA book.)

I found it helpful to read it replacing the words we, he/her with I and see if it sounds familiar to YOU.

The AA book is so comprehensive and simple that I thought it was written about ME. Really. It's all about ME.

I had to do what is nearly impossible for an alcoholic to do while drinking - I had to be brutally honest with myself. Not to talk myself into it blindly, but also not to rationalize my way out of it. If I caught myself explaining to myself why I don't fit that statement, I was lying. I went with my initial gut feeling instead. You, know, the hair on the back of my neck, face-flush, tummy flutters .. the things that happened when mom caught me with a magazine.

Young people have a wonderful opportunity to avoid the pitfalls at an early age that we disdain in old folks. (At 56, I say "we" because I never grew up. And now I blame alcoholism for stunting my maturity.) I said, "I'm not going to be like that, so I'm going to do things different, disregarding experienced advice. Woops. Turns out those old folks said the same thing young and got the same results anyway. DOH!!!!!

Please pay attention to yourself young. You have a chance to avoid all the crap you see around you, to nip it in the bud. Difficult young. Not impossible!

When I came in, I was in a desperate state. IT was OBVIOUS that booze was the problem. So, knowing what I know now from reading the AA book, I went back all the way through my drinkng career to see how it started and progressed. I'll share what I found out about myself. Pretty much just what you will read in the book:

1. My dad was a flamin' alkie. A warning sign I ignored deciding not to "be like him".

2. As a teen, I did the teen thing, get drunk and do outrageous things. Warning: Drinking to get drunk on purpose.

3. Happy hour also called "Attitude Adjustment Hour". Warning: Drinking to change moods. Feel bad - drown my sorrows. Feel good - celebrate.

4. Drinking socially, but more than most others - Warning: abnormal normal drinking.

5. When my drinkin' buddies said I drink too much or get stoopid (usually laughing over last night's foibles) - Warning: Huh? My drunk buddies think I'm a drunk????

6. Drinking alone - Warning: Drinking for NO reason, just to drink.

7. Drinking to "tie one on" - Warning: Reverting to teenage. Akin to bingeing.

8. Drinking before and during work - Warning: Incorporating drinking into functional life.

9. Drinking all day, every day - DOH!

Once one has the knowledge that alcoholism, like most diseases is progressive, he can start watching for what stage of the disease he might be in. NOBODY knew they were alcoholic at their first drink in life. I was quite happy and actually excelled in some areas for a couple of decades of drinking alcoholically. But things progressively, under my nose onmy back, were gradually unravelling unnoticed.

Alcoholics are alcoholic at their first drink. The symptoms just aren't recognizeable ... YET.

Frankly, if you are wondering ... normal drinkers usually have no reason to wonder. (If you just put yourself in the "usual" category, keep wondering. That's another subtle alcoholic lie, "I'm the exception to the rule". It's a good idea to fully research it and recognize where you are on the line of progression, if you are on the line.

Aw, geez, I went off again. Sorry to say too much. You're probly like Charlie Brown when the growed-ups talk now ... "Waah wawah waah wah wah ..."

It was a good exercize for me to remember so I never forget and start wondering again.

Good luck, girl. I hope you're not an alcoholic. But, then again, I've found it to be a wonderful oportunity to finally become the man I was always intendd to be at this late age. Never too late. Never too early. It's always the right time to live a better life!

Love,
Tim1

[tim-one]

Wow, what timing! One of those little HP things I'm getting used to.

A brother sends me am email evry day with "today's readings". This just hit my inbox and is eerily appropriate timing. (You're spooky sometimes, Lord. )

A.A. Thought For The Day

We had become hopelessly sick people; spiritually, emotionally,
and physically. The power that controlled us was greater than
ourselves--it was John Barleycorn. Many drinkers have said: "I
hadn't gone that far; I hadn't lost my job on account of drink; I
still had my family; I managed to keep out of jail. True, I took too
much sometimes and I guess I managed to make quite an a$$ of
myself when I did, but I still thought I could control my drinking. I
didn't really believe that I was an alcoholic." If I was one of these,
have I fully changed my mind?

Meditation For The Day

Painful as the present time may be; you will one day see the reason
for it. You will see that it was not only testing, but also a
preparation for the life-work which you are to do. Have faith that
your prayers and aspirations will someday be answered.
Answered in a way that perhaps seems painful to you but is the only
right way. Selfishness and pride often make us want things that
are not good for us. They need to be burned out of our natures.
We must be rid of the blocks which are holding us back, before we
can expect our prayers to be answered.

Love,
Tim1

[Alicia]

I went to work yesterday and when I got to work I was sent home for 3 days. i Did not drink before work and i got acused of drinking! Said I smelled like alkahol. I got so mad i need this job. I got home and the book that you send Dallas was there. Wow that was fast and I red some parts that you said to read and i read the questions and I passed the test. Teh test said I was alcolaholic.

I was mostly convinced that maybe Im alcoholic. I did not drink yesterday but then a freind came late and we went to the lake and I got bombd. I was able to go all day without drinking though. I feel sick today. I looked at the test again and was going to call the number you sent me but I had laundry to do.

I red the things above though and Dallas and Polly now I probably dont think Im that bad. May be i need to take the test again when I feel better. Three days off and rent is past due and they sade I will have to move. More problems now with job. My phone is not working and job sade they tried to call me and told my freind at work. I dont know what to do now. Im all mixed up. Thank you for the book and the test and the numbers and your kind ness.

Why did the guy here say I have a disease? I do not have any diseases. I thought may be I have a problem but not any diseases. That makes me sicker now. May be I have the flew. That is all I need now another problem a disease. I dont know it is so mixed up for me now.

[Tina L.]

Hello Alicia, my name is Tina, and I'm an alcoholic.

We seem to have some things in common and I hope you will consider contacting me through Private Message as a new friend. What you say with me will remain confidential and I will not share it with anyone. I will also send you a Private Message with my telephone number and address. You can call me collect if you need to call collect. No problem with calling me collect because it will be good for me if you do!

I also believe that I can help you because we have so many things in common.

Please do not let some of the things that you read here in the forum disturb you or distract you.

You will read many things here that are simply the personal opinions of the person making the comments and many times the comments are from some place other than Alcoholics Anonymous. They will have nothing to do with A.A. or in finding out about alcoholism.

I understand about being mixed-up! I understand about wondering about how to tell if you have a problem with alcohol. I understand about getting your feelings hurt by friends that suggest that you may have a drinking problem. I understand about needing a job. I understand about losing a job. I lost my job and lost my apartment and ended up living in my car until my car was taken away. I had friends and we would go to the beach at night and get bombed!

I'll bet we have many more things in common too!

Dallas sent you a book? He sent me a book, too!

He also helped me find some women in Alcoholics Anonymous and a local Group of A.A. members that were able to help me. I would like to be able to return the favor, if you will allow me to help you! It will help me if I can help you.

Please keep coming back. We care about you.

Tina L.

[tim-one]

Alicia,