I AM an alcoholic, my name is Lauren

[Jellymint]

Hello. My name is Lauren and I am an alcoholic. I "discovered" this truth about myself a couple of months ago - and it was shocking. I always knew I had alcoholic tendencies - family history - but didn't realize how much of my life has been lead by the "isms". I am/was extremely co-dependent ... and my codependent "disease" has ... for the most part ... controlled my physical drinking - thus not ever suspecting my true alcoholic nature. As I become more and more familiar with what is an alcoholic ... I am mortified and comforted at the same time. Mortified to realize how alcohol has ruled my life and been the main contributor to the wreckage in my past. Comforted because ... it is all starting to make sense and there ARE people out there that really truly understand how I tick.

I quit my life in July - quite literally. I took what cash was on hand, left my job, my hubby, my son, my country. I picked a spot in the states and hopped on a plane. I decided that if this was all life had to offer .... I didn't want it. Since then, AA has come into my life and I now have a direction which will bring healing.

I am struggling ... I am "trusting the process" ... I am transient so it is a bit difficult to set down roots and build those deep relationships with other AA people. I am hoping to get some support through this forum. I am currently in the process of column 2 of the 4th step inventory ...

Thanks
Lauren

[Dallas]

Hello Lauren! Thanks for showing up here! It's great to have you. You'll probably find as much support around here... that you can accept. So, I hope you'll keep coming back and sharing your self and the updates on your life and your recovery.

I can remember when I first got sober... and it seemed like "if there is something that could be wrong with me... I've got it... and what can I do about it?"

I found some list with about 300 different 12 Step Groups... and one look at the list... made me think that I would probably identify and qualify for at least 297 of them!

The more I looked around at the different stuff, the more confused I became. I finally had a moment of clarity that was "well... if you're not sober you can't do much about anything!" And, that made me decide to put all my energy into giving A.A. a try.

Fortunately, the same 12 Steps that was helping me to recover from my alcoholism... was treating all of the other baggage that I was carrying around in my head. Once my trash got taken out... and my house was clean... I just needed to keep it clean, and so far... it's worked like a charm!

I'd like to hear more from you! When you get the opp post again!

Dallas

[Tina L.]

Hi Lauren. Welcome to the forum. I'm glad you are here and that you shared. KCB. Tina. xoxoxo

[Dallas]

Hey Jellymint! It's been a few months since I've seen you on the board. Are you okay? Did your sobriety survive over the holidays? I hope you're doing well!

Dallas