Step12.com

[Sharkbait]

Where is the line which separates a potential alcoholic from a real alcoholic? Please help, I'd like some insights on this. I tried to quote the BB keeping as faithful to the context as possible. I'm confused. Because I don't know where I stand... How can I get to know whether I'm an alcoholic or a potential alcoholic?

"Though there is no way of proving it, we believe that early in our drinking careers we could have stopped drinking. But the difficulty is that few alcoholics have enough desire to stop while there is yet time."

So this means that before one becomes an alcoholic there is time to stop and moderate and not fall into alcoholism at all? Only most people realise this too late?

"We who are familiar with the symptoms, see large numbers of potential alcoholics among young people everywhere".

By the word potential does the book mean that only a percentage of potential alcoholics end up as alcoholics?

"As we look back we feel we had gone on drinking many years beyond the point where we could quit on our will power".

Hence the point exists where one is able to quit and not become an alcoholic on one's own will power.... where is that point? Is it determined by the medical symptoms of alcoholism exhibited? Or by the reactions one has when one attempts to quit?

"Though you may be able to stop for a considerable period, you may yet be a potential alcoholic".

The BB says the word "may". Which means that people who can quit and start controlling their drinking also may not become alcoholic?

[Dallas]

Not everyone who drinks is an alcoholic...

"We hope we have made clear the distinction between the alcoholic and the nonalcoholic. If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic.

-- Big Book: We agnostics, page 44"

Three questions:

1. When you honestly want to, can you quit drinking entirely?

2. Can you stay quit entirely?

3. Do you always maintain a lot of control over the amount that you drink, once you get started?

------------------------------------------

If you have problems while you're drinking... perhaps you just have a drinking problem and you're not alcoholic. Not everyone who has problems when they drink is an alcoholic.

If your problem is alcohol, or if your problem is drinking... the solution is very simple... just stop drinking alcohol and your problem with alcohol is gone. You don't need A.A. to do that.

If your problem is alcoholism... that's an entirely different story.

Dallas

[Candy]

For me the invisible line was crossed when alcohol began to be like magic for me. After a few drinks I began to feel like I was everything that I ever dreamed of being and that life was wonderful. I think I drank more to feel more of the same. I spent most of my time chasing my dreams. Alcohol made me feel like my dreams were going to come true. I dont know when it happened but my dreams began to be nightmares. Then I drank to run from my dreams and I felt like if it wasnnot for alcohol the nightmares would come true. Where is the invisible line? Who knows? The most important thing that happened for me was when I sat in a jail cell beat up once more and the moment of clarity came to me that I must have crossed some invisible line of no return. I better change the subject. I still get sad and depressed when I think of where I have been. I am just so truly greatful to be sober and where I am today.

Love and hugs to all of you
Candy

[MarkW]

Thanks Candy

Wow - this brings back memories... for which I'm grateful - that they are memories and no longer current events

[Sharkbait]

Dallas: I'm still trying to find answers to your questions...

Candy: Thank you for sharing such an important part of your life with me. I appreciate it a lot. *hugs*

[anniemac]

Hi Sharkbait ~

You sound very much like I did when I came to AA, so I ask this question from a place of understanding, not from a place of arrogance:

What does it matter?

If you are still trying to find the answers to Dallas' 3 questions, then my assumption would be that you can not, at times, control the amount you drink, quit when you want, and stay stopped.

Whether that is called Alcoholism or Potential Alcoholism is irrelevant. What it says to me is that alcohol is causing problems for you. So, why not come to AA meetings for 30 days and see how you feel after? As we say around these parts, "If, after 30 days, you're not pleased with what you've found, we will refund your misery."

I carry this quote around in my wallet:

I would rather go through life sober, believing I am an alcoholic,
than go through life drunk, trying to convince myself that I am not.

Blessings,
Anne

[Dallas]

Nice quote Anne! I'm going to make a few cards... it would be nice to have them to pass out when appropriate! Also -- that's a good quote to post in our new "Quotes" section on the forum!

Dallas

[taraK]

Annie,

That quote is so true and thought provoking! Thanks for sharing it, and I will definately keep that one with me.

The more I am sober, the more I find such wonder, happiness, and clarity. When I used to hear people say things such as this, (when I was drinking) I used to think what a crock! But oh how true it is when the clouds of alcoholism begin to clear.

Thanks all!

Tara

[taraK]

Annie,

That quote is so true and thought provoking! Thanks for sharing it, and I will definately keep that one with me.

The more I am sober, the more I find such wonder, happiness, and clarity. When I used to hear people say things such as this, (when I was drinking) I used to think what a crock! But oh how true it is when the clouds of alcoholism begin to clear.


Thanks all!

Tara

[musicmode]

My name is Anne , I'm an alcoholic,

Great quote Annie . I heard that once & forgot about that. When I heard that, it was during a fellowship after a meeting. The newcomer was expressing the same type of difficulty, w/ both whether or not he was alcoholic, as well as whether or not there was a God. The guy, one of who had what I wanted when it came to sobriety...when he spoke, whether he was speaking directly to me, at a meeting, or to someone else at fellowship...I hung on to every word. He'd said he'd rather go thru life sober than drunk wondering, then when it came to the God concept, he said: I'd rather go thru life believing & find out there isn't at the end, than goin' thru life not believin', & find out there is.

Keep It Simple.

Peace,
Anne

[Marley]

Sharkbait,

The problem with alcoholism is that no matter what anyone else says, you are the only person with the answer to your question.

The questions Dallas listed are a good guide but it's up to the individual.

Personally when I started to think I might be alcoholic I already was. I know this now but at the time I ignored the symtoms. I anylized and read and anylized some more. I tried to come up with any reason in the world to explain away my drinking. Any problem I had, had to be the result of something else in my life anything but the alcohol itself. It took an impaired charge and a night in jail to bring it all home to me.

There is no reason in the world for you to go through the misery that I went through. Listen to your head and heart; and pray.

God Bless,
Marley

[ElectronicDan]

For me, as a college student, I always thought it was normal and acceptable to consume copious amounts of alcohol. But my peers could have nights where they didn't drink and still have fun. I couldn't fathom that idea!!! So I'd sneak in a few nips (haha, "a few"-I still kid myself!) before we went out, and maybe a few more in the bathroom or somewhere secluded just so I could be "myself".

On the outside I looked like everyone else, I looked like I was having the time of my life! But on the inside, I yearned to be everything the alcohol gave me. By the end of my drinking days, I was still chasing that damn delusion that it will be fun this time. Don't get me wrong, I thought I was having fun while I drank, but in reality I was so lonely. I could be in a room of 50 people drinking and feel like the only person in that room.

But with all that said, what solidified my position on whether I was an alcoholic or just a heavy/problem drinker?

When I consciously realized that I couldn't stop for good, for any reason, and that my delusion would still point me to the contrary. When I realized that alcohol wasn't my problem, it was my solution. I then realized I was an alcoholic.

Sure, I went a few spouts of not drinking, I went a month there--3 months over there---but the bottom line was, I'd always end up with the damn drink in my hand again!

I was depressed and I didn't know why! Doctors, therapists, etc, over and over again. What the heck was my problem? No one could figure it out! I thought it was my parents, so I moved out of my house to a "safer" more "emotionally stable" house. Haha, I can only laugh at the depths I went to fix my "issues" and not blame the bottle in my hand. I could have had everything going right for me in the world or could have had everything going wrong for me in this world, and the drink was still there.

-----------------------------

I hope that my story has helped you and not confused you further, because the bottom line is only you can decide.

No one could have told me I was or wasn't, it just sort of fell into my lap one day. The pieces all fell into place. Mind you, this was after I got into the doors of AA, read the Big Book and heard some speakers that I could very much identify with.

An important thing you must consider is this:
Do not compare. Identify!

I walked in and the first thing I said to myself was, "I'm not an alcoholic, I haven't been to jail yet! I'm not an alcoholic, I haven't gotten a DUI! I've still got some drinkin' in me! I'm too young for this!!!"

We can identify with things people say but to compare your experiences with others will get you no where. There are no qualifications for AA, you need not worry if you haven't hit the bottom that another had hit!

For me, the pain is what lead me to AA. It wasn't the same pain as the person sitting next to me, but it was enough pain for me, thank you very much.

And above all else, always remember, if you want to quit and cannot, whether it be in the immediate future or sometime down the road, you know there is a solution and it begins as soon as you step into the rooms of AA.

Welcome, and I hope you find what you are looking for.

[Dallas]

Thanks for sharing Dan!!! Great stuff!!! Keep coming back!

Dallas

[rpallen]

"we can see the symptoms" those that do as i and many other alcoholics did, they will be alcoholics!!! if they stop now , will they be alcoholics? if they start again with the same results? sounds more like looking for a loophole to me. i say this because my sponsor told me the same 23 years ago. so far i have found no valid loopholes!! thank god cause finding one might get me drunk

always,
rich A

[Dallas]

Thanks for the posts Rich! My experience relates and identifies!

Keep coming back!!! And, post some more messages! I enjoy reading them and relating.

Dallas